I am getting married later this year and I'm trying to figure out my wedding party. The problem is, I have three sisters, and my fiancée has two sisters. Two of my sisters are married and used us (the three other sisters) and their husbands' sisters as bridesmaids. Because of this, I feel obligated to do the same. I feel like I will hurt my family's feelings if I do not do this. However, this already leaves me with FIVE bridesmaids, and pretty much no room for any of my childhood friends. I have been in a few of their weddings, too, and would like for them to be in mine...but I would ideally like less than five bridesmaids.
Any suggestions? I feel that no matter who I choose to be in my wedding party, I will end up hurting SOMEONE.
2007-02-13 03:20:47 · 19 answers · asked by corazonheart83 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
All of my sisters have expressed interest in being bridesmaids, as have my fiancée's sisters. I am very close to his sisters! They are more like my own than "sisters-in-law"
2007-02-13 03:37:50 · update #1
This is probably one of those situations where family comes first, especially since you're close to them. Believe it or not, your friends will change over the years (yes, even childhood friends) but your family will ALWAYS be your family.
There's also no law limiting the number of bridesmaids you have either. I understand not wanting more than 5, but if you'd also like to honor a couple of your dear friends by asking them to stand up with you as well, I don't see anything wrong with it. Your fiance does NOT have to have an equal number of groomsmen either.
You can also ask those close friends to play different roles, you can ask them to do readings in the wedding, or things of that nature.
Remember you are blessed in that you have so many people in your life who love you and you love in return. Many don't have that. Congrats and best of luck to you!
2007-02-13 04:12:22 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what someone will be hurt. I'm going through this myself - it's very hard! What I'm doing is giving all the people that I couldn't include in the wedding party a little job - which has made them still feel like they are a part of everything and I've also given them a gift with a little note saying how they've helped make our day amazing and it couldn't have been done without their help. Those girls who you weren't able to include will understand and feel good about at least having apart in your wedding, even if it wasn't being a bridesmaid.
2007-02-13 03:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you pretty much have to use your sisters. Talk to your fiancee abou this sisters...is he even close to them. Maybe you could sit down and talk to them and explain that you are running shor ton bridesmaids spots and there were a lot of weddings you were in and you would like to return the favor to those people. Say that they mean a lot to you and you are excited to be a part of thier family and what do they think is the best way for them to feel a part of this special day. They may not want to spend the big bucks being a bridesmaid.
Maybe they can throw your bridal shower/bachelorette party for you
They could do readings during the wedding (if they are doing that sort of thing at your wedding)
Try to think of a special thing or title they can have so they know you want them involved and it isnt a snub not asking them to be bridesmaids.
If they reallyw ant to be bridesmaids then you might very well be stuck.
Just dont ask them to be mistress of cerimonies...it is a sucky job and the person doesnt really get to enjoy the day. Make thier role fun!
2007-02-13 03:33:39 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your sister's be your bridesmaids, and then have your fiance's sister do something else during the wedding. Perhaps you can make them readers during the ceremony, or have them do a special toast to their brother at the reception.
There is no law that says you absolutely have to include your finance's sister in your wedding. You are more obligated to include your own first; in addition, I think it is very important to include your childhood friends. They have known you much longer then your fiance's sisters, and I'm sure you have a lot of special memories with them.
Have your fiancee speak with them, and explain that HE wants them to have a special part in the wedding. Maybe he can tell them, that he doesn't want them hidden away with the bride, getting their makeup and hair done before the wedding; but rather with him getting ready for the special moment. Being a bridesmaid may limit the time they get to spend with him before the big moment.
2007-02-13 03:38:49 · answer #4 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps somebody else can lower back me up, yet i think of that youthful lady decrease than age sixteen would desire to be a junior bridesmaid truly of a bridesmaid. maximum junior bridesmaids i've got seen are between the a protracted time of 10 and 15, although some are as youthful as 8 and others are as previous as sixteen or 17. Junior bridesmaid is definitely an acceptable place for a fifteen-twelve months-previous.
2016-09-29 01:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really it's not an obligation to have someone in your bridal party. I was a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding but that doesn't mean my sister in law is going to be in mine. I actually would have preferred not to be in her wedding. I tried to help and she never seemed to need it and I felt a little out of place since I was not one of her close friends.
Honestly you will probably not hurt a sister in law's to be feelings, they probably know that you have friends that you would rather have standing up there.
Ask the people you really want to be in your wedding, and if hurt feelings do come up then address them as they come and explain to the in-laws to be why you did what you did. Unless they are cold and heartless they will understand.
2007-02-13 05:10:44 · answer #6 · answered by Me, again 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you could make one or two of the married sisters your matron of honor. then the rest normal bridesmaids. i really don't see a problem with all of them being in your wedding. it just depends on how many you want and how many groosmen your husband to be will have. and as far as hurting people... if you choose to only have a few of them be bridesmaids why not ask the others to help in other aspects of the wedding. i had my best friend serve punch for awhile so she felt like she was doing something to help. she lives really far away so it was hard to get a dress for her, but she enjoyed serving punch. i also had someone else cut the cake for me so they felt included. those are all very important parts of your wedding/reception so i'm sure they wouldn't mind doing that instead... just include them the best you can.
2007-02-13 04:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember..this is YOUR wedding and you can do whatever you want. If you are closer to your sisters and sisters-in-law than your childhood friends, choose them. You are not obligated to have family be in the wedding party and because they had you in theirs you are not obligated to return the favor. There are other jobs they can do and ways they can participate in the wedding besides being bridesmaids.
I don't think they should have pressured you but saying they are interested in being in the wedding. Do what YOU want...no one has a right to be upset they aren't in the wedding.
2007-02-13 03:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by Elizabeth C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask them if they really want to be a bridesmaid..the wedding or even reception. You might need help with the guest book,serving,decorating etc.. Ask your sisters if they wouldnt mind heling out that way.. Good luck!
2007-02-13 03:55:30 · answer #9 · answered by Rain32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should ask your family first. You can have more than 5 bridesmaids (I had eight!) - there's nothing wrong with that.
Otherwise, ask your friends to do readings, take the gifts up during mass, sing, read prayers of intention, etc - so they're still a part of the ceremony.
2007-02-13 03:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋