how long should i wait before asking my girlfriend of 11 days to marry me?

Question

we are both 49/51 and have been married B4

Answer 1

I actually think you should wait a little while, at least long enough to establish whether or not she wants this too.

You don't say how long you've known her though. Have you known each other longer but only recently started dating, or did you just meet 11 days ago? I think that is very relevant.

As others have pointed out, it is relevant that you have both been married before. Why did those marriages end? Was it through death or divorce? Relevant to whether or not you tried to make things work, for example.

Also, how long ago did your previous marriages end? If it was recent then you need to make sure this isn't a rebound thing.

Something else to consider is any children you both have. If they are young then you should certainly wait a while, and if they are adult then they may think you are both mad!

If you both feel the same way, the previous marriages were a while ago, you have known each other longer than you have been dating and the previous marriages were not just thrown away (and kids are considered) then do it!

Otherwise I would say to establish how she feels about it and then give it a few months.

What you have to remember is that just because you become engaged, it doesn't mean you then have to go and marry each other the next day! There is no harm in having a long engagement and getting to know each other as fiance and fiancee not as boyfriend and girlfriend :)

Answer 2

There is no harm in asking her now, but before you do, please make sure that she wants the same as you. You say you have both been married before, then ask yourself these questions.
1) how long ago did you respective marriages end?
2) make sure neither of you are on the rebound
3)do you think she wants the same thing as you do
4) would you want a long engagement or get married quickly
5) if there are children involved, how do you get on with her children and how do her children get on with you, and most important, do all the children get on with each other.
You are both old enough to know your own minds, but 11 days seems to be very quick for you wanting to get married again, have you known each other for a long time?
Take time to get to know each other, then after a few months, and you feel the same way about her, then go for it, but for the time being, I would hold off, you might be going to fast for her liking. GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

As long as it takes until you are both comfortable enough with the idea and have gotten to know each other well enough to know it'll work, and after you've established a pattern of open and honest communication about these things.
Being 49/51 isn't exactly ancient these days - no reason to rush into anything.

Answer 4

I think you should definately wait at least a year. You need to get to know her really well and make sure she is the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. You cannot possibly know in just 11 days that you want to be with her forever. I think most relationships are all happy and good in 11 days! It is as you talk and find things you disagree on, and have arguements and get through those arguements and learn what the other person likes and dislikes...that is when you can really decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with her.

I wish you the best of luck! Just give it some time, be absolutely sure she is right, you don't want another divorce.

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with waiting. Wait a year and if you feel the same way, go for it. You two are not the youngest couple and im sure you dont plan on having kids, so why get married or rush into it. Getting married is for people who are going to settle down and start a family. I would hold off and wait because there is no need to rush into it. Being married is just a name, being inlove is real. You need to wait and see.

Answer 6

I have friends that met, spent a weekend in a hotel room and got engaged about 5 days later.

They now live happily with 2 kids after about 4 years.

Personally I think it is crazy but you just never know. Don't think Valentine's day should be a catalyst for life-decisions so keep that in mind.

If you really think it feels right, go with it, but if you think it could wait, what is the rush? As long as you are together, that is what counts and not a ring on a finger.

Answer 7

I say give it a year or at least 6 months. You just can't know someone after 11 days. I just found out that I didn't really know my boyfriend (now my ex) of 7 1/2 years! If it's meant to be, you can wait a while before you get married.

Answer 8

Maybe you should wait a little longer. You don't want to scare her off by moving too fast. Has she given you any hints to where her heart is? However, if she has told you that she would like to marry you then ask her right now. It doesn't mean you have to get married tomorrow. My parents were engaged after 2 weeks and are still together 29 years later.

Answer 9

I'm only 23 and about to be married for my first time. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years, I know, a LONG time. Anyway, my father always told me to date someone for a year before getting engaged. Why? Because during that year you get to know that person during every season. Some people act differently during different seasons. Not only that but I was also told to watch how he treats his mother because that is how he will treat me. Same goes for a woman, watch how she treats her father because that is how she will treat you. Even though you both have been married before and think you have it right this time, I would still wait for 1 year. If you guys aren't able to wait for 1 year I would ask yourself, Why? You might want to find the answer to that question first. If it is because you think he/she will leave you before then, then you don't want to marry that person to begin with.
Good luck!!!

Answer 10

Wow, maybe you should hold off a little..maybe get to know each other before you take the plunge to spending the rest of your days together. People take marriage way too lightly..thats why there are so many divorces! Hey everything is rosy in the beginning because you don't really know each other and haven't shown the "other" side. And everybody has a side thats not so pretty! Marriage is sacred and never should have to end in divorce..unless it was rushed and they didn't know what they were getting into!