Funny Valentines poems?

Question

with valentines coming up i am looking for some funny poems to put in my bf card.

Answer 1

How about:

I look at a tree,
And what do I see?
My Valentine's face
Smiling back at me.

I spot a cute rock,
But, oh what a shock,
For it reminds of you
And that is no crock.

Everywhere that I turn,
My feelings just burn
With thoughts about you,
My love please don’t spurn!

Each rock and each tree,
Each cloud and each bee,
The earth and the sea,
It all reminds me...

I love you awesomely!

By J. Fuchs.

OR

Valentine, you’re in my dreams,
Both daytime and at night;
I dream of how you’d feel to touch,
How I’d fill you with delight.

So far my dreams have not come true;
You scarcely know I’m there.
But if I were a super hero,
Then I could make you care.

As Spiderman I’d weave a web,
Lure you and catch you in it,
So you couldn’t just smile and walk away,
After talking less than a minute.

As Plastic Man my parts could stretch,
I’d form them as you desire.
We could play till we got it right;
Now that should light your fire.

As Batman I’d show you sweet mysteries
In my secret underground lair.
I’d kiss and caress you to ecstasy;
Say yes; just take my dare.

I might be the superhero you’ve dreamed;
Don’t automatically deny me.
Just put yourself in my loving hands;
You won’t be sorry; try me.

You’re my personal Wonder Woman;
Be my heroine, Valentine.
Let me show you why you should choose me,
And why you’ll love being mine.

By Karl and Joanna Fuchs

All the best!

Answer 2

Everything Reminds Me Of You

I look at a tree,
And what do I see?
My Valentine's face
Smiling back at me.

I spot a cute rock,
But, oh what a shock,
For it reminds of you
And that is no crock.

Everywhere that I turn,
My feelings just burn
With thoughts about you,
My love please don’t spurn!

Each rock and each tree,
Each cloud and each bee,
The earth and the sea,
It all reminds me...

I love you awesomely!

By Karl Fuchs
Here are our funny Valentine poems! Use humorous Valentine verse to keep things light. Cute, funny Valentine’s Day poems will get their attention. Funny Valentine's Day poems are always welcome.

This funny Valentine poem is a funny Valentine verse for those who are no longer in the bloom of youth.


Timeless Valentine

As time goes by from year to year,
One thing is surely true, my dear;
Though decades come and decades go,
Just seeing you sets me aglow.

Time shifts my body; I start to sag,
When I pass a mirror, it can make me gag.
My joints all ache; I can hardly move;
Still a smile from you, and I’m in the groove.

Getting older can be a pain,
But with you along, I can’t complain.
Despite the things that we go through,
I know I’ll never stop loving you.

Your loving heart turns life to play,
As we laugh at time from day to day.
So I write this poem, and I’ll hang my sign,
Saying, "Always Be My Valentine."

Answer 3

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Answer 4

If you go into my profile and look at questions I've asked I put something similar up yesterday - there's a few on there

Answer 5

for sum1 mean or an ex that wont leave!

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
sugar is sweet;
just like you...

But the roses are wilted,
the flowers are dead,
the sugar bowls empty;
just like your head...

Answer 6

roses are red violets are blue and clown is happy i hop u r too

Answer 7

ROSES ARE READ VIOLTES ARE BLUE, YOU CAN'T TELL YOU DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO

YOU ARE SO DUMP THATS WHY I DUMPED YOU