Here is my deal, I have been trying to get pregnant for over 4 yrs. now, and have not been succesful. My brother and his wife tryed for 1 month and got pregnant. I am happy for them, but on the inside I'm mad as hell. How do I get over this feeling? I can't keep doing this, it's like a huge fight inside of me. On the outside I want everyone to believe I'm excited,and happy, but on the inside I'm sad, frustrated, angry, emotionally drained, and ashamed?
Please if anyone has been through any thing like this, I could use some advise.
2007-02-12 17:35:38 · 16 answers · asked by Jenn 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
First I want to Thank everyone who answers my question. I really do appreciate the feedback. It helps to read what other people have been through or are going through. I helps to know I'm not the only one, which may sound rude and I'm sorry if it does, but it is true.
I have been to doctors and have done different types of drugs. I have had only 5 periods in 4yrs.
I know for sure it is me and not my husband.
Again, Thank-You to Everyone!!
2007-02-13 09:02:21 · update #1
You are not a bad person. Those are normal reactions.
Just wait when they have the baby and you see how tired and stressed out they are from the huge responsibility. Maybe the baby will have colic and cry 24/7. Maybe she will become obese!
2007-02-12 17:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mt ~^^~~^^~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh l fully understand your pain, as l to tried for a very long time to get pregnant l didn't yet it seemed that everyone around me did, including family members. Family members are the hardest, do they you are trying??
Have you and your partner been checked out to see if there is a medical reason that you haven't fallen prgnant yet?? If not that would be a good place to start. For me once l got on some meds things started to happen.
You really need to allow yourself to feel what ever it is you feel. Bottling up all these emotions is really not good for you, your partner or your future child... Remember one other thing and that is you NOTHING to feel ashamed about...
Please don't be to hard on yourself you are human and you do have feelings.. take care and good luck...
2007-02-12 17:46:29 · answer #2 · answered by cailieco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a horrible person, I was like that when my baby sister announced her engagement - but as my long time love states "Everything happens for a reason" - put your faith in the Lord & he will do whats best for you - you may have to get over other hurdles in your life before experiencing parenthood - think of all the difficult times you may have gone through the past 4 yrs & ask yourself "would I have wanted my child going through that" - have FAITH!!!
2007-02-12 17:48:02 · answer #3 · answered by Cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not a horrible person! repeat you are NOT a horrible person! Struggling to do something that is supposed to be a natural part of love tears thru your soul. It hurts I know. My hubby and I tried for 5 years watching all of our friends have babies and more babies. We finally were reffered to a specialist by our GYN. So a couple of reject parent wanta bees went to see the Dr. and met a bunch of other people just like us. If felt better knowing we weren't alone in our struggle. So by the time we finally had our first baby..everybody elses kids were BABYSITTERS!! Good luck to you..and yes you will be the greatest Aunt in the world. and don't tell your sister in law but you will be a better parent then her! just wait
2007-02-12 17:47:36 · answer #4 · answered by momofspecialneeds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a horrible person because you would like to have a baby? No, you are not a horrible person. What you are feeling is natural. When i went through this, I "thought" that I was angry with my friends when they were getting pregnant and I wasn't. What it was ( for me) was that i was angry over "my feelings of wanting a baby" and not understanding why I wasn't getting pregnant. It wasn't that I wasn't happy for my friends.
Have you talked with your doctor about possible reason's why you haven't become pregnant yet?
At any rate, be kinder to yourself! You are not a horrible person because of what you are feeling!
Tammy W
2007-02-12 18:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by Tammy W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are absolutely normal and this does not make you a horrible person at all, just human! - Although, it will not be fair for you to resent your sister in law and brother for their blessing. Their gift came from God. You must also remember they did not fall pregnant to hurt you, but also just to start a family. Share in their joy and be happy for them, and be genuine about it. Your feelings of resentment will not stay hidden forever, someone is bound to pick up on it sooner or later and it will just cause unnecessary heartache. You should not feel ashamed of yourself - God knows what He is doing, just keep the faith and find peace within yourself and don't give up. I have not experienced what you are, and know that it must be an extremely difficult situation, and its so easy for all of us to give advice when YOU are the one that has to make the changes within yourself. Just try and stay strong and try not to over-do your enthuisiasm for them, it will inevitably come across as fake. Take it one step at a time. Keep safe and strong and I hope it all works out for you. xx
2007-02-12 17:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by Bite Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel I was never able to have children wanted one more than anything in the world. What got me through was I just kept telling myself that for some reason that I could not have a child. It helps but I am still sad. Just wait until you see your new neice or nephew.
2007-02-12 17:41:13 · answer #7 · answered by karen v 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a horrible person for feeling the way that you do. Maybe instead of being so concerned about your brother and his wife, its time for you and your wife to go to a fertility specialist to see if theres something you can do as you really want a baby.
2007-02-12 17:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by Terry Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sis in law hated me for getting pregnant when i wasn't trying and she had tried everything to get pregnant for the previous 3 years and couldn't. after i told her it was not my fault she couldn't get pregnant and it was unfair to take it out on usand she should be happy we were not experiencing the same heartbreak .she let up a little. i suggested she go on birth control for amonth then quit. so she did and now has 3 great kids
2007-02-12 17:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not horrible, just jelous. Keep trying, your efforts will pay off in the end. If you believe in God you could always pray ?
2007-02-12 23:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by Madness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋