A Friend of mine is in the same boat as you. I feel for your hurt and anger, we have been talking about the same thing! Basically this guy lives in a different town (Actually ironically where I grew up) and has been seeing my Friend for over 18Months. Now his wife has become suspicious he has cut her off, and thinks that she cant find out where he lives, she is really hurt, one day he is saying he loves her and the next day wont answer her calls or talk with her! It is not nice. Part of me agrees that she should tell his wife, as why should she be the only one to suffer? and him go back to normality and play happy families until the next affair comes along! But then on the other hand they both knew what they were doing when they started the affair! I am a great beliver in what goes around comes around! He will get his just deserts! At the moment I have advised my Friend and now you to take a back step, sort yourself out then think what you want to do, so that if you do decide to tell the wife, when you do it your doing occupying a higher moral ground than just doing so to lash out of your pain. Remember not only will you hurt him, but you will hurt the wife as well, and she is innocent in all of this.
Good luck and I hope things work out with you I do sympathise with how you feel.
2007-02-13 02:48:27
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answer #1
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answered by djp6314 4
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If he has had other affairs, his wife probably knows. I know you are really hurt, but revenge is not as satisfying as you would believe. There are two very good sayings about revenge that I like - Living well is the best revenge. One day you will be very happy, healthy, and beautiful - and he will still be unhappy, nasty, and small. Revenge is a dish best served cold. If you do decide you want some kind of revenge, wait until you are not hurt and angry and in the heat of the moment. Then if you still want revenge, plan it carefully and logically.
2007-02-13 02:44:17
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answer #2
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answered by TLBFH 3
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Leave it down to Karma. Don't become a home-wrecker.
If his wife is still around perhaps she already knows and chooses not to say anything. Perhaps she is also having her own affairs on the side. You never know.
Perhaps there is an entire other side to the story that you just don't know.
I definitely would not take it upon myself to tell his wife. Weather you love for him was real or not it is definitely not your place to point fingers. You feel for a married man and knew it was wrong too. Just like he knew he was married and wrong to lead you on.
I would take it as a huge grain of salt and consider it a major love learning experience. Move on and find a real, SINGLE, man who is more deserving of your time!
2007-02-13 02:42:58
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answer #3
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answered by Miss. Persephone 2
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Leave it to Karma, his wife may well forgive him and then you would be a bad guy. If she does throw him out what have you gained? His wife will be heart broken, does he have kids? Do you want to break his family up for no reason? He sounds like a total rat, he will get what he deserves one day.
2007-02-13 02:52:39
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answer #4
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answered by monkienutz 5
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You want revenge on the husband not the wife. It is morally right to tell her but not for revenge. If the man already has affairs before, then it has been too long since the wife knew. If you don't tell her, someone else would.
I recommend that you tell the wife but iff you do tell her, do it because it is right, not for your endeavour, otherwise you are sinking to his level.
Be prepared.
Good luck.
2007-02-13 02:47:23
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Leave it to Karma. Karma always pays people back for nasty behaviour.Just feel sorry for the poor wife she's still stuck with him. He'll do it again and again and you are free. Lucky you he did you a big favour.Don't bother telling her she probably already knows and if she doesn't well why hurt her. She hasn't done anything to you .Remember Karma!
2007-02-13 02:46:48
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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You should ask yourself a couple of questions before you act:
1) What do you hope to acheive by doing this? If it is just revenge, will it change how you think about the situation, and
2) Do you expect the guy to leave his wife and get back with you? If so, think about how he would feel about YOU-wouldn't he just end up resenting you?
Either way, anger is our way of protecting ourself from emotions that might make us feel more vulnerable or distressed. If you just want to get your own back, then you may find the results fall way short of your expectations!
Hope this helps.
2007-02-13 02:57:25
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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This is a difficult one because if they have children it will effect them as well if mum and dad separate over this!
If not, write her a letter and let her know where he has been on the days or nights he was with you, i think she has a right to know the truth and sometimes its better to be cruel in order to be kind, it might take her a while to be grateful for the information but no one likes to live a lie, especially when that lie is happening to them without their knowledge!
2007-02-13 02:48:05
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answer #8
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answered by blue 2
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The final answer is up to u. would u want your husbands GF to tell you he was haveing an affair and promised to leave you for her??
if so skip to page 102. if not go to page 3.
Page 102. you confronted your husband at the kitchen table and knowing that you have him cornored asks for anouther chance. you tell him you will think about it and make him sleep on the couch for weeks. do you give him anouther chance and hope to save your once happy marrage or do you divorce him and try to start your life a new?
if i were you id seriously do some thinking about wht you would want to happon if u were on the reverse end of thngs. and how it might affect your life sorry about the story i was trying to share some humor i didnt mean to upset you if i did
2007-02-13 02:45:38
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answer #9
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answered by Deshawn M 2
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No, take it on the chin and use it to learn from.
His relationship with his wife and his affairs are none of your concern and telling his wife will simply prolong your feelings and hurt.
Bet you won't get mixed up wit a married man again.
Move on.
2007-02-13 02:44:09
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answer #10
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answered by RRM 4
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