Am i fair and reasonable in doing this?

Question

this is the case my 3 yr old son keeps crying and whining whenever i do something i want..for example i only bought myself a new tie or clothing he wants one too and sometimes he even torments my wife by crying unreasonably and hitting his younger brother who is 1.5 yr old and u know what i did?

i made him take off his clothes and walk around the house that way then i also slap him in the hands

Answer 1

Well, no.
You are an adult and have subjected your 3 year old son to an humiliating experience.
Hardly fair and certainly not reasonable.

Answer 2

He is trying to be like daddy. Let him wear the tie. He is learning a lot of things from you right now and is looking for you to teach him.

When he hits his brother, spank him. He needs to be taught against this.

As for the running around naked: bad idea! If you humiliate him as a child, he will possibly become withdrawn and have low self esteem.
I have 2 sons: 4 and 2, and they fight all the time. They know when daddy says stop, they can avoid an a** whooping or get one.

He's a boy. Teach him and mold him into a good man.
The way I have found myself raising my 3 kids are to look back at the mistakes I made and figure out what my parents could have done to keep me from making them. So far, it's working.

Answer 3

You have to think from his point of view. Most probably he wanted a tie too so that he could be 'just like dad'.
You need to ask him about this stuff, and communicate with him. He is three, so he can understand. Explain why he can or can't have something. Ask him if he understands. If he still goes crazy, give a punishment. However, punishment, i feel, should not be humiliating. Not good for the self esteem or the child parent relationship.
I personally disagree with spanking. It just teaches that in some situations it is acceptable to use physical force to get those weaker than you to do what you want them to do. (plus, i was spanked a lot, and it never did any good)

Answer 4

Your son is behaving in this way because of the way you and your wife have treated him in the past. He knows how to pull your strings and get what he wants. I can't quite understand what taking his clothes off and making him walk around the house does!! Personally I think there are better ways to get him out of a habit that you have created.
My 2.5yr old daughter is starting to have a few paddies and showing some personality and I am having to introduce discipline but I wouldn't make her walk round naked.

Answer 5

Why would you make him take off his clothes? No, its not fair - it's humiliating and embarrassing to say the least. Only 3, yes, but old enough for it to have an effect on him later on. When smacking a childs hand, do it on the inside, not on the outside, there hands are extremely soft. I could give you a few pointers on how to deal with the situation, but each child responds differently to various types of punishment - What worked for me will not necessarily work for you -

Answer 6

You are cruel.

He is 3-yr old and he doesn't have the same mental capability that of you.

I teach my son stories where I always differentiate between 'good' and 'bad'. Some of the things (like crying, insisting etc.,), I show them as 'bad things' done by bad characters in the stories. I narrate my own stories around animals so that they are interesting to him as well put some material into his tiny little sweet brain.

You gotta be patient. If you have enough of it, then he doesn't have to go through your punishment for a mistake he didn't do on purpose.

Remember the thumb rule - "If you are giving punishment to your kid, then you are making him to pay for your fault of not teaching him properly".

Answer 7

firstly..... WHY did you make him take his clothes off????? that is just weird!

if he is crying and whinging and trying to get his own way then you need to use effective discipline, not humiliate him for your own self pleasure. i would suggest a time out when he is behaving as you dont want him too... it is much more effective than a slap or humiliation.... i think you need to look at your parenting skills long and hard when it comes to discapline as i have never heard of anything so shameful as making a 3 yr old strip and walk round naked.

Answer 8

God, I wouldnt do that to a three year old. Why don't you get him some biscuits or something when you buy something for yourself and try not to show him you bought the item. But it seems like he is quite the naughty kid hitting his innocent brother like that. Don't shout loudly at him as at this age, he might grow up having a grudge against you. What you did to him was kind of weird though. lol.

Answer 9

i'm not opposed to spanking, but that is excessive in my opinion. keep in mind that at 3 they are starting thier "mine, not fair" and tantrums phase. they also will do as you do....so by you hitting him he will in turn do the same to whats smaller/younger than him. don't let him see you shopping for clothing, or whatever....or remove him from the situatuion and have a daddy son talk and explain that you need new ties because of your job, or whatever, and that daddy really doesn't like to wear them they are uncomfortable so you don't want to make him wear one. kids are ALOT more receptive to being spoken to as an adult, or getting explainations than alot of people think.

Answer 10

It is fine to discipline your child.

Whether it is OK to do so by spanking is a matter of whether local laws permit it, and the type of discipline you prefer.

However, humiliating a child is NEVER a good or acceptable method of discipline.

It is OK to make him ashamed of his bad behavior, but it is not OK to make him ashamed of himself.

As a parent, it is your job NOT ONLY to discipline your son so he learns to behave properly -- you must also instill in him a sense of self-worth. By making him walk around naked, you take away his sense of self-worth.

Note that forced nudity is a method use to break down prisoners of war. It is part of stripping them of their self-worth.

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Reading my answer now, I wanted to add: Hey, we are parents, we're just human, we make mistakes! So you made a mistake once -- we all make a mistake at some point. I am sorry if I sounded really harsh. Please consider what I've said here.

Answer 11

smacking his hands is something that i would do my self. there is nothing wrong with that. by doing that you are teaching him that the way he was acting was bad. so i wouldnt feel bad doing that. now taking off his clothes i dont understand but you are the dad and you know what works for your kids. i know with my kids i have learned that you have to handle each one differently. one might need spanked and the other might need sent to there room. the best thing is to try different things to see what works the best.