My girlfriend wants to be alone?

Question

Hi I am 28, my girlfriend is turning 25, I dated her since she was turning 17 we had a fantastic relationship the past almost 8 years... it would be 8 years next month for us, the past month has been very difficult for us, we got in many argument, we had a great christmas, however once new year came we had problems, it all began, we got in many fights in our relationship and have always gotten through it however this time its different, lately I noticed she been acting different, like when ur with someone for this long u know when something isn't right, so this past Fri I asked her if she felt we been different lately she nodded yes, I then asked her if she felt we been distanace lately she nodded yes, I then painfully asked her if she still want to be with me she shrudded her shoulder like she doesn't know. She told me she want to be alone now and be independent, fact that she met me at 16 she said she want to enjoy being single again I did not see this comin as we were fine 2 mt ago

Thx for all the help, I have to add everything has been going til our recent problem, however the past 3 years I been unemployed. I make my money by playing poker and have been doing very good, she occasionally told me to find a job but she did not seem too angry or mad that I have not been working, then all a sudden the past month after few arguments she told me she done a lot of deep thinking and the fact that I don't have a career bothers her, thing is why did she tell me, since she told me this before our talk this Friday which was a week ago this friday I immideately applied for many jobs and got some reply for interviews, I told her I will quit gambling and get a job right away, I was planning to do that all along b/c I was going to propose to her this summer, told her if she give me some time I change everything but she told me the fact that I am doing it now and not the past 3 years is something that bothers her b/c she should not have to tell me to do that

I do not know what to put into this but she told me she will always love me and there will always be a place for me in her heart, I really have a feeling she wants to move on, Wed is Valentine I really want to see her and give her the gifts I got her, what do I do? That night with that sad talk she told me she want to spend Valentine with me still I think its pity... and at one point she gave me a long passionate kiss... I don't know what is going on... last week we had made love and it was passionate, she occasionally text me she miss and love me and emailed me everymornign like she used to and in the emails it seem like everything is fine, only reason I asked her this Fri is b/c when I'm with her she seem a bit different... maybe I should not have brought it up and just done something about it and hope she change her mind? Well yesturday I called her and try to beg her to come back and it did not help I'm sure its over, she told me its not me she just wants to be alone now

What I do not know the most is how she still sound so normal in the emails she send me prior to wanting to break up with me, she even text me in the middle of the day with she miss me and love me, in the emails she send me everymorning she seem normal but then she has these feelings, had I not brought it up could I have maybe fix it before she want to break up? Maybe I could of held it all in and try to fix it myself and hope she will change her mind I really don't know... tomorrow is Valentines day, I got her a card and some gifts, and also want to get her some flowers, should I send them to her or holdi t back? I appreciate any help thx everyone!

Answer 1

Holy cow but you are a wordy one. If you talk this much AT her, it's no wonder she needs a break. Give her one.

Answer 2

People who date for too long hardly marry, this is true, take a brief look at people around you. 8 years is way too long, What makes her feel that way is that her conscience feel its gonna go on and on like this. In my opinion you shouls have married or engaged 2 years ago. Read in between the lines, she dont want you no more and she cant tell you directly coz she may feel you will think she wasted your time. At her age she is almost over ripe for first attempt at marriage.
Thats how women are bro, let the bird go. you too grew apart and she is definitely not the same person she was when she was 17

Answer 3

She is probably going through a lot of undecided issues as far as a future with you is concerned. A woman has to feel safe and financially secure with a man if she is to look at a future with him. By this, she needs to see that you are being responsible and are setting positive goals for the future. Gambling in itself is not a secure future. You two have had a relationship for a relatively long time and she is starting to question a lot of these things. I feel you can make it work if you just give her some space and in the mean time begin to set goals as far as a career goes. As for the Valentines gifts, ask her if she would mind if you gave them to her. If not, save them to give them to her when you two are talking again. Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

first of all. You both are way too youthful thats why they're being over shielding. in case you'd be in my component of the international then you would in all likelihood be beaten up through her brothers or mothers and fathers or perhaps your mothers and fathers. notwithstanding i'd be fairly unhappy if someone did some thing like that to me. For the section you and her being on my own. Use right here regulations: a million. the position is perfect position she would nicely be on my own. 2. even as is the perfect time she would nicely be on my own. 3. Ask her to inform her acquaintances to help her ditch her mothers and fathers(Sorry Father). 4. you recognize some thing.. some high quality time inclusive of the single which you love. yet heavily you're way too youthful to have fallen in authentic love. besides best of success.

Answer 5

Hey that sucks, sorry to hear that. As a guy I want to say forget about her....but honestly, it sounds like you love this girl but haven't done everything you could. I don't know how much taking you've been doing, but see if giving to her more than you normally do will help.

If you can stop the onliine poker (which I enjoy also btw) and want to get a career...tell her, let her help you...do stuff like that, show her that you are indeed the man that she wants to spend the rest of her life with.

Answer 6

Man thats deep back off give her space girls hate to be ignored let her come to you in the mean while 'yes it is important to find a job also save up for a wedding ring she wants you to marry her but stop calling her just say you got things to do and will be curious remember let heer come to you I dont care if it takes 5 yrs let hercome to you you can call her once ever two months But this is real important foucus on your self if you need to have sex find some one and have sex do not let her know about th other women what ever you do Be a mane be strong stand

Answer 7

I hate to say it, but it seems like you should just let her go. You can't hold on to someone if they don't want to be with you. Since she has been dating you since 16 or 17 years of age, she needs to be independent and stand on her own to find out who SHE is. She needs her own separate identity. Could be that once you guys split up, she will realize that you are the one for her, or she could realize that you guys are all wrong for each other.
I suggest that you do what you need to do to feel better about yourself. If you want a job, go for one. If you don't, then hold off on it.

***Edited since additional information was added...
I think that you should give her the space that she needs and send the gifts to her. If you act to desperate or needy, it will turn her off. Let her know that you care, but don't be clingy.

Answer 8

it could be possible that she has the hots for another guy and she doesn't quite know how this other guy feels for her yet and thats why she balancing you in the wind by not letting go all together. she could feel if this other guy doesn't like her then she still has you to fall back on. as for what to do about valentines day...thats intirily up to you....you could have a happy day with her or you can be miserable without her on valentines...

Answer 9

look...i kno this is sad, but if she wants to go....u cant stop her, talk to her and tell her whats going on in your mind.....if she sees that you r being frank to her, maybe even she will speak up abt wats bothering her. you guys need to sit and talk in peace, it is evident dat u love her a lot.....but right now, the best thing to do is have a polite talk, if dat doesnt help...then i kno dat dis is gonna suck to hear, but u may have to let it go!
after all u cant keep on holding on to her if she isnt willing to stay!
all the best!
take care!

Answer 10

aOne must realize that we all need our space from time to time. Relax, life is to be enjoyed. Relationships are crazy at times.