Is shouting at children ok?

Question

Do you think it helps then learn? Or are there better ways to teach and train?

Answer 1

I don't think shouting works, it just makes people look and sound like out of control lunatics. I don't think it necessarily hurts children but it depends on what is being said and to what extent the shouting is escalating to, all parents lose their cool now and again and thats ok, it shows our kids we are human too, but shouting all of the time is not helpful. Kids learn by example, I think a calm approach to discipline is much healthier for all concerned.

Answer 2

No, of course it's not OK, in the same way that shouting at another adult is not OK.

Speaking to children in a calm but firm manner is much more effective and gets the message across better, along with an appropriate punishment, such as the withdrawal of a certain privilege or activity for a time.

As a mum of three, I would be lying to say that I've never, ever done it though. Parenting is very challenging and just now and again they push you a little bit too far! No-one is perfect.

Answer 3

it depends to what extent. Have you ever watched the nanny thing on T.V well if you want your children to copy what you shout then they will so be careful if you swear etc as they pick it up easily. The best way to teach children is to reinforce good behaviour in the obvious ways like acknowledging their achievements, congratulating them and perhaps making their favourite meal or allowing them to watch a favourite T.V programme. But if they do something wrong then tell them off and if they repeat it then warn them you'll put them on the stairs or somewhere by themselves in the house that is boring and make them sit there for ten minutes. It is better if it isn't a bright or exciting place so they have time to think about what they have done and why they are there. Children love the attention so if they don't get it when they are naughty as they are left out, they'll be good to get it.

Answer 4

Well children learn from your example - so if you shout at a child when you are angry or because they wont do what you want them to do, you are teaching that child to yell to get their own way. I dont think shouting teaches anything... all you need is a stern tone, you know that voice you use so the children know you mean business lol - some parents use a quiet voice with this tone, others shout, but both can work.
I think if you yell at your children you can be certain they will be yelling at you when they are older if they dont already.
All children need to learn are that their actions bring consequences, and these consequences need to be consistant from you... ie if a child goes to hit another child, the consequence for that is maybe 'time out', or confiscation of a favourite toy, or being grounded etc - this can work on a positive level for good behaviour also - if a child plays nicely and shares with another child the consequence for that is alot of praise, or even a special treat. If they remember to tidy their rooms all week, they can get pocket money.
To teach and disciplin a child all they need to learn is positive behaviour results in a positive consequence and their negative actions result in negative consequences.
Just be very clear and precise on your boundaries and stick to them - its important all the carers of the child use the same boundaries and disciplins also - or the child will begin to play one parent off the other, and perhaps go to daddy if they think mummy will say no.... Mummy and Daddy need to be a parenting team and work together!
Remember.... to get good well behaved children who respect others, you need to always be well behaved and show respect to them and others yourself - as children only do what they see :)
Be a good rolemodel!
Good luck.... parenting isnt an easy task, and its easy to get carried away in your own feelings, especially frustration - but how you deal with situations is teaching the children how they will deal with situations also.
Parents who shout and smack their children wonder why as their children get older they become abusive and shout and hit their parents (or other children) to get their own way.... this is only because the children were taught to smack and shout to get their own way - its what the parents showed them to do!!

Answer 5

thats a hard question to answer... if a child is about to do harm then sometimes shouting is the only way to be heard... shouting is a negative way to discipline a child .... the need a lot of positive attention and should have more positive than negative... if a child has done wrong you should speak to them in a calm voice and let them know what they've done wrong and why it is wrong..ask if they understand and ask for an apology, when they apologise praise them for this... i know this probably sounds silly and something these nannies on telly would do but it does work... my children get plenty of praise.. they get stickers when good and reward charts work great... i dont agree in treating with sweets or new toys... but if their charts are full of stickers after a mnth or week they get a small treat like a magazine of thei choice... everyone is different .. i was bought up in a strict environment and decided at a young age my kids would get more praise and attention than what i had....i hope it helps... basically i think shouting is ok in controlled circumstances .. but too much and kids get used to it and ignore you...

Answer 6

Shouting at children is totally unproductive unless it is a dire and dangerous situation and you are trying to prevent them to do something that it is so dangerous that they might be hurt or killed like getting too close to the edge of a cliff and you are not near enough to pull them back.
Different children react to shouting in various ways. Some curl up, are terrified, and become unable to absorb any information. Others get immune to it, shrug their shoulders and ignore it. Some counter react and become insolent and abusive as a result. Shouting generates a pattern which means that they in turn will shout at their children. It also creates a climate of unpleasantness which is bad for all concerned.
The most effective way to teach children is to explain to them things quietly but firmly. "You must not touch that because you will get really hurt". "No, you are not allowed out until you have tidied the mess you have made. Let's do it together, shall we?"
The best way to teach them is through praise when they have done something good or difficult and by showing them how to do things calmly and without losing one's temper.

Answer 7

No, you're a common determine. What i've got stumbled on is this however. Shouting is greater approximately me having a bad day than my toddlers doing something unusual. If i'm having a brilliant day issues run easily. you purely would desire to be sure you have greater solid days than undesirable. in case you detect you're shouting every day you would be able to would desire to re-shape your day so as which you have a splash greater mommy time. upward push up an hour in the previous than the youngsters do. positioned them to mattress at evening and then do something for YOU. relax throughout nap time. do no longer forget that mothers choose breaks too. Getting an occasional evening out or day away continually makes me a greater efficient mom. solid good fortune and don't difficulty, once you're undeserving then so are something individuals!

Answer 8

I try NOT to shout at my own children but sometimes you DO have to SHOUT especially if you see them crossing the road as a coal truck comes along.

If you shout ALL the time then its pointless because it just goes in and out the other ear. Kids can (sometimes) have a short memory span on certain things so you just have to keep reminding them and repeating things over time (like potty training).

When you shout it is all noise to them.... its more realistic to sit down and talk to the little person, try to explain reason in the simpliest way rather than go on and on boring them to death (and they lose interest in the converstation).

May not be a bad idea to take kid/s to play groups and interact with other kids, learn social skills and all that. Keep them busy and happy so you are not likely to shout at them.

They usually get up to mischief simply because they are bored not naughty. Naughty comes after boredom. :- )

Check out parenting at iVillage.co.uk if you want....
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/parenting

Answer 9

Ok, I get shouted at every friggin' day, and I gotta say.. If it's a younger kid, they probably won't recognize the difference, but once they become older, if you're still doing it, they're gonna really dislike you. It just gets annoying, especially as it becomes easy for the parent to fall into a habit of shouting instead of talking.

As everyone else said, just calmly talking and explaining the situation will boost the kid's confidence in himself (or herself) and also in you, the parent, that you trust them.

Answer 10

NO, I actually really try and always keep my voice calm and quiet. At times I use a stern voice, buy I hate shouting. I use spanking when necessary for defiant deeds, but I don't like how shouting raises the stress level. My kids seem to think on the same lines.