I met a beautiful lady who I spent some valuable time with. She has a burden that she carries from her childhood into the present that her family members are trapped in Fundamentalist Christianity. She had a death in the family and went home to attend the funeral. Since she has been back she is a totally different person. She has rebuked my friendship, lied to herself and her mother saying that she is considering gettimg back into the church. She has (by her own admission) no intention to join the "cult" (her description of her families religious beliefs). She has told me that the one thing she hates most in people is not being truthful. She chooses to tell her mother that she is "going back to the religion" to avoid the confrontation. I choose that it is in my best interest to move on with my life and not live a lie as her friend. She has told me that she has remained with me to "figure me out." I am not a guinea pig and will not be the subject of her study. Am I right?
2007-02-13 02:54:14 · 6 answers · asked by Lab Rat 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You are right to get away if you don't think your relationship was strong enough to wait for her to figure herself out. Religions can really mess people up.It has probably been one of the biggest killers of relationships.If it's not religion it's politics or culture or something else. Since time began folks have been "taking sides" and don't always have good reasons for doing so.I find that I have to weigh out the good & bad(in my opinion) and figure out if there is enough reason to remain in contact with a particular person.Sounds selfish but ya gotta love yourself at least a little before loving others is possible. I've been taught to Love everyone but have learned that you can love someone, but don't need to let them continue to abuse you. I think they call that boundries. If you pray then pray for her, if not then maybe just Hope that she can sort thru all the garbage that's been presented to her while she decides for herself who to hang out with or believe.
having said all that,I have been "labled" a fundamentalist. but that was by my catholic aunt,who's opinion of me doesn't really matter to me much. Folks also get caught up in labeling, I think it makes it easier for them to "take sides" when they can't find enough real reasons to stand for what they really believe.
2007-02-13 03:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by 5thof11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my she sounds young and is finding her path. She has probably never been very far away from her church in her heart but is experimenting with life. Almost all young women think that they can change a man. Like the joke says, "the only way you can change a man is if he is in diapers". lol Sounds like she is telling both you and her mom what you want to hear but has not fully made up her own mind yet. When I was young I would run like mad from relationships as I was not yet ready for it. It seems after a week the guys were ready to propose so I had to get out. Be patient and do not blame religion because I imagine it has more to do with her finding out about herself and what she really believes. She is going to choose her faith or choose the world. If you are part of the worldly stuff then you will not be in the picture except as an ego builder. I could be totally wrong though...I don't really know the situation. Perhaps with the death she faced her own mortality and got more serious about life. Perhaps the person you are seeing now is the real person. There are just too many variables. I wish you well. Mmm PS Scriptures tell us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that we have at least one talent. It also tells us that we are to love others as we love ourself so if we are full of self-hatred it would be totally impossible to love anyone else. Have a happy and blessed day. Mmm
2007-02-13 12:29:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as though the trouble is a major bout of depression over the death she went home for, not a religion. Get her help before she does someting stupid to herself. YBIC
2007-02-13 11:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How in the world can you blame this on the Fundamentalist Church when she herself stated she wants no part of it......
Sounds to me like there is more to this than meets the eye.
2007-02-13 10:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by williamzo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah you should just leave her to herself as she isn't a real friend to beign with she even admitted to using you to get insight into you so basically you were her guinea pig i'm sorry to hear that man
2007-02-13 11:05:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this really have anything to do with religion, or is she just either depressed or a nutcase?
You should move on.
2007-02-13 11:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋