Should I say goodbye? We dated for 1.5 years and were friends for 3 years. I havent seen her in a month. It is crazy, from everyday to nothing. She has a new bf and I have no-one. It felt like it was so easy for her to move on and it is so difficult for me still. We had great times, but I think she just wanted more. Is that possible? I find it hard to understand after all we went through. Why is it so hard for me to let go of something that I shouldnt be questioning? I love her still even after she is dating another guy. I dont know how to handle the pain that comes with moving on
2007-02-13 01:45:08 · 20 answers · asked by stephen b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, Stephen. It still hurts huh?
OK. Sometimes it is just the fact that we were the one that was let go, rather than us doing the breakup, that hurts. but it is only the ego that is hurting, not so much the heart. You need to look deeper into the relationship and really see how good it was. You can have 99 bad times, and 1 good, and only remember the one good time. That's what we like to hang on to, but you have to look at the whole picture to see if it was good or bad. When we are let go, we want it back, as we feel we need to fix something. whether it is us or her, something needs repair. I have been in a couple relationships that I wanted out of, but she beat me to it, dumped ME, then I found myself wanting back in!! We would rather dump than be dumped.
So, is it your heart or your ego? If a good/bad list of your relationship concludes more bad about her than good, be glad your out, and feel sorry for the next guy that has to deal with her.
Get out of the house and see the wonders that are out there for us. She may be one, but not THE one.
Hang in there!
2007-02-13 03:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by degroove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you two have broken up, it is most likely that there was something lacking (for her) in your relationship.... That said, it seems as though you still have deep feelings for her (understandable, since you two have known each other for so long and you loved her). To get over her, which is necessary sinceshe has a new bf, I would recommend the following:
1. Store any gifts from her or photos w/ her in a box (to avoid having them be daily reminders of her)
2. Spend more time w/ friends who will cheer you up or at least help you through this rough patch
3. Try seeing other people
4. Do not contact her until your feelings for her have turned back into those for a friend (which, I warn, may not ever happen)
5. Indulge in activities/hobbies that you usually enjoy
Remember. Time is the only real remedy to getting over someone you lost. So try to make yourself happy in small ways, and (hopefully) you'll feel better soon.
2007-02-13 01:59:25 · answer #2 · answered by whattodo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should say goodbye and live your own life and don't waste by thinking about her and if she has moved on so easily then why don't you because she probably was talking to this new guy before the break-up. Even though you had good times with her it's time to let it go there are more females out there who would love you as much as you love them but you'll never know unless you let go.
2007-02-13 01:55:34 · answer #3 · answered by Lady T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in pain. Obviously, she does not feel the same way and has moved on. You really need to as well. Of course with Valentine day tomorrow, you probably feel lonely and little lost. Mingle with friends, buy some new clothe, get have some fun. Do a hobby you have not done since you two were together. Good luck.
Time Changes Everything.
2007-02-13 01:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your talking about. She probably just wasn't happy or maybe she felt like she couldn't be herself in the relationship, you know? Nothing but time can heal your pain unfortunatly. I mean aside from becoming slobering drunk or something. I know what I would do when that happened to me though, several times in fact, was just to get really into something. Like my job or a hobby. I bet people wondered why I was working so much better and harder sometimes than others, but that is why!
2007-02-13 01:51:14 · answer #5 · answered by aboveparrequestrian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this things hurt.
But, hey, why do you want to move on? You know her for a long time. Ever though of competing for her love and attention. Try to wrestle her from her new bf. Who knows? There is still a strong possibly she STILL feels for you. Why let go when you can still go after her? Buck up Mister!
2007-02-13 01:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by Street Smart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be in love with some one who is not there. You might love him but you are not in love with him. Being in love with some one is really different then just loving some one you have to realize that if you was to still be with him the relationship would be worse then what it was. Some things just don't work out. Get up off your butt and find some one that really cares for you.
2007-02-13 01:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always hard to let go. Harder for you because you cared more than she did. You will find someone else. Give yourself time to grieve, which is just what you're doing when you lose someone. Then one day, Bingo, you'll be ready to move on too.
2007-02-13 01:50:37 · answer #8 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should move on. It will only bring you more pain to try and make things work. Once you give them space, maybe in the long run they will come around. (They usualy do). So just give it time and try to keep yourself busy. Go out and have fun.
2007-02-13 01:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some separation before you can be friends again. Do yourself a favor and find other friends and things to do? I know it's painful but anything less will label you a loser and make it more painful.
2007-02-13 01:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by inaru816 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋