How can you get through the initial stages of a broken heart?

Question

I am going to lose the love of my life for reasons other than our relationship. What can I say to change his mind? If I can't change his mind, how do I go on and go to work everyday pretending that I am not falling apart? I can't eat or sleep because of anxiety and I have stomach cramps and a headache. I know that he loves me, but he can't deal with my child and feels that he needs to get away. Help, I'm desperate. I have an appointment with a counselor, but not until Thursday night. How will I make it until then? Valentine's day will be too much to bear tomorrow. Honest, I just want to curl up in a ball and never wake up.

He does love my 14-year-old daughter, but she cannot be what he wants as far as being a perfectly obedient happy social butterfly. She going through a rebellious period and wearing black and is moody sometimes. He has tried to parent her, but she refuses to come into line.

Please try to understand. I was in a very bad marriage for 18 years before this wonderful man came into my life. It is so hard to let him go. He has never been anything but perfectly wonderful to me and we have never even had a difference of opinion, let alone an argument. I can't even find anything to fault him on to get mad enough to get me through this.

Answer 1

You make it one day at a time. If tomorrow hurts too much, take it off and stay home and curl up into that ball. It is painful at first, very painful, but time does heal it. I promise. The counselor is a good idea. Just hurt for now. It is OK. Dealing with loss is always scary and difficult. But know this, you are strong enough to survive this episode. That is the truth. And on the other side you will be stronger. But for right now do what you need to do to comfort yourself, as long as you do not hurt yourself. You are strong enough, but for now crying is not such a bad thing. Your child is much more important than any one man. Never, ever forget that. You choose the child. That child still loves you. Let there love get you though this time.

Answer 2

You go on because you don't have any other choice, especially if you have a child who already has problems. Sorry, but you don't really have the time or the right to fall apart over some man when you need to go to work, and care for your child.
How to change his mind? Why would you want someone who can't deal with your child?
Valentine's Day isn't too much to bear -come on, you're a grown woman not a 13-year old girl.

Answer 3

You have spoken the future. "I am going..." So now let's help you. There is so much you don't know about you social group. Be prepared for depression from false expectations and accept that you are an outsider. Find one good friend who is an outsider and had to learn the hard way too . You will find happiness again. Or you can use some pills to prevent thinking too much until this is all over. Then pick up the pieces and start all over again.

Answer 4

Okay, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and go completely against everyone else. Give this guy some time and do not let go of him. If raising a child were a piece of cake we would all be doing it with no mistakes. Just the way you talk about "him" tells me he is quite likely the best person to be aiding you in the difficulties of life and the complexities of love. This is an adjustment for him, too. I would let him know you love him, need him and you'll be there when he decides, on his own, to join your life. Love's hard enough to find without interference and bad advice. Listen to your heart, nobody else, and take your child bowling tomorrow.

Answer 5

Cry loudly, scream bash the stuffing out of a teddy bear and call you ex all the names you can think of. Then clear up the mess and get on with life. You have responsibilities and should not let this man destroy you. I know what its like I have been there (for similar reasons too!). I know how bad you feel but sometimes we cannot control things and just have to go on.

Answer 6

First of all, my deepest sympathies to you. Don't hold it. Have a good cry. That will release part of the trauma. I also suggest the following:

Rescue Remedy (Bach Flower Combination) -

Ignatia (homeopathic medicine) -

Both of the above will give you some relief from the side effects of grief.

Reiki will help you see the whole thing as a lesson for your own spiritual progress. I am sending Reiki to you for your highest good and pl. accept the same with gratitude to Reiki.

With best wishes from India,

Answer 7

You dont need some one like that around, I know that is easier said then done but, your child comes first and you have to keep going for them. If he needs to go then let him. There are other guys around that will love you and your child. Try to do things that will take your mind off of him. Have fun with your child and in time things will work themselves out in your head.

Answer 8

first you need to realize you don't "need" anybody in order to be happy, it is nice, but you can get along on your own.

Besides, how happy would you two have been if he can't be a father figure in your child's life? Just be glad it is over now, because it surely would have been later. He is not Mr. Right for obvious reasons, you just need to be patient.

Answer 9

Try to focus on your kid. ask yourself, Is somethig going on with my kid or his /her behavior, or am I involved with a man who does not want to share me or be a part of my current family ? Get yourself mentally prepared. And if he is living with you, stay somewhere else for a few days if possible. Spend Valentine's Day with your kiddo, and talk about how it might effect him/her. Put all of your energy there and you will become stronger than you can imagine. Also, validate your feelings;you are GREIVING and need to heal.lol.

Answer 10

Why would you need somebody like this? Your kid should come first if dude doesn't want the kid what do you want him for? Dude can leave anytime, kid or no kid, that is just his excuse, but your kid is your kid is your kid forever no matter what. Think about what it is doing to your kid while you are thinking about falling apart and don't do it. NO one is worth that. Cry if you need to, but say f it to the dude.