How can I be a good mother when you think you're feeding your children something you thought was good for them

Question

turns out aspartame and soy can cause cancer. I thought these things would be better for them since sugar is bad and meat is unhealthy I thought substitutes would be better. Here I've been increasing my childrens risk of cancer and other health problems. What kind of mother am I. I feel horrible!

Answer 1

Just stick with natural foods, and forget the alternatives. Who says meat is unhealthy? Small, lean portions are fine. And sugar is okay too if you don't feed them much of it. Concentrate on things like fruit, veggies, whole grains.

And forget the "bad mother" title. We all make mistakes sometimes. We learn from the mistakes, and we go on.

Answer 2

Simple. You're doing your best with the information you have. That's all any of us can do. :)

As far as I know, soy doesn't cause cancer. Certainly not in moderation. You'd have to be eating a boatload of it to get cancer from it. Aspartame is a big debate. Some say it's dangerous. Some say it's fine. I avoid it. And I limit sugar. Sweets are a treat, not an everyday thing. And my 11 month old has never had sugar or aspartame. He won't until he's about 2.

I like the advice someone else gave. Find a dietitian or nutritionist and get some help getting menu ideas for the kids.

Good luck and don't beat yourself up. Even if you made a huge mistake (which I don't figure you did), it was a mistake and you learn from it. That's what good parents do. Bad parents would say, "Oh well" and then keep doing it.

Answer 3

You cannot possibly keep your kids from every single thing that "causes" cancer.

Soy does not "cause" cancer. Along with being human, alive, a particular gender, a smoker, a drinker, someone who likes to tan too much, genetic issues, and hundreds of other factors, it is a possible risk factor in SOME cancers.

I think your best bet would be to make sure your children have NATURAL sugars (from fruits, etc.). Even refined sugar isn't a guaranteed unhealthy thing, as long as it is used sparingly. Meat isn't "unhealthy", just make sure that it isn't overly processed (hot dogs, luncheon meat, etc.), and that it's lean cuts (chicken breast instead of a drumstick.)

Moderation is the key to a healthy diet in children. Sugar and red meat, and soy, in EXCESS are not good for you. In regular amounts, it's fine.

Aspartame is actually a chemical, and I'm of the opinion that if there are alternatives to actually putting chemicals in your body, they should be used. I am, however, somewhat addicted to diet soda. :-D

NONE of this means that you are a bad mom, though. If you took to heart every news story you hear about what causes cancer, your children would never be able to do or eat ANYTHING. Take the reasonable precautions that you can, but most doctors will tell you that cancer is still a fairly mysterious disease. In most cases, they don't know exactly what causes it. They are only able to identify some "risk factors", but even if you don't have one risk factor, there is no guarantee you wouldn't get cancer anyway.

Take a deep breath, turn the tv off or put the magazine down when you come across something telling you the next dangerous thing for you or your children, keep an open relationship with your kids' pediatrician about serious questions you have, and know the rest of us are either doing that same thing, or we're freaking out, too. :-D

Answer 4

For everything you eat or feed your kids there is probably some information you will find about the benefits and other information about the risks. If aspertame causes cancer then try using splenda instead. I've never heard of soy causing cancer though. Meat isn't always unhealthy, chicken is good as long is it isn't fried and having red meat occassionally isn't so bad. Your not a bad mother. I guarntee if you look elsewhere you will find information saying aspertame and soy don't cause cancer. The truth is I don't think anyone really knows what does really cause problems. We can only guess and research and find contradicting research at some point later.

Answer 5

Hey, don't beat yourself up. So we all have done it. It's the world not us. So stop the hot dogs and aspertame especially. The soy I didn't know about??? Now just remember though sugar isn't great it is a natural substance and is ok in moderation. As a treat. Then aspertame shouldn't even be on the market!!! It is. So feed your kids well balanced, nutritious foods and snacks, with lots of fruits and veggies. Offer them a variety and they will get what they need. Also, meats, lean beef supplies iron and b12 and folic acid, a very needed variety of nutrients, just make sure it is whole grain fed angus beef without additives.kids need these things. They go through stages and always change what they like so always offer the variety and ask them to try different things every now and then to see if they like it. Their taste changes over time. Don't cook different meals for everyone either, let them eat what you cook or eat cereal, that's it. They can't always be catered to and cereal has vitamins and one meal won't hurt them. Healthey snacks make up for all they loose. Good luck and you are a good mom. Kids are reselient and tough, look what we have lived through. lol

Answer 6

I think your being very hard on yourself calling yourself a bad mother. Aspertame is not good for you even though it is in so many diet foods and soda's. As for the Soy, I have never heard that, that is bad for you. But my point is this, a bad mother does things intentionaly to hurt her children, you were doing what you thought was right for your kids. You trusted the products you bought and now you have found out that they are bad, so show that you are a good mother by not using them anymore. Instead of diet sugars, use Splenda there are more and more things being sweetened by this product. As for Soy. if it is unsafe, meats, poultry and Seafood are very good for you. Just depends on how its cooked. Put it this way. The Japanese live on seafood and they have the lowest heart disease and cancers on the planet and also live the longest... So dont go knocking yourself down

Answer 7

You are still a good mother! You care enough to try to avoid what are generally considered bad things in their diet. This just goes to show that sometimes the cure is worse then the disease. We are always being told on the news what is bad for us. Then some company comes out with sugar substitutes and other products that are "engineered". Just stick to natural foods that are not processed. I would rather feed my child natural sugar in moderation as opposed to something some chemist came up with. You are A GREAT MOM!!!!!

Answer 8

Unless you are a board-certified dietician with multiple advanced degrees in science and medicine, you couldn't have possibly known all the risks. As average citizens, we must depend on the "experts" to provide us with information and can only base our decisions on that. If they tell us soy is good one day, but oops, the next day they say they were wrong, it is not your fault! So, stop beating yourself up so much. You are doing the best you can. In fact, you're probably doing better than most because I hadn't heard anything about soy causing cancer.

Answer 9

Everything causes cancer now! Don't worry about so much. Your kids won't hold it against you. Think back to when you were a kid. What was "good for you" then that will supposedly kill you now? The thing with soy is that it replaces things that can be high in fat. Chicken nuggets or soy nuggets? The soy is less bad.

Answer 10

There are plenty of ppl out there who will delight in making you feel horrible as a mother. In fact, the Ad agencies are counting on it, as it fuels the industry. DON'T LET THE BASTARDS WIN! DON'T FEEL GUILTY!

Ehem. Aspertane is indeed evil. Soy is only nasty if it's GMO, which is most of it in the States. Stay with organic products, which do not permit GMO's and you'll be fine. I've never met a conventionally trained dietician in my life who looked healthy or who consequently gave good advice. Find a whole foods specialist in your neightbourhood who LOOKS like she's vibrant, strong, and youthful; in other words, like you'd like to look. Same as you should only get someone's advice on clothes if they dress in a style that you like. Do alot of homework to find substitutes. Sure, sugar and meat are poison, but so are aspertane and that other deadly chlorine based one Splenda, and GMO's. Look up Stevia, and maybe consider organic whole food sugars like rice syrup, malts, etc. I haven't eaten meat in over a decade now, and my daughter has been raised such. We are slim, healthy, strong, and others usually assume I'm half my actual age. Ignore the hype, and get educated. You'll feel much better, on so many levels...

Answer 11

Your not a horrible mother! Now that you know that information just stop feeding them that stuff. You were doing what you thought best. If all mothers stopped and thought about a lot of things they have done in the past they probably would think they were bad mothers too. Calm down dear, I am sure your a good mom, you were just trying to make them healthy by feeding them from something that is supposed to be healthier. But, I haven't heard of either causing cancer. Talk to the doctor about it all, they'll be able to help you more about it. But, no you are def. not a bad mom.