I met this girl online about a month ago thing is i came out of a bad relationship a few months before. She is everything my ex wasn't bright bubbly funny and really caring. Problem is i don't find her that attractive and have already told her lies such as i have a headache etc when she wants to get physical lol. She has already told me she loves me and that she would be devastated if we break up. I don't want to lose her friendship but if i tell her i just want to be friends she will be heart broken what should i do???
2007-02-12 23:53:41 · 36 answers · asked by whatever001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be completely honest with her and tell her exactly how you feel. Don't expect to keep the friendship though. She's already told you she'd be devastated to lose you, so she probably won't be able to handle just a friendship, at least not for a while. It's very hard to break someones heart but you're hurting her more by lying to her.
2007-02-13 00:01:43 · answer #1 · answered by rosecitylady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her at once that u r not attracted.
honestly i feel sorry for u if the looks maters for u so much that u don't want to be with such nice girls u described just because of it. but u r as u r and if u don't want to be with her tell her. the sooneer is better. u will make her suffer more in future. just remember ur bad relationships and don't act towards people in a way you don't want to be trated.
and there is no way to preserve friendship. don't be an egoist trying to keep her in ur life on ur rules. think about her more.
she's human being, she's woman. she loves.
and ps: anyway it'd better to meet once, maybe she will discover that she does not love u, or u will discover that u r attracted more when meeting in person. it's trick of on-line relations. it's better to meet at least once.
2007-02-13 00:05:43 · answer #2 · answered by saxa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know what you have to do though, dont you? But what you're after is someone telling you something different to "be straight with her and tell her the truth" - unfortunately, however, there is no other way around this sticky mess. Which, incidentally (and I hate to rub this in) you've pretty much created for yourself.
You can sort this out though - and no time like the present.
2007-02-13 00:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by London-Lass 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for it dude..what ya got to lose.? you are in the cat bird seat. just the thing you need to get over the ex wife deal..you need a spare tire to help you through the nite...just go and have a ball and she will settle your life for awhile as long as you keep the idea of marriage out of the picture..then you goose would be cooked...most men get married within five years of divorce ..how sad..friends are better then mates as you can tell a friend just about anything and they will think you are cool..but a mate goes nuts when you tell them the truth..but don't tell this girl you don;'t find her attractive..lie about that..as women would freak out if they knew the truth..most guys don't give two chits as long as they get the goods..and you are getting it whether you want it or not so live and enjoy the best years of your life...there is life after divorce and you have proven it..free at last free at last thank god almighty i am free at last
2007-02-13 00:04:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not be in love with her, but you obviously care enough for her that you don't want to see her hurt, so the best thing you can do for both of you is tell her that - "I don't want to hurt you, but I have to tell you that I just don't feel as strongly about you as you do about me"
Yes, she'll be upset. She'll live. She'll find someone else. Life will go on. Don't make it any worse by dragging it out any longer though.
2007-02-12 23:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by RIffRaffMama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she will be heartbroken if and when you cheat on her because you dont find her attractive, so you might as well break her heart now and finish with her. Whatever you do she is going to be heartbroken it is not fair on her. Let her down as lightly and carefully as you can. Learn a lesson, you cant have it all ways. Do you want personality or looks?
2007-02-13 00:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately you are going to have to break her heart. if you just want friendship and value her feelings then you will tell her and be honest about it. She will eventually appreciate your honesty even if she doesn't appear to at first. she will be broken hearted but you need to let her know, its not fair to either of you to keep the relationship going you'll both be more hurt in the end. good luck
2007-02-12 23:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by Giggle Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes' just gonna have to be heartbroken
You have only just met her so finish now. It will
get harder the longer it goes on.
I have complete admiration for a person who
knows how they feel and can carry through
what they have to do.
I know its' easy for us to say - but we've
all been there. Tell her today. Tonight you
will go to bed and you won,t have a dark
cloud hanging over you. Good Luck and
Be Brave.
2007-02-16 22:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you have no choice...you HAVE to tell her the truth.
This is one of the worst things you can say to anybody, but it is worse to mislead them, believe me. I still feel guilty about a girl from over 30 years ago!!!!
Explain about how this happened by all means, but you have to be honest, if you don't love her, then you are both wasting your lives trying to make something unreal happen.
It may be some time in the future, but she will be glad of your honesty one day.
2007-02-13 00:00:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth, jerk. Some friend you are! Looks has nothing to do with getting physical. Get physical with an attractive woman, after wards she will most likely tell you," your performance wasn't attractive"!
2007-02-13 00:12:35 · answer #10 · answered by lee d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋