Ok so here's the thing.. I am unofficially engaged to my daughter's dad .. we've been together for I don't know how many years, but I have always had this thing for another guy. I can't seem to get him out of my head and we have never gone on any dates or anything. I have known him longer than my bf now. In a way I want to give him a try and see if it goes anywhere, but on the other hand I love the man I'm with and don't want to lose him. I just don't know what to do. I have never told my bf anything about this guy before. Does anyone have any suggestions for me?
2007-02-13 03:44:04 · 7 answers · asked by Nikkie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There's a few issues and none of them less than complex.
Your current bf may be so hurt by you wanting to try out the other guy, he'll never take you back after you find out it was better the old way. Obviously there must be something missing from your current relationship for you to even want to try out this other guy. You should figure that out first, talk to the current guy and work on what's missing. If in time that doesn't pan out, move on to the new guy and try that. It may not work either but at least you were at peace with the current guy and what was missing before you risked it all for a new guy you've never dated. Like I said, complex right? lol... good luck
2007-02-13 03:52:49 · answer #1 · answered by 6kidsANDalwaysFIXINGsomething 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just infatuated with the unknown of a different partner. It's pretty common especially when you've been with the same person for a long time. It's ok to have fantasies about other people, just don't act on them. If you love your "unofficial fiance", then you won't throw it away for a guy that you aren't even involved with.
2007-02-13 03:53:21 · answer #2 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a big step, and considering that you two have a child together, that's a lot of pressure on both of you that things work out.
Not to diminish your feelings, but what you may be feeling for this other guy may be nothing more than just cold feet ... or maybe a sign that you don't feel ready to be married yet. It doesn't mean you don't love your boyfriend, it just means that you're not ready, which is okay. It's better to wait until you are ready than to rush into things and have them not work out. Try and figure out what about marriage that you don't feel ready for ... being with one man, not having had the chance to date more?
If, however, you feel strongly about starting something with this other guy, you have to ask yourself what's better for me and for my daughter? Because once you're a parent, it's never "I", it's always "we" and unfortunately, what's best for "we" is not always what's best for "me". Is this man worth risking your relationship with your boyfriend for? (Because your boyfriend may not understand you wanting to try things out with this other guy) Will this man be a good person to have in your daughter's life? Will he be a good father figure (not to displace her real dad, but essentially he'll be the guy who will be around when she's with you, filling that role)?
I wish you the best of luck with everything.
2007-02-13 03:58:29 · answer #3 · answered by roll_dice_nicely 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was a movie like this...can't remember the name of it..but a woman had a baby boy with this guy, then told the father she didnt love him. So he left to give her space, she tried to get with this other guy she liked, then realised the other guy was a complete loser. Then she realised she'd loved the father of her son all along and it being a movie, he took her back, they lived happily ever after.
Of course, it's just a movie, but hope it helps in getting u to decide how you really feel about each guy. Good luck!
2007-02-13 04:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by Lily 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my eyes, there is not any particular why to be engaged. many people do it many diverse approaches. that is all about what works for the persons in contact. For my husband and that i, we suggested wanting to be married (associates of ours had basically gotten engaged, and that i suggested some thing alongside the strains of, "So, do you imagine which will ever be us?" and the subsequent weekend we were searching at earrings!). We did not evaluate ourselves engaged till he proposed to me. i'd were satisfied to be engaged without a hoop, yet he needed to be more beneficial classic. considering we both owned a house mutually in the previous we were given engaged and that i'm fairly self sufficient, he did not experience the want to ask my mom and father for his or her "permission" (plus i'm no longer close with my father). I knew that he had offered the ring, yet did not understand how or at the same time as he grow to be going to propose. He did a very sweet wonder concept that ended with him on one knee, asking me to delight marry him. he does no longer enable me placed the ring on till I suggested certain. Then we seen ourselves engaged. in the U. S., there is not any legality in contact with being engaged - marriage is at the same time as legality comes into play. lengthy tale short, a pair is seen engaged at the same time as they opt for that is actual. For some people that is classic, for others that is basically as you position it - "ok, sweet, we are engaged now."
2016-12-04 03:17:14 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
watever you do don't let the one you love go because this guy you have a crush on might not be what your expecting but also if you have feeling for this other guy you should tell that guy and your bf because you're not going to be able to keep that a secret the rest of your life or even if you'll get married so you should let your bf know and let the other guy know
2007-02-13 03:52:00 · answer #6 · answered by zorin l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
learn to control your temptations..
for your daughters sake if not for yours...
2007-02-13 03:49:05 · answer #7 · answered by roy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋