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I'm afraid to ask a guy out because he's white and my parents would FLIP THE F*** OUT ON ME!

2007-02-12 19:15:03 · 12 answers · asked by SolarGroove 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

12 answers

You should never be a slave to anyone, ever. You live and die as an individual within your own head. Therefore, you MUST look out for your own interests because there are going to be people who think they know better for you than you do (your parents included). It is important to feel like a human being that is respected for being capable of making your own decisions. That only way to get that respect and to be treated as a human being is to talk things over with people and if they insist on treating you like a second class citizen, you gotta grab the power and assert your authority to run your own life. You're a minority (as am I) so you should know that most of all, right? Bottom line is that there is no rational reason why race should be a prohibitive factor in romantic relationships. It is stupid to say, "I don't want that black man to date my wonderful white daughter" and it is JUST as stupid to say, "I don't want that white boy to date my beautiful [insert race here] daughter." Both of those perceptions are based upon stereotyping an entire culture and come from a lack of understanding (or perhaps bad experiences with some bad apples...and they definitely grow on EVERY tree). To say that there aren't any great white guys out there that will love you and honor you is just as stupid as saying that there aren't any good black men out there. You can't judge the individual based on your perceptions of a group, period. Now, that isn't to say that there aren't potential difficulties and situations you might have to deal with as an interracial couple. That might legitimately worry your parents and if they talk out those worries with you and acknowledge your ability to make your own decisions, then cool. If you are an adult you should be able to handle yourself. If you aren't a kid, it is your right to make mistakes (trust me, your parents make misakes too and are still makin' em just like everyone else) because it is the only way you learn. Even if you are a kid, if you are old enough to be dating a black guy (in your parent's eyes) you are old enough to be dating a white one too. So long as you act responsibly by using protection, making sure you both are STD free, and you steer clear of hardcore drug use/criminal activity...what is the problem? As long as you act like an adult, you should be treated like one. These are all things you should bring up to your parents in a calm and rational manner. Make them justify their concerns and their beliefs. If there aren't any real reasons or justifications for their behavior, YOU have to take control. iOtherwise, they are trying to live through you and you become their slave of sorts by constantly pulling the puppet strings. You aren't a puppet, you are a person. Sometimes your parents need to be faced with that reality and some accept it better than others. You need to do what is right for you and if that means dating a white boy, then by all means go for it.

2007-02-12 19:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by Evan 3 · 0 0

Which world ARE YOU IN??? Of course you MUST go ahead n ask d guy out BUT only IF you truly like him... its only when you're actually interested in a long-term relationship that you need to figure out ways to put the message across to your parents. Even then, its YOUR life. Your parents will eventually come around.. even though it might feel a little bitter in the beginning. Go Hon!! Get your guy.. LIFE is beyond color!!

2007-02-12 19:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by AYOOZe 3 · 0 0

I believe you should talk to your parents about your feelings. You should let them know that you can't control who you fall in love with (which is a beautiful thing). It would be stressful in the relationship if you don't deal with this barrier now.

Sort it out with your parents first so that you have peace of mine. Otherwise, a lot of arguments will ensue.

I am also in an interracial relationship. I made sure that my parents were cool with it before giving it a try.

2007-02-12 19:35:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i think of you will desire to do what you go with. interior the top that's finally as much as you too comprehend what makes you happy. i'm mexican and that i've got a white bf he's critical and that i admire him. human beings basically choose to maintain there custom, delight and values on the factor of them. I doubt they're going to aprove of him from the style you describe your mum and dad yet i think of with time they're going to study to settle for it. you will no longer be able to completly convince them yet you may factor out the useful's attributes he has. solid good fortune <3

2016-11-03 08:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

If ur still living under ur parents expense, u shld listen. if ur not, then just do what u have to and try to change their mindset, its the 21st century...shld be living in harmony n no racism.

2007-02-12 19:20:28 · answer #5 · answered by DooGie 3 · 0 0

Yes, it's alright. I went through that same thing myself when my family didn't approve of my dating inter-racially. They'll get over it eventually. Life too short--live your life girl.

2007-02-12 19:40:30 · answer #6 · answered by Radio Diva 4 · 0 0

your parents should grow up
ppl like that are the reason racism is still around
(sry but its true)
if you really like the preson skin tone shouldn't matter

2007-02-12 19:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

your parent is right. it is part of your guidance. since you are in the custody of your parents, they have the right to protect you away from temptation.

2007-02-12 19:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Girl, it's you that make your own decision.
If you like him, go for it!
And if you like him, you should be ready for the troubles that you might go through!
g'luck!

2007-02-12 19:33:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

do what you want to do, your social life is not governed by your parents, your home life is (provided you are living under their roof) but thats it.

2007-02-12 19:20:07 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0 0

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