My son is 23 years old and is doing pretty well, and Ive been a single mother all my life raising a 15 yr old daughter and Im having some financial difficulties. I have a bill coming up that I cant pay and I thought of asking him to mail me a loan...I just have a conscience that tells me thats wrong. Parents shouldnt borrow money from their kids, it should be the other way around. Im so confused. What do you think?
2007-02-13 01:16:59 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There's nothing wrong with that. When my mother in law got sick and couldn't work anymore, my husband and I would help her all we could. And even after she got better, we would still help her out, even when she didn't want us to. :) Your son will not look at you as a bad parent for asking for help. More than likely he will be thrilled that he can do something to help you and reward you for always being there when He needed You. The simple fact that you are worried about this shows what a good and concerned parent you are and most likely have always been. :)
2007-02-13 01:24:13 · answer #1 · answered by gypsie_soul06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its fine as long as you pay it back and think of it as a business deal, although interest would be going a bit far. If there has been difficulty in your family before or your son is one of those people who thinks he needn't take care of his mother than I probably wouldn't unless it was urgent and the bill was for something like medical care and certainly not if it were for a fur coat or a luxury car. We all need a hand now and then, and to give him the opportunity to help you out isn't a bad thing, if he refuses, its on him anyway, but I wouldn't go to that well too often.
2007-02-13 09:23:03 · answer #2 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound harsh, but it will help in the long run. Bring up the issue with your son. Ask him for a loan and promise to pay him back. If he agrees, GET IT IN WRITING and BOTH of you sign the contract. With the contract, you keep it civil and it help reduces the risk of emotions getting in the way of the issue!
However, there is a chance he will give you the money as a gift as well. Personally, if my parents or in-laws asked to borrow the money, if I had it, I would give it to them as a gift. Or say "you can pay only half back, the rest is a gift" and we actually write up a brief contract and sign it.
2007-02-13 09:54:21 · answer #3 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
don't feel like this. Everyone goes through rough patches in their lives. Don't you feel it better to borrow that money off your son and pay this bill for your daughters sake? I don't know what this bill is but it needs to be payed so then you don;t get behind in any other bills. Maybe you could also get an extension for time to pay.
Just ask your son. It is ok you know.
2007-02-13 09:39:35 · answer #4 · answered by rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with it. In fact some financial planners say that children should help their parents when they become adults. As a mother you gave the gift of life to your son. There is Nothing wrong with asking for help from your children. Do not feel guilty.
2007-02-13 09:24:39 · answer #5 · answered by E-Razz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with it, as long as you don't make him feel that it is his obligation to let you borrow money after all the years that you've raised him (it doesn't sound like you're doing that, though). If you two have a good relationship, he will probably do it in a heartbeat.
2007-02-13 11:26:11 · answer #6 · answered by Persephone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally do not think it is wrong, you raised him and bought him everything that he needed and sometimes wanted. If you are in a bind and needed some help you shouldn't feel bad to ask him, and he shouldn't be mad that you asked him. I am 23 also and if my mother were to ask me for some money and I had it i would let her have it in a heartbeat!
2007-02-13 09:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I defintely don't think it's wrong. I don't have kids, but I would do whatever I could for my parents and that includes giving them money. When kids become adults I think the relationship (in my own mind) shifts to where parents and their kids are looking out for EACH OTHER. They know I'd anything for them, and I know they'd still do anything for me.
Good luck with everything.
2007-02-13 09:23:08 · answer #8 · answered by doggiemom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it. If there is two things that don't go well in families - it's working together and lending each other money. Save yourself the heartache and headache and go to the bank and get a loan.. that's what they are there for.
2007-02-13 10:01:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since when did mother's have to BORROW money from their kids ? What kind of world is this ? You gave him his life, he should be grateful to you all his life. No amount of money can repay what you did for him, if he has any decency he will look after you, but you can and should ask him for money and why repay ? you are his MOM for god's sake. Can he repay what you did for him ?
2007-02-13 11:48:22 · answer #10 · answered by abhi_in_hsv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋