I have going through this dilemma with a 28 year old guy for about 7 months! We clicked RIGHT from the start on both parts, had great laughs and were both stimulating mentally and pysically. We started off as friends and then realised how much we liked each other. But this guy was in 2 frame of minds, he really really liked me but wasn't in the frame of mind any kind of commitment right now! He has been very indecisive? I mean he liked me this much that even when I was on holiday for 3 weeks he was calling me non stop etc as he missed me..many times I decided to move on & he obviously was connected to me to keep coming back & to tell me how much he misses my company and someone to liaise with. So why is it that he would risk loosing me, all because he dosen't want to settle down right now?? He said to me "if I was looking for something, you would be the one, but i'm not in the frame of mind for anything serious it's my loss"". why would you risk loosing a good thing?
2007-02-12 22:17:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The thing is he was in a 7 year on and off relationship which finished around 2 years ago etc. His sister which I am close to says that he does like me very much as she has talked to him about me, but he is just looking for anything too heavy. He still wants to be friends and see what happens in the future? I know that he WILL REALISE, when I move on and I am not in his presence and that is when he truly will want to be with me? So do I be with him THEN IN THE FUTURE EVEN THOUGH HE HURT ME IN THE PAST, BUT EVEN THOUGH I LOVE HIM. HOW DO I MOVE ON WHEN WE WERE SO CLOSE?? NO FUNNY ANSWERS PLEASE?
2007-02-12 22:20:42 · update #1
Its not a good thing. He is not loosing anything. Yes he may love you but he has what he wants. A light and easy friendship with benefits. And after only seven months why should he want more? If you had said seven YEARS I would say tell him to hit the highway.. but months??
He should be allowed to come to his love with out tricks of a obsessed lover. Being pushed into it will only make YOU doubt his love for the rest of the time the relationship last.
If it meant to be it will be and if its not it will not.. so why not sit back and enjoy the ride instead of looking for the ride to end? Give him a chance to fall in love.. not get pushed over a cliff to it.
2007-02-12 22:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by Jp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, I can totally understand his frame of mind. I'm a guy who is seeing the same kind of mind set in my life. I'm really hard to get, so I assume this guy is too, but it's not impossible, this just means that you have to be a lot more appealing and a lot more detatched. You should really start talking to other men and mentioning it to him (not in an obvious way, but in a just making conversation way) I know this stuff drives me CRAZY, it makes me want to commit a lot more! If I feel like I'm going to lose a girl it makes me want to commit, if I feel like she's there for me no matter what, I'll wait on commitment. Also just start acting like he's totally in love with you, I love it when a girl does this, it makes me like her a lot more. If he stumbles over his words or something say "You're stuttering now, I didn't realize you were that in love" in a playful tone with a sligh smile. It's terribly charming!
2007-02-13 06:29:06 · answer #2 · answered by Brady S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many more ways does the poor guy have to figure out to tell you the same thing? He is not interested in settling down with you. He is not ready for a commitment. He does not want to marry you, have kids with you, grow old with you.
If a permanent relationship such as marriage is what you dream about, you need to look for a guy who shares that dream. The one you're with doesn't. If you decide to stay with him, you'll only get what he's willing to give. Which is what you've been getting.
2007-02-13 06:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd ask him why. And that he can't keep chasing you around if he doesn't want to be with you. Being friends is fine, but no guy friend who is compltely platonic with you would call you that many times or keep after you. It almost looks as if he wants you around when HE'S ready, if that ever happens.
2007-02-13 06:22:39 · answer #4 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His sister said," likes" not love. Your friendship means a-lot to him.You are ready for commitment, but he isn't. And as long as you are there for him and giving "more" than your friendship, he will keep coming around, misusing that friendship. How long are you willing to waite for this guy to fall in-love with you.Keep it to just friendship and move on,,,,,, or you will miss the one that is out there for you and who is ready to commit.
2007-02-13 06:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by lee d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
things are quite clear..once a man does not want a relationship-even though he likes u like crazy- means that he will drive u insane..he will not be the proper bf because he doesn't want to be.might not have gotten over his ex-might not be ready to be intiment enotionally with a new woman.
forget the guy.
2007-02-13 06:27:35 · answer #6 · answered by disco ball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ought to have known that this guy,is afraid of commitment,he wants you around,but doesnt want to make commitments.he is not yet over his first relationship.u still have a lot of people to meet than to weep over him.been there and u can do better.
2007-02-13 06:52:24 · answer #7 · answered by bamboke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 28, he should be in a mature state to know weather he wants to settle or not.if he is still deciding, to me it says he has another girl & so he doesnt know who to choose.listen to his words carefully,he said he is not ready for anything serious! I believe you are a beautiful woman, please move on with your life.
2007-02-13 06:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by sexyjon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking...no, plenty of goodmen out there
2007-02-13 06:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by It'sabet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋