Well, my fiance´s best friend is her ex boy friend, and that fact is driving me crazy. My fiance tells me that she never thought about him seriously and that she loves me very much, but she still talk with him on the phone, meet to drink a coffee, etc.
At first it was Ok for me but now I can´t sleep wondering what would happen if my fiance and I fight? Would she run to her best friend´s arms and cheat on me? So now I´m not sure if I wanna marry her after all. Please help me guys..
2007-02-13 02:52:25 · 25 answers · asked by rod 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
let it go... and stop being so paranoid.
2007-02-13 02:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
To be honest, this sounds like something you should have worked out with your fiance a long time ago. Yes, you do need to be worried that YOU are not the one she runs to. While I do believe that there should be a level of trust that allows your future wife to hang out with other dudes, even if they are from her past, her ex-boyfriend having that "bff" title can definitely be troubling. Have you let her know how you feel about this? Or better yet, does her ex know how you feel about this whole thing? I would be very cautious especially if she and this guy were serious. I can understand if she was best friends with the guy for a long time, like from childhood, and they dated and it didn't work out, but they remain friends. But if they didn't have that type of friendship first, then her relationship with him is inappropriate.
2007-02-13 03:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by hcps_boxer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been there before. She never cheated on me but there was always a bit of doubt as to what would happen. Ultimately everyone's different. Maybe their relationship is completely platonic but you will never know for sure. If you're having second thoughts because of this situation you really do need to bring it up fully with her. It's going to drive you mad if you don't especially after your married. Don't wait until it's too late. Have you met this guy or does she keep him away from you?
2007-02-13 03:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by Land Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first if you dont know if you want to marry her, then dont. At least wait until you are sure. Theres not much you can do about her being friends with her ex. If you tell her not to, you will only push her away, and make her mad. You cant really tell her what to do. I will say this though. All the guys I ever dated and then remained friends with disappeared from my life when I met the man I married. I chose to stop speaking to them out of respect for my boyfriend (now husband) Dont expect many girls to do this though.
2007-02-13 02:57:06 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♫♥ Crystal ♥♫♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough, tough situation. I really don't think you should re-think marrying her just because of it, are there other issues? I would discuss it with her though, and let her know how you feel. Tell her just what you said. Typically, opposite-sex friendships are bad news for marriages.
One thing you could insist on, and I think reasonably so, is that he becomes your friend as a couple. In other words, he can't be her confidant (that's your job) and the one on one meetings really shouldn't be happening. You can get together with him as a couple though.
If she resists that, find out why. If she gets angered easily over it, perhaps you do need to re-think things.
2007-02-13 02:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy but am in kind of a similar situation. There are no guarantees in life. Your fiance has agreed to marry you, loves you, wants to make a lifelong commitment, I would say thats pretty awesome. My b/f still contacts his ex girlfriends, has no guy friends, and it boils down to trust. I love him and want to give this a chance. He tells me its not like that and all I can do is trust him and hope he is not out to hurt me. She has made a choice to commit to you for life, dude thats as good as it gets. I would believe in her, and talk to her, see if you can get invited along when she meets her ex, so you are more comfortable with this arrangement! Trust her! After all we have to trust the one closest to us and hope that they have your heart protected!
2007-02-13 03:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man thats a real tough one....Damn thats a tough one...sounds like a major headache. Don't wanna hurt you, cause I've been through similar... I had a girlfriend that went to a different school as me a few years back. She told me that she had a guy friend, and they were just friends, someone to talk to while at school. Meanwhile she told me she loved me, blah, blah , blah. She started sleeping with the dude behind my back, and I had to get the info from a friend of hers, meanwhile she's still telling me she loves me wants to be with me, but she started disappearing. Your girl may not be like that, this chick was evil man... my suggestion, you tell her that if she wants to be with you, and even more MARRY you, that she needs to cut this dikkhead go...100%. theres no reason for the chick to have this guy as a friend. You know he's still trying to hit it (I know it hurts hearing that), and she may not be givin it to him...but If she loves you then she'll do it...There's billions of other people, better yet women, for her to make friends with. If not, be strong, pull out, and don't get back to that shitt till she proves without a shadow of a doubt that he's gone forever....fukk that. (my bad, but it hit close to home)
2007-02-13 03:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by maneone22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/JzqIQ
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-23 19:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her just what you told us. That's the best way to handle the situation, she's your fiance and you're supposed to trust each other. I understand exactly how you are feeling, it is kind of weird that she's keeping him around, but it could be noting. So just inform her of your feelings. The 2 of you will eventually argue and us women do usually run to our best friends for comfort!
2007-02-13 02:59:34 · answer #9 · answered by 20 and lovin' it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worry! Not a good situation...
You have to trust her - but I would not get married while this thing continues... They have history together - and its not over completely... they are hanging on to some part of the relationship.
Make SURE - be confident and trusting before you move forward with her!!!
You have to look out for your interests
2007-02-13 02:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by Slim Jim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to learn to show your fiance a little trust. girls who go out with guys and then break up and become best friends usually means that they see the guy as a brother figure and will never go any further then that (hence why they are not together now) if you are about to marry this woman you need to learn to talk to her (nicely and calmly) and explain how you feel about the situation. (love, trust and honesty)
She might understand and start falling away from her friend, but you can't force her away from her best friend. girls have guys best friends so that they can get advice and vice versa. This guy might actually be helping her out with your relationship (not tearing it apart)
so have a talk with her and meet her best friend, he might even become your new friend.
2007-02-13 03:05:01 · answer #11 · answered by strgazer9113 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋