Isn't it funny how they will still make u roll with laughter??? Common everyone, smile!! Some of the answers are so angry on this site!
2007-02-13 02:27:32 · 17 answers · asked by Nicola V 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what do you call a monkey with a stick of dynomite up its bum?
a BABOOM
2007-02-13 02:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by Phil C 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
"Mommy, I don't want to go to America/Europe!" "Shut up and swim!"
What is a blond doing on her knees in the shop? Looking for the low prices.
Guy with cowboy hat comes on the bus: "I am Cowboy Jimmy. I don't need to buy a ticket." "Oh really?" Says the driver. "Yeah. Cowboy Jimmy already has a monthly ticket."
"The doctor is here." "Tell him to come back some other time. I'm sick now."
"Go water the garden!" "But it's raining!" "No excuses! Take an umbrella!"
"Dad, where is Australia?" "Ask you're mother, she is the one who always cleans up the house."
Two balloons are flying through the desert and one of them shouts: "Watch out! A cactussssssssssss" And the other one replies: "I sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssee."
Two tomatoes are crossing the road and one gets run over by a car. The other one says "Come on, catch up (ketchup)."
Wanted dear or alive: Schrödinger's cat (a physicist's joke)
2007-02-13 04:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Outside a pharmacy, in a busy street, a poor man is
clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not
moving, not twitching a muscle. He was just standing there,
frozen.
The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his
shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter
with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
Assistant repies, "Yes he was. He had a terrible cough and
none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now."
Assistant says, "Sure he does. I gave him a box of our
strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough."
2007-02-13 04:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by sprinting_turtle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man, an intelligent woman and Santa Claus were in a lift with a £20 note on the floor.
Who picked it up?
The man because the other two don't exist!!!
I know I'm a traitor!!!
2007-02-13 03:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
While clearing out his attic, a man found what he thought to be an old string of beads, But just on the off chance be brought them to a local Antique dealer, and found out he was right.
2007-02-13 03:46:11 · answer #5 · answered by edwin4208 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A nomadic palmist gets hold of a passer-by and convinces him to foretell his future, reading his palm. OK, says the man. After a careful scrutiny of the palm, the palmist says, "your future is what you will dream!". Fine, says, the man. As he starts to move, the palmist asks him, "where are you heading for?". The man replies, "to bed, where else?"
2007-02-13 04:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by Farhad C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bloke asked Paddy where the nearest pub is, Paddy says four miles down the road but, if you run its only two!!
You are so right!! Sometimes people are so crabby!!
Tink x
Smiling x
2007-02-13 04:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man walks into a chip shop and ask the server
"Can i have a steak and kidly pie please"
The server replys
"do you means steak and kidney pie"
The man then says
"thats what i said didle i"
lol This joke is soooo stupid but i laugh my **** off every time
2007-02-13 02:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you heard the joke about the butter?
Don't spread it!
Have you heard the joke about the trash can?
It's rubbish!
Why didn't the lump of poo get picked for the football team?
Because it was ****!
2007-02-13 02:31:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q:why did the cow cross the road?
A: cuz the chicken called in sick
2007-02-13 02:58:03 · answer #10 · answered by m.j h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs, in the sea
A. Bob
and
Q. How do you make a snooker table laugh?
A. Put your hand in its pocket and tickle its balls
2007-02-13 02:31:18 · answer #11 · answered by b7jac 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋