How do you get a 7 year old to remember?

Question

My son has a ticket with a number on it for a reduced lunch. He has lost it so many times, and the teachers and lunch cashier is getting mad. I've talked with both of them and they tell me that my son doesn't remember to take his H.W. home, he leaves his jacket in school and loses his lunch number a lot. He has lost 3 lunch boxes already this year and now I pack his snacks in a brown paper bag. He has lost 2 good jackets, a hat and gloves.

I have and still do a chart with stars for a good memory to bring things home from school! It's not working! I've talked to the guidence counsler and they suggested the same thing I'm doing, the star chart.

Finanlly my boyfriend just told me "boys will be boys! Just pack him a lunch, or pay the full amount for the school lunch"

My son loves the school lunch, it'll be another dollar a day if I pay the regular amount for school lunch. My son doesn't eat the lunches I make for him.

What do you suggest I do?

Answer 1

get firm! forget the chart!

boys will be boys thats true - my brother is 29 and is still so irresponsible and lazy but it is because my mother baby's him!


what you need to do - is when he forgets something punish him somehow - so that he realizes what hes doing is wrong ... by not punishing him - you are spoiling him ... the reason hes loosing things is because when he does -- nothing happens .. so whats the difference either way ?


imagine if every time he lost something - you took away something he loves --- i bet he would remember a lot better!


he is 7 years old! hes not a baby -- theres no excuse.



good luck!

Answer 2

Stick with the chart, but put a new on in his locker with all the things he needs to remember to bring home.
My 7 year old would forget her head if it wasn't attached...

In addition... many have said forget the chart, I don't know about you but I make a list when I go to the grocery store, I have a to do list etc, what is the difference between that and giving the child a reminder list? Although I do agree there should be consquences for actions, they need to relate to the problem. Forgot lunch box, no dessert cups or cookies for a few days. Forgot his homework? Walk to friends house for a copy or extra work the next day. Lost lunchbox? He has to pay for a new one by doing extra chores

Answer 3

Can you see if his teacher can hold on to his lunch ticket and give it to him when the class goes to lunch?

As for homework, work with his teacher to get him to put his homework in his backpack as soon as it's assigned.

My oldest son had a habit of losing his gloves, so I took some matching yarn and cut it to about 3 ft. long, then sewed each end to the gloves and the middle of it to the neckline of the coat, so that his gloves were always with the jacket. No idea what to do with the hat, and if he loses the jacket, too, we're in trouble, but he usually does a pretty good job about remembering the jacket (it's a denim jacket I sewed spider-man patches to, so he doesn't want to lose his spider-man jacket).

With all of this, you've got to sit down and work something out with his teacher. You can talk to him at home and on the way to school (if you drive him) about remembering the stuff, but when it is time for him to remember things (you're not there to help him remember his coat, homework, hat, gloves, lunch ticket) so you need to get the teacher to help with reminding him. Maybe she can have a checklist for him at his desk or locker, so he can remember to bring home the things on the checklist (backpack, coat, homework, hat, gloves, all the usual lost stuff). There's only so much YOU can do, since there's about eight hours between the time you see him when he goes to school and when he needs to remember to bring his things home.

Answer 4

That's a tough thing at his age. Maybe you can teach him to pause before leaving a room and think about what items he needs to take with him. You could also make a checklist that he has to look at before he leaves home and before he leaves school. Then, he can see what he needs to do but someone will have to stay on top of him to remember to look at it.

You could try memory games with him like Simon or something that challenges him to remember things. He could have a learning or behavioral disorder that's affecting his memory so you need to weed that out first. His doctor could help too.

Another thing, though cruel, is to let him go without lunch one day and feel the consequences of forgetting his meal card. Make sure the school knows what you're doing or they'll feed him and complain to you about it. Then, give him a snack right after school and talk to him about what happened.

Stay with him. It's frustrating but some kids just take longer to remember their responsibilities. Consistency is key. Good luck.

Answer 5

for the lunch ticket you could get one of those clear plastic sleeves that people keep their wok IDs in that are a necklace, put the ticket in there and have him wear it around his neck under his shirt. it will either keep it handy or embarrass him and he will start holding onto it. For homework and jackets, I have the same problem with my daughter, we live in Minnesota where it is super cold right now and she constantly forgets her mittens hat and scarf at school, its been below 0 lately, I told her once that if she ever came home without her homework, or outside gear she would be grounded from the computer, TV, her games and art until the next day, she would be able to read and play with her little sister. She was grounded once and has not had to be grounded again.

EDIT: Not that there is anything wrong with reminding someone to do things like that everyday, thats what I used to do with my daughter, but when she constantly still forgot i figured out that reminding her was not teaching her anything and that she needed consequences for forgetting her responsibilities. I actually spoke to her teacher about not doing special things like making sure her homework was in her backpack right away as i felt that was only teaching her that OTHER people would constantly do things for her to make sure she stayed on the straight and narrow, when in reality everyone needs to learn that they themselves need to accept responsibility for things. Homework and jackets are reasonable responsibilities for any 7 yr old to have.

Answer 6

He should deal with the coincequences of his actions. if he forgets his ticket, he cant have school lunch. Put a back-up lunch in his locker that he can have instead with some things that wont go bad.