I'll tell you jokes if you tell me one, ok?

Question

Here are some jokes:

Sherlock Holmes and Watson decided to go on a camping trip. They decided it was soon time for sleep.
"Watson, look at the billions of stars. What can you deduce from that?" Holmes asked.
"Well," Watson said. "I deduce that are bodies are like tiny insignificant specks in relation to the stars and that humans are merely a tiny part of all creation and matter."
"No you idiot!" Holmes said. "It means someone stole our tent!"

Here's another funny one:

A woman walks onto a bus with her newborn baby in her arms.
"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen in my entire life!" the bus driver said.
The woman grunted and took a seat on the bus.
"That driver just insulted me!" the woman said to a nearby passenger.
"Well, you go tell him off!" the passenger said. "I'll hold your monkey for you."

Answer 1

Member since: June 21, 2006
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Last one tonight?

TWISTED JUNGLE



A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.

The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the crap out of the little rabbit.

The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit. "Lion," they reprimand, "why’d you do that? He was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers, "That little f#@%r has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"

Answer 2

What position do you have to be in to make an ugly kid?
A: Ask your mother.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
A: Christopher Walkin.

A blond, brunette, and redhead sit at the OBGYN to find out the gender of their unborn babies. The brunette says "I was on bottom, that means I'm having a boy." The redhead thinks then says "So, since I was on top I guess that means I'm having a girl." The blond jumps up with an expression of sheer terror and screams "Oh No PUPPIES."

Did you hear of the death of Larry LaPrise? He is a little known celeb, he wrote the Hokey Pokey. He died at the ripe old age of 83.
The worst thing about it, the most traumatizing thing for the family happened when they were putting him in the casket, they put the right leg in....and that's when the whole thing started.

Answer 3

Very funny,seriously I enjoyed it,my father was a Paddy.

Answer 4

Grow your own dope, Plant a man
All men are idiots, I know, I married their king.

Answer 5

bloke goes 2 the doctors he's got a steering wheel stuck in his underpants doctor say's "that looks painfull" bloke say's "it's driving my nuts"

Answer 6

Okay, tell me a joke then I'll tell you one but yours has got to be funny.

Answer 7

lol

Answer 8

HAHAHAHA!!!!