They dont spare me as a newly married girl. I have to take care of my bed ridden mother in law. Cook for the whole family feed the children, wash all the vessels, after that leave for work. & i am always late to work inspite of taking an auto. The elderly ladies just mercilessly leave & go to work in a big organization. Where as me as the youngest just get up to work & after going home too i have to work & work till 11pm or more than that. Its really so sick after marriage. But my hubby is very good to me. As he is the youngest, he is helpless. Now it is 8 months, but still we have not gone for a honeymoon trip. Just looking after their family, & i lost interest to live too. I was so much pampered in my moms house. But here its just opposite. I have to work like a donkey & worst part is i am a veg but in their house they slaughter the sheep in the name of god inside the house only. I feel so bad.& i hate to see that nonveg. But my hubbys elder brother scolds me to go and do the work
2007-02-12 19:59:24 · 16 answers · asked by sujathaprm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Do not feel bad but my best advice to leave this place. Think about your self. You do not have your own life. you are working like servant. There is big line between servant and family member. This world is very big. Do not spoil you life. God will help you. I feel very bad about slaughter the sheep in the name of the god. You should leave that house NOW! All the best. God will help you.
2007-02-12 20:51:17 · answer #1 · answered by Bob Saget 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't you think you aren't entirely blameless here? I think yours has been an arranged marriage. In that case you/your family must have made enquiries about your husband's family, their customs etc prior to your marriage. Facts like they have sixteen members or that they are non veg must have been known to you too. You could have decided to marry elsewhere. So you have entered into the relationship by choice. Being a working woman, you are financially independent and shouldn't have agreed to marry here even under parental pressure, if any.
Being a pampered child, you find the neglect of your in-laws more painful. Just remember one thing, you are now a member of a joint family (or am I wrong?). Till date you have seen only the negative side of such a setup. In time you will realise the benefits of such a system too and there will be a lot of things which will work to your advantage. Just have patience.
It is inconsiderate to make you work to the extent which ultimately leads to late attendance in your office. Tell the elderly dames that your boss is taking a serious view of your regular lateness. If nobody offered you a little helping hand, your job might be in jeopardy. Maybe there would be some change in their behaviour.
I personally abhor animal sacrifice in the name of religion. But it is against public decency to slaughter an animal in public too. As this is a religious rite prevalent in your in-laws' home, you can look elsewhere when it is being performed. You may try to convince your in-laws about the futility of such practice. Change if any, will not come around in a day though.
Finally being a financially independent woman, do stand up for your rights without appearing rude. Don't take injustice or indignity even from elders, lying down.
2007-02-13 02:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your hubby is so good to you then why does he not see your unhappiness? You married him and not his family. Your hubby's elder brother has NO business scolding you. You are not his child. Go back to your mother where you will get understanding and compassion. If your husband loves you he will follow. Nothing worse than cleaning up after grown women folk who are disrespectful and lazy. Do not sacrifice your life for anyone. If you are a vegan then be a vegan. Sacrificial offerings to God is way out there. That's really strange to me. What religion is this anyways? Sorry, don't mean any disrespect. Don't be poser and try to believe in something you don't just because you want to be loved. You need to be strong and walk away when you are young before it is too late!!!
2007-02-12 21:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have checked out everything well before your marriage. Settled things your way. After all, if you dont want what you have, ur not gonna be happy. Its too late to take any drastic action or expect a favourable change automatically. You could talk to your husband and sort things out. Dont put up with the situation for too long or else you'll never be able to manage to improve the situation. Its a test of whether ur hubby loves you enough or not.
2007-02-13 01:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by Celeste 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you marry the son, or the family? Tell your hubby things will change... or.... you decide to what extent the ultimatum is.
Unless you knew what you were getting into before the wedding, you didn't volunteer to be the hand-maid of the family.
I get the impression you love your hubby despite the situation, but make some changes before you lose your mind.. and self.
Get out... or law the law down. I don't think you'll get away with finding a middle ground. Good Luck.
2007-02-12 20:08:04 · answer #5 · answered by bakfanlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the adult members of the family earn a living, right. Why don't you guys hire a full time servant. Work load gone....
About your mother-in-laws sicknees, that's something which everyone has to take care of. Not just you but every person in your family. Secondly, yo uneed not complain if others don't do it. Just go ahead with your role in the family. That's something worth bearing the pain on a humanitarian point of view.
About being veg or non-veg, this is something you had to consider before marraige. You cannot change habits of sixteen odd guys around you cos you don't like it.
:-)
2007-02-13 02:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ghosh..........my advice to u is that talk to ur hubby and get apart from ur inlaws gettig married doent mean a women have o work like an donkey in her sasural any ways just talk to ur hubby about what u rgaong through if he loves u he will take some good action and as u both r working i dont thing there will be any prob in leaving away from ur family
if u cant get apart from ur inlaws then talk to them tell them ur not their servant ask them to do their work that doesnt mean that u will want work but say them u will work only if everyone gets shared work at home n u too needs time for urself so working in office then home n tolerating those nonsence of nonveg stuff is really like living in hell plz take some acion or u will suffer a lot in ur marreid life sweaty
god bless you
2007-02-12 20:24:40 · answer #7 · answered by shabana o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
first i'll suggest not advice u to be patient and not to be dishearten. U've said that u've newly married and ur husband loves u much.So where that problem arise if your husband loves u truely.He can must make situation better .I am unable to get the answer wheather his family bring u as a servent or wife for their son.Were u concern about their family before married? Only love is not a matter.You can say your hubby for a servent for the family.Why u will work alone?.Share the burden with others --as a u've to go to ur job also.
I hpe god will hear u.Best of luck.
Regards:
Debkumar:
deb_kumar_83@yahoo.com
2007-02-12 20:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by Debkumar G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see that you have got an EXCESS BAGGAGE in Marriage and boy oh boy its quite a large one.
Its very complex situation and I dont know how to react.
But In order for you to get some rest from this busy schedule of yours fake illness :) gain some sympathy from your Hubby and in laws, speak to your hubby about moving out.
I am sure in time you will move out
2007-02-12 22:12:06 · answer #9 · answered by jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good that u love your husband were u not aware of all this befor marriager..k leave as we need to now straigten the problem from here....k sorry to tell u that u need to work on a time table...k have u decided to take these responsibilty or to drop decide on everything then fix ur time and work on it as your wquestion has mpre question than answers ...sorry
2007-02-12 20:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by tamanaahamed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋