Are we placing too much responsibility on our young children? Are current parents placing too much pressure on their children to excel beyond their piers? Are parents doing this for their children or for themselves?
2007-02-13 03:11:07 · 20 answers · asked by Lauretta R 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes some parents do and society at times seems to think that a well rounded person for college has to have great grades, played team sports, volunteered for civic duties, played an instrument, and at least 3 other hobbies, interests, etc. Too many video & computer games, too much online time rather than true social skills. Driven from one activity to another plus homework and it is late to bed and up before dawn.
Reality check please. Children need time to imagine and downtime to explore. I've always let my kids do an activity if they wanted to do it. Once they committed to it, they were finishing it for that time period. No more that one or two at a time since school is not allowed to suffer. The other thing is I need my down time too. That doesn't happen if I am running them both in six directions all week plus working. Most of their friends are doing four or five things a week so it does make it bad when no one is around to just 'play'.
There is time enough for the demands of the world and schedules as they move into college and the work force. The demands change as they hit high school and the lessons begin but there is no reason to start this at 5 years old.
Just my opinion
2007-02-13 03:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by Margaret K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think so, especially in the suburbs, where I live. Kids are overwhelmed with sports, school, clubs, always pressured to succeed. Being in elementary and middle school, I always felt really inferior to my peers, since I was never involved in multiple activities. These activities apparently were getting those around me much more praise, but in my opinion it has stunted them from being an individual, and causes them to rely on their skills and long term activities as to what makes them FEEL wholesome. Now, being in highschool, I think I am correct. The same kids balancing a full schedule in elementary school are now juggling AP, CP and HONORS classes, while taking and attempting to master all the things they were brought up doing ie. dance, karate, instruments. Some of these things, they never wanted to do in the first place, but have just grown to accept and enjoy because they have been forced to do them for so many years. And to think some of these kids are only 14 or 15, and are already used to a life of constantly being occupied.
I think parents are genuinely doing it, for the most part, because they want to see their kids happy and successful, which is what a lot of parents didn't grow up with- that motivation. Of course, a part of them, for a few parents at least, probably has to do with their own pride. You know how you run into parents and all they talk about is their son/daughter's accomplishments? Some parents just like having bragging rights, although thats usually never the source of their efforts to have such a workaholic child...
2007-02-13 03:19:33 · answer #2 · answered by JaHannah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes to all of your questions. Children need to be allowed to be children-within boundaries. There is a time for play, eating, sleep, school work, etc. There should always be time for a child to just kick back and relax-not have to do anything. Like after their chores around the house (keeping their rooms clean) are done, after being outside playing all morning. Stuff like that. And, in school, get their homework done right after school, with a snack. Yes, parents need to relax. Not put all this pressure on their children. Take care.
2007-02-13 03:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a general rule, yes.
Many parents have very unrealistic expectations.
Sports has become a classic where the parents on the sidelines are getting into fights - - - and the kids are pre-teens.
Parents need to get a clue. There are likely no college coaches at the games, the Olympic coach isn't there and there are no pro-scouts there either. The odds of your kid getting a scholarship or a slot on the Olympic team is near zero. Let kids be kids and let them have FUN.
2007-02-15 02:36:08 · answer #4 · answered by Andrew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A child should have ample time to be a child, however it is important that a child does take some extra curricular activities to cultivate friendships and to experience an interest of theirs.
Joining a sports team ,taking musical lesson or other instruction is a good way to socialize a child outside of the school system as well as allow them to grow and developer more skills and of course to have fun. As long as activity is not impeding upon studies or the ability of the child to maintain friendship, social time as well as personal time then the child is fine.
Parents need to be more in tune to what their children are saying, if the child is feeling overwhelmed then it is time to cut back, however some children thrive in a highly scheduled and structured environment.
2007-02-13 03:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by smedrik 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe these days some parents are trying to make up for what they didn't do or achieve in. I also thinks that some parents are so competetive and they use there children as a way to in some ways be better than the next person. I personally think let your children be their own person!
2007-02-13 03:16:28 · answer #6 · answered by kaelynnsmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some cases, our children are over-scheduled. It is a fine balance in my opinion.
I feel it is important to let children have "down-time" where they are doing their own thing, so they can learn to cope with stress.
I don't think we should put too much responsibility on a child, but every child is different.
The bottom line is that your child is growing and developing every single day, and if you know your child well, you will know how much responsibilty your child can take on, and you will know when to give them their down time to de-stress.
2007-02-13 03:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent, anything you do that will benefit the child is good for that child. How could a parent hope to gain from the advanced learning's of their children? It's like the old saying "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger" Just because the responsibilities are put on the child, it doesn't mean they have to do it if they can't.
If you don't like to challenge your child's ability, that's fine but they won't get the best of what is offered them when they grow up.
2007-02-13 03:19:39 · answer #8 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm still a teen but I think you're right and not just because I'm a teen. My parents place so much pressure on me to be better than anyone else in the world! The told us kids that if we get all A's (4.0) they'll give us $50.
2007-02-13 03:15:29 · answer #9 · answered by belladonna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that parents are doing well to put so much responsibility on their children. Today's world is changing so much that you really need to know how to take care of business. If children were not taught responsibility, they would end up having problems later in life.
2007-02-13 03:16:06 · answer #10 · answered by Michael n 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋