How do you stop an 18-month old that screams and yells all the time?

Question

My son is 18 months...he doesn't talk hardly at all (Doc says he is fine...just the 3rd child that has older siblings to talk for him). He just screams and yells for everything. Even just for his milk..he'll point to it and scream. I've tried whispering to him, telling him no, putting him to bed, even lightly spanking him with a no. He just screams louder. We can't go to restaurants anymore because he'll get done eating and start screaming. I know he is spoiled, but I'm at my wits end. Please help.

Answer 1

You conditioned this in him, or he's got a touch of autism. Either way, this question might be best answered by his doctor. Keep him calm and playing, and bring in other children that DON'T scream. On your end, you can tell him he's using the Outside Voice (at first) -- but please don't hit him, or coddle him. Either extreme is worse then what's happening now (it's just noise). Calmly show him the way.. and the older siblings have to show patience and make "ssssssshhhhhhhhhhh!" signs etc. etc. to reinforce the new behavior.

Answer 2

There are so many factors as to why he's doing it. He is becoming more independent but doesn't have the language skills to express what he wants/needs and you aren't picking up on everything he wants/needs, which is very frustrating to an innately impatient and demanding 18-month old. He is discovering his language and all the sounds and noises his mouth is capable of making. He is not doing it on purpose, he's just experimenting. Also, the fact that there is a new baby in the house is affecting him greatly. His whole world has changed and he's reacting. Please be extra patient with him. At 18 mos. he is too young to understand complex thoughts like "baby is sleeping, therefore you must be quiet because loud noise will wake baby up." Depending on the child, 18 mos could even be too young to understand inside voice/outside voice. Use baby's nap time to spend some quality time with your son. I know you have lots to do, but spend 1/2 hour reading with him, building blocks, puzzles, go out in the backyard to play, etc. If he gets 100% of your attention for a little while, he might just be quiet enough and cooperative enough to let you get some chores done before baby wakes up. Good luck!

Answer 3

My daughter went through this phase and still does the same thing once in a while but this really helped ease her:

Cover your ears with your hands and say something like,
"Ow! That screaming hurts my ears!"

18 months is also a fine age to start timeouts. One minute for every year of their age is the rule. Just make sure you pick a spot where there is no toys or tv for him. (facing the corner worked for my two) You will also need to let him know why he is going into timeout and after the minute is done have a quick talk with him and teach him that saying sorry is the first step.

Good luck! ;)

Answer 4

Do NOT respond to him by giving him what he wants whenever he does this - even if it's for his milk. When he does it, say firmly & lovingly "I love you, but I am not going to ________ until you can ask without screaming, because that is not loving behavior." Then stick to it. If it means he has to scream for awhile - so be it. He will be fine - just maybe get a sore throat. You will also have to tell his older siblings to STOP doing his talking for him. You may have to do this several times for several days, and it WILL be hard on you emotionally, but if you don't put a stop to it NOW, it will only get worse as he gets older. Once he realizes he can't get your attention with that behavior anymore, he'll stop.

Answer 5

When he screams for something...does he get what he wants? If so...he's just going to keep doing it. You've given him positive reinforcement for this behavior.

Everyone in the house has to "not" give him what he wants if he screams for it. And you have to be firm about it. No backsliding!! If he points at something and makes a quiet noise...fine...but if he screams no way.

He is not too young to understand that this is absolutely unacceptable behavior. You could try putting him to bed whenever he screams so that the associates screaming with a negetive outcome. (I think I've read that some experts discourage this becasue they say kids shouldn't associate bed time negetively...that's up to you. My kids never liked bed time no matter how nice I tried to make it.).

But the biggest thing is being consistent....don't do a whole lot of different things and don't have daddy doing one thing, mommy doing another and then the older siblings doing something else.

Good luck!!

Answer 6

you have to set a boundry, you said no you mean no. Untill he asks for it not yelling he doesnt get it. Period. Dont give in. If he starts screaming in public remove him from the situation, go out to the car or something till he stops screaming= i know this also may sound harse but a spanking now and then is completely acceptable.

Answer 7

I'd start with not giving him anything he wants unless he uses an "inside voice". Easier said than done, but some one on one time with Mom and Dad might be in order. You could set aside "X" time every weekend where one parent stays with the other 2, while the other takes jr. by himself.

After that, I'd highly recommend that you get professional help. Ask your pediatrician for a reference to a counselor for this type of situation.

Answer 8

"The screaming test"! Ah what fun! NOT!
I went through the same thing with my daughter and my cousins kids, and they are testing you. They want to see what it takes for you to just get what they want. Make him tell you what he wants instead of pointing. Then tell him that your not going to talk to him while hes screaming cause you cant dont know what he wants.

Or you could put him in his room and close the door. *tell him when he stops screaming he can come out and play.* while your outside on the porch. lol

Or maybe hes cutting a tooth. ??

Patients is a virtue. Good Luck!
♥

Answer 9

My husand's response is "He'll stop you've just got to ride it out". The thing is not to respond when it happens. When everything goes fine, you fall over him with praise. The more attention he gets from the screaming the more he wants to do it. My husband just said "I'm sorry to say, it's like dog training. They should only get positive reinforcement. Any reaction positive or negative to undesireable behavior will reinforce it." We don't know if this helps but it's one of those stages. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

My son did this too. I used to tell him in a calm voice that 'screaming makes mummy upset and I will not give you what you want until you ask nicely', he would still scream at first but it didn't take him long to realise i meant business and he had to give in or he would get nothing. When you tell him, turn away and ignore him completely, I assure you he will get the picture!