hes 19 years older than me (im 19), hes my boss, and he has a girlfriend. but weve known each other for awhile and lately we have been hanging out outside of work. i think he likes me but hes too scared about the 3 problems we have. what should i do? forget about it or pursue?
2007-02-13 04:27:00 · 9 answers · asked by lalalalove 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I also am 19, and have run across this and similiar circumstances. Of course a person will always follow what he/she thinks is right, but let me see if I can help point you towards what I hope will be the right direction.
First: You're 19, he's 38...does that not seem a little strange to you? If he's interested in someone barely over the legal limit, that can indicate a problem. He could be interested in the young ones, he could be unfit for the company of those his own age, or he could be planning to take advantage of you. While this isn't always the case, it is very likey that one or all of these apply.
Second: He has a girlfriend. I have been with enough of the losers of the dating world to notice that, once a cheater always a cheater. If he's interested in persuing you, even while he has a girlfriend, he may do it again. Even if nothing happens, would you really want to know that he could be out with someone else trying to decide if he should leave you or not?
Third: He is your boss. If something goes foul in the relationship, you may find yourself seeking other employment. This sounds almost like an abuse of his employer relationship with you (i.e. sexual harassment). Even if you don't mind now, he may not take no for an answer later. He may even hold your job over your head to make sure you do as he asks, or stay with him. Also remember what may happen to your relationship with other employees. Favoritism, real or imagined, could cause some strain for you, him, and everyone else involved.
Also, on another note... Remember that super-hot-but-married teacher there was back in high school? Every girl crushes on him, thinks he likes her, and dreams of being with him. But in reality, they see only what they want to see. So it's also possible that if you only "think" he likes you back, if you try to go for it, you may find work uncomfortable that you can't continue working there.
So, whatever you choose, think about all of this. If you go for it, and it's the best choice of your life, bravo. If not, bravo anyways. There is no one who can make this kind of choice for you. I know, it all sounds like your mother talking, but like I said...I'm 19 too. I may not know you personally, or the circumstance, but I know what kind of things have happened to me and my friends.
I wish you good luck in your endeavor, however you choose to approach it. =D
2007-02-13 04:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by Naamah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are 3 BIG problems. You should never date your boss - ever. You shouldn't steal someone else's boyfriend either. 19 years is an entire generation - what on earth do you have in common anyway?
You should totally forget it - and until you do, find polite reasons not to hang out with him outside of work. If you can't forget about it you should at least get a new job first.
2007-02-13 04:32:57 · answer #2 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, me and my bf's age has a gap of 5 years, and I always believe that was alot, and you liked this guy that is 19 years older than you.
Well I will remain true to my principles, and just tell you that age shouldn't make a difference. Only if you TRULY, REALLY.REALLY like him. If its just an attraction, or infatuation, you mind as well go look into someone else. You should just let things go naturally, get to know him more, and see if he really has true feelings for you. If he really likes you he would definitely break up with his gf, and do something. You shouldnt make the first move though, leave it to him. If he doesnt, than it will be apparent that he doesnt really like you alot, and would like to have something with you. Not until he does something, to show that he is trying. If not, you should really look into other men, I mean 19 years of age difference, is kind of hard to handle now, and later on.
good luck to you,
saphire
2007-02-13 04:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by Saphire04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on exactly what you are looking for. If you are looking for a casual sex partner then he is your man. If you are looking for a relationship then he is already taken. Unless you have no morals or self respect go for it and maybe you him and his girlfriend can have a great time together. Really, slow down. If it is meant to be then it will be. I wouldn't pursuit anyone currently in a relationship unless I was willing to share. What ever you chose to do, Good Luck!
2007-02-13 04:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by Unsure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't pursue. Dating your boss is a powder keg. If it ends horrbily, your going to have to deal with a real mess.
2007-02-13 04:35:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never ever date your boss unless you're willing to possibly quit your job for awkward reasons should it not work out!
2007-02-13 04:31:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the first two.. the most important part is that he has a GF...He's "UNAVAILABLE". He will not leave his GF for you. If he does... another girl will comeby and it's see ya later for you.So you should definately just be friends only... not with benefits... friends only..
2007-02-13 04:35:30 · answer #7 · answered by NicOOd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too many complications right now will lead you to problems with him if say you two ended up going out. Do you really want that?
2007-02-13 04:30:45 · answer #8 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a girlfriend forget about it. Just remain friends.
2007-02-13 04:30:07 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋