For starters I'm 25. In my area I've been applying for jobs everywhere in town that I can think of and coming up empty. My life currently where I reside is a total failure. My father offered me the opportunity to live with him while I got on my feet. My mom sees this as throwing away everything she has ever done for me or "sh!ting on her" I personally think that my mom should respect my adult decisions. I'm not going to be living with him that long. A year MAX. Now, am I wrong, but is my mom being childish about this instead of respecting that I'm trying to better myself and get my debts paid off in a year instead of 5-10 years as the original plan I had? I'm not doing it to crap on her, I'm doing it to better myself and be more successful. Why is she so mad? He didn't provide much for me as a child no, but I'm an adult now, why can't she respect my choices in life seeing that I'm an adult?
2007-02-12 18:06:20 · 6 answers · asked by inclinedtodream 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're right to think that your mom is being childish and selfish but she's also probably feeling rejected and sad that you are not only leaving her but leaving her to go live with someone that she doesn't much like or had much role in bringing you up. All parents feel sad and abandoned somewhat when kids grow up and move on to their own lives. But as parents, they need to accept this and feel proud that they raised a child to become a self-sufficient, independent adult.
So have some patience with her, when she gets mad and says such childish things. Rather, reassure her that you are only doing this to be a better person and a responsible adult and it doesn't mean that you are abandoning her. She will always be your mom and let her know that she did a great job in bringing you up, all on her own, to be that better person. Tell her that you'll keep in touch and visit often. If she still doesn't understand or throws a fit then, I'm sorry but you'll have to do what is best for you and move on. She needs to be given a chance to be an adult also.
2007-02-12 22:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by curious cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because a father that doesn't provide physically or emotionally for his child shows a mother he is very inmature...parents who care parent. She is probably assuming his lifestyle will rub off on you the wrong way although he may have changed.
There are those who have driven the father away however, please don't take this as a suggestion it's just a statement. I am a mother of three young men who's father refused to visit yet found the time to claim false denial of visitation and a host of other accusations on me the entire time my sons were growing up. At 25 it's 100% your call anyways and should know your father no matter what the situation but don't have to live with him to do so.
2007-02-12 21:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your mom may have some abandonment issues. You two been around one another the majority of your lives? Try to sit dow and reassure her that you aren't abandoing her, that you'll stay in touch ( make a realistic plan ), and that you aren't saying no to her wants but that it is time to say yes to your own passions now.
2007-02-12 19:35:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is better for you and he is happy to have you live with him until you clear your debts, then I say go for it. I know what it is like to have parents that can't stand each other, god mine won't even speak to each other, but you have to do what is better for you in the end. Explain it to her, if she cant understand the logic, then do what you have to do and give her time to adjust. Your her child, she will understand sooner or later, she will just need time to think and recognise that it is in your best interests
2007-02-12 22:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by OziGirl_222 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look after your self, and that is all you can do, if your mom disagrees with you that is her problem, not yours she is the one that needs get a grip on reality. So take care of your self, and be happy
2007-02-12 19:21:43 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now and returned there are undesirable circumstances which you incredibly choose to stroll removed from, and comprehend it may be the excellent element so you might do, yet in doing so would desire to be unfavorable to your self or a kinfolk member... in any different case if we are able to steer away from worry, that's maximum suitable to attain this...
2016-11-03 07:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋