My 21 year old daughter is very into theater and is graduating from college this year...I have no problems with her or her life style, she is appreciative of all she has been given and does well and so on...problem...she wants to move to NYC after graduation..she has led a somewhat sheltered life...am I being over protective to want to try to talk her out of it...?????...theater is her thing and that is where it is at...she is very talented but the city thing scares me...help???? thanks....
2007-02-13 03:57:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you guys are great...thanks..knew it, needed to hear it...still scared...but all great points...thanks again..
2007-02-13 04:07:21 · update #1
Sounds like you've always been supportive of her. You need to let her follow her dreams. Reassure her that she will always have you for advice an that if after a good try in NYC she's not happy she has a home to come back to. There is not guarantee that things will go smoothly for her and you can't protect her forever,but think of things you've been through in your life and lessons you've learned. You want your child to learn those lessons too. She'll be okay.
2007-02-13 04:02:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can express your worries, but ultimately it is her decision and you need to let her know that you will support it no matter what she decides. Even if you don't support her decision to move to NY you must be convincing about your support. She must be allowed to assert her independence, if she is never allowed to do that you will end up caring for your 45 year old daughter who is too scared to go out into the real world and make her own way. She will have problems and she will face difficulty, but if you raised her right she will persevere, overcome and be a stronger person for it. And, I cannot think of a better place to be to pursue the stage. When you are speaking to her of your concerns, make sure you phrase it in such a way that you are not trying to "talk her out of it". At some point she must leave your nest, now is the time and your support will help give her strength.
2007-02-13 12:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by nathanael_beal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your concerns. However, you need to let her go. She is 21, is graduating from college and wants to follow her dream. If you try and stop her she will probably resent you. Instead, tell her your concerns and then let her know that you trust her and wish her the best. Make sure you stay in touch and are there for her if things get tough. Perhaps you two should make a trip to NYC together. See what she likes/dislikes about it and you may find that you actually like it too. Good luck to you and your daughter!
2007-02-13 12:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Swim Mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see why you would be a little worried, a big city would be intimidating for just about anyone of that age. Instead of talking her out of it, which might just make her resent you and want to go even more, help her make smart plans and do your best to get her ready to live there independantly and then let her go. She'll learn. And if she gets there and it's not her thing, let her know your there for her. Sounds like you have a talented girl on your hands. Best wishes to you both!
2007-02-13 12:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by MamaToFour 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's 21 it's time to cut the apron strings. What are you going to do when she wants to get married? I think you need to let her go and pursue her dreams, but be there for her if she needs a place to land if things don't work out. Get a good long distance plan, seriously she's 21 and you need to let her be an adult, she needs to be able to make her own decisions, it seems you've raised her right to make good choices.
2007-02-13 12:07:39 · answer #5 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid of big cities, they are full of good people too. :-) I actually love big cities - they are full of life and motion, so dynamic and interesting. As long as you have good relationships with you daughter, you shouldn't worry. Encourage her to tell you stuff from her life so you would know what is goind on and give her some good advice or help her when she is in need. She will appreciate your being supportive as hard as it must be for you.
2007-02-13 12:11:41 · answer #6 · answered by petyado 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must trust yourself that you raised your daughter right. She is an adult and needs to create her own future. All you can do is address your concerns with her and let her know that you will always be there for her. That way if she does need help in NYC she will know she can come to you.
2007-02-13 12:05:49 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle D 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do have a right to love and support her. I can understand your feeling. You may go to NYC with her to help her settle down. That will help both of you for the big transition.
Good luck!
2007-02-13 12:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by Kimora Miranda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
like you said she lived a shelter life, and that was probably becasue of you. and now you dont what to let her go. It will be hard, but wouldnt you feel really good if she did make it on her own, but if she doesnt for some reason doesnt always be there for her.
2007-02-13 12:02:30 · answer #9 · answered by andy a 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My mom was afraid to let me go to college. I think that you should just let her go, but make sure that she calls you at least once a week just to make sure things are going okay. Let her follow her heart, and if she doesn't like it, I'm sure that she'll let you know. The best way to learn something is to do it yourself, right? Let her go live her dream
2007-02-13 12:02:01 · answer #10 · answered by Cal Poly Chica 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋