Why shouldn't I KILL MYSELF?

Question

My husband abandoned me and the kids but the judge has ordered that he have them half of the time. I want to see my kids daily. I am thinking of running away with them but them I will get caught and end up in jail and he will have them all of the time. I can't kill him because then a stanger will end up with my kids. This has been going on a year and I can't continue to be this sad. I go to counseling and I take meds but that is not really helping. Life just sucks. Why continue?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your problems and I'm glad you're asking for help here because it means you plan to think things through and, since you're a mom who loves her children, that means once you think it through, you won't kill yourself.

Here are a few things to think about:
Who would find you and what would it do to their life?
What will it do to your children?
Why do you want your kids/friends/family to feel like they failed you for the rest of their lives?
Are you selfish enough to take the easy way out knowing it will burden the people you love for their whole lives?

My cousins husband killed himself. He was found by his wife and his kids when his kids were 2 and 5. Both kids (now 20 and 23) have had life long problems. One turned to drugs and sex and the other buried herself in sadness and self hatred. My cousin had both girls in counselling for many years but no one could convince them that it wasn't their fault that their dad died. His mom turned to alcohol because she was sure that she should/could have done something to stop him. His sister fell into a depression that lasted about 6 years during which she gained more than 80 lbs and now has health problems.
He killed himself to solve a temporary problem he'd gotten himself into. Sadly, my cousin was left behind to clean up his financial mess and to deal with the pain he caused everyone who blamed themselves.

Imagine if he had continued dealing with his problems instead of burdening everyon else with them. His daughters wouldn't have had to deal with pain/guilt/depression all their lives. His sis & mom would be different people now. All the people he loved would have had better lives. No suicide EVER made the lives of those left behind better... I promise you that. If you kill yourself, no one will be happy. You won't be teaching you ex-husband a lesson. You'll only be solving a very temporary problem with a solution that will devastate your children.

Continue for your kids
Continue because even though you can't see any light right now, it will get better.

A year seems like a lifetime in your circumstances but it's just a small part of your whole life.

Keep on with counselling and the meds and fight to leave the darkness. Living is so worthwhile but you can't get to the best of your life until you pass through the worst.

Make the days you have your kids a thing to live for... and get through the days you don't have them. Don't run away because if it's bad now when you only have half custody, losing custody will be impossible. The thoughts of killing your ex have to stop because he is your children's father and you love your children.

You were strong enough to come here to talk about it... be strong enough to fight through this, for you and your children.

Answer 2

Listen, your baby isn't even aware of anything at this point. It can't be scared and will have no concept or understanding of even existing. Yes you're too young to have a child, especially if you can't raise or take care of it, but killing yourself does nothing. Since you believe in god and heaven why not just wait and live your life until you die of natural causes? You'll be with it eventually regardless. Honestly it sounds like you're really not thinking clearly and need some help. Talk to someone ASAP.

Answer 3

Because killing yourself doesnt solve anything and you will scar your children for life. Stop being so self centered and try to do the best you can with what you've been given get a part time or full time job. Make the most of every moment you spend with your children. I am speaking from experience. My husband took our son from me and I was crazy for the time he was away from me but I never considered killing myself because my son needed his mother for whatever time I was there for him. Try calling them every night after dinner for a nice positive talk about their day. Reassure them that you love them. Dont do the i miss you so much I can't live without you type thing it will not only look bad on you it will hurt your kids. Maybe you need a better counselor or maybe get into a support group with other parents in similar situations. Good luck and hang in there

Answer 4

Because God doesn't put you through more than you can bare. Stop being so selfish thinking about your problems, think about your kids and what would they do without their mom? You have to stay sain for THEM, not for you. They need you!
If you continue with this 'life sucks' attitude your life will just get worse. YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE. That's right, you have the brain power to decide when you wake up in the morning that you will enjoy your day no matter what happens. You are a strong woman who can take care of herself and her kids, and you can do it with your ex-husband laughing in your face at you. Don't let your head turn to the left or to the right, you keep your face straight ahead and you keep going! When you start feeling weak again, pray! Besides, NO ONE can make you feel bad without your permission!

Answer 5

The easiest answer to give you is think how your kids would feel. If this is the way you feel then imagine how your kids must feel. this must be just as hard for them and they will prob look forward to the time that they spend with you. if u r no longer there then where does that leave them. I'm sure that u can speak to your kids everyday so use that as your satrting point and move forward from there.
It must be terrible not to see your children everyday and i really feel for you, but you are a mum and to do that job well u actually have to be around. I don't want to make u feel worse but killing yourself would be the most selfish thing u could possibly do, easing your own pain but creating endless heartache for your children.
Have strength and speak to somebody pl.

Answer 6

Please get some counseling. There are resources available in your city/county/state. Just look in the Yellow Pages or go on line. Try to eat right and get enough rest and exercise. Do you have a support system in place? Any friends or family?

You'll be okay...remember Time Wounds All Heels!

Answer 7

Because your life has value.

Because God gave you life and it is not yours to take. Jesus died for you, turn to HIM. He has the strength you need to keep going. Call out to God for the forgivness of your sins and he will not abandon you. Visit a local church and seek help from the pastor.

Because your children need their mother. They are a gift that you need to cherish and think about above your own well being. They love you unconditionally and so does God. Don't sentence your precious children to a life of heartache by abandoning them by killing yourself.

Answer 8

no, you dont want to kill yourself, as much as you love your kids, think about how much that would hurt them. they need you!
let their father have them half the time so that they can have a relationship with him too. before you know it they will be grown and have kids of their own. you have a whole life time with them. enjoy it. get yourself a boyfriend!

Answer 9

oh, honey if i can live through the crap thats happened to me and not done anything to harm myself you should be fine think of your children you would be sending them a terriable message,untill you get in a better frame of mind you should let you ex- keep the kids because you cant be doing any loving or nurturing for your kids -------seek help for depression

Answer 10

because if you cop out your husband wins, your kids won't have you to turn to if they need you. think long and hard lady, it took TWO to make them didn't it? Why shouldn't he have rights too? Stop being so selfish and start thinking about your kids needs.