So my boyfriend is leaving for college in a different state.. We've been together two years, and I really love him. I can't move there because I don't have the money, and I have agoraphobia. I really, really love him, but he wants to break up while he's there, and maybe in 4 years we can get back together. MAYBE. I don't know what to do, and it's tearing me apart. I also have depression, and things like this cant be solved with any kind of medication...
2007-02-12 17:41:31 · 11 answers · asked by Wolf Girl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sorry but it dosent sound like he loves you
2007-02-12 18:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by dee_ann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably break up and not get back together. Sorry. I know that sucks. Listen, you guys are YOUNG and this is not the time to make decisions that lead to long term commitments. In 4 years, you will be different people, you may be compatible at that time but you will likely not be. College, and the years in between, will change your dynamics. He probably wants to break up because there is a part of him that is excited about a world of new possibilities, and to be fair,that is natural and healthy and to be expected. I know it doesnt make it hurt any less, but do know that he is at least being honorable in telling you so.
My man moved very far away, but we are older and have the resources not available to you to make things work. Even so it was a weighty decision for us both, so I very much feel your pain. I think perhaps, for your sake, the best thing is to resolve to let him go and be happy for him and find happiness for youself and if your roads lead back to eachother thats great and if they don't it'll be because you found something better along the way. Good luck.
2007-02-13 01:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by tiny_dog10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, um depression can be controled by medication.. and im sorry but im not sure what agoraphobia is... But if he is wanting to break up after two years and POSSIBLY get back to gether after four years, my best guess is that is probably because he isnt as "in love" with you as you may think he is. Its hard but I would let him go, he is actually trying not to hurt you by letting you know up front that he may have other intentions. Let him go, find someone you can talk to and possibly you and your bfcan remain friends. Who knows there could be someone else out there for you!! Someone better?
2007-02-13 01:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by Mindy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"...but he wants to break up while he's there"
Sorry to say, but it looks like you are in the market for a new bf. If you try and force him to say your together he is just going to cheat, and even if he does stick it out...long distance relationsips aren't worth it anyway...
So what should you do? Hate to say it, but after 2 years...it is time to say good bye. look at this as an opportunity to look for something better, with billions of people in the world..i can't imagine that he was the only one for you.
Cheer up, if he was going to let college get between him and you, he was going to let something else down the line end things. Better it happen now then later, when it would only hurt worse.
Good luck, I wish I had better advice...but it isn't the end of the world, only the start of a new road.
2007-02-13 01:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by Pete 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are very difficult,...and leaving for college is a big and new step. Even though it is painful, you have to let him have space at college. I knew couples who had broken up for the beginning of college and did end up back together because they loved each other and gave each other space. Otherwise, you will suffocate him when he needs to grow..that's what college is supposed to be about. Try to focus on how you want to grow on your own, and let him go for a while...
2007-02-13 01:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by John Henry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Maybe while he is gone to college you could bring the stereo back into the living room and then bring the shelf over to the desk so you wouldn't have that far to walk for the channel changer
See what is happening here... Getting on with your life..
Trrrry it!.... You'll like it.
2007-02-13 01:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by Angus. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's going to be gone for 4 years, what are you going to do while he's gone, lock your self in a room? thats not good for depression. your man is right for wanting to break up. i only say that because you will be far away and long distance relationships dont work. this way u 2 are breaking up on a civil level, instead of getting in a fight later.
if you have depression, dont make him suffer for it. dont play a guilt card on him, thats just low.
2007-02-13 01:47:58 · answer #7 · answered by March Mommie 07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may love him, but it sounds like he is giving you the brush off. Long distance relationships rarely work out. He sounds like he wants to sow his wild oats. I wouldn't dare wait on a man four years. There is plenty of guys out there.
2007-02-13 01:47:33 · answer #8 · answered by sissyjoe_2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ouch! i know how that feels.....once i found out i was moving to utah due to family emergency and it hurt me becuz i was scared that my boyfriend and i would break up but i ended up not moving and things got better.....listen: if he can say that and not worry bout how ur going to b feelings then i say u try hard to forget him,,,i no i no its hard becuz u guys had a lot of memories but if u start sooner than later things will get better for u....dont worry!...good luck!
2007-02-13 01:47:13 · answer #9 · answered by annawuvzchris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he leaving to collage in another state for a reason. I've been to collage and its wild and crazy!!!! NA-NA-NA-NA.... NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY-HEY-HEY-...GODDBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's going to forget about you in a day or 2.... hours!
2007-02-13 01:47:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋