My mom thinks i am a loser, really shy, i have no friends, and that i have problems. I actually have alot.....

Question

of friends. it hurts my feelings. i feel like her and my dad only love my older sister. they treat her so much better and always compare me to her. i am acctually extremely shy and i have no confidence..help

Answer 1

Tell them that you need more of their concern and support or that they will never get to see the beautiful grandchildren you will have when you get married to the person of your dreams ! Smart off to your mother like she has done to you, see if she likes it back. It should get her attention. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF ! Talk to your dad and tell him you need him to stand up for you too.

People are only doormats as long as they let other people treat them like one. That includes parents.

If your parents don't change, get the h(ell out of there when you turn 18 and live and lead your own life.

Answer 2

Maybe you could just tell them that they really hurt your feelings when they compare you to your sister. They need to realize that you are your own individual person and that everyone is different. Maybe they would like to meet some of your friends and that is why they say you don't have any. Parents can be great, or they can be unintentionally hurting you. But best get it out now with them instead of waiting til your older. All that does it build up resentment and hurtfulness and may cause problems with your sister as well. And, like youself for you who are. Have confidence in yourself even if you feel like no one else does. Get confidence through knowledge. Don't be afraid to try something new and find something you like and are good at. Even if EVERYBODY tells you it's impossible, it's not.

Answer 3

First of all, has your mother said this to you? Has she called you a loser or is this just what you think? If she did say this to you then you do have a problem and so does she. I don't feel that any mother should be comparing her children to each other. Every child is different and this is what makes that person. I don't know how old you are but if you are very young it is only natural to have these feelings. If your in High school then you need to talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Maybe they don't know how you feel. If this doesn't work how about asking a teacher or a counselor at school. If you could tell us a little more about you, maybe we could suggest something better.

Answer 4

How old are you sweetie? the reason i asked is because i was the same way when i was younger. I was extremely shy around every, i rarely ever talked and so on. My mom was real worried abt me to i always thought that she didnt love me either. Try to relax, go around school and introduce urself to ppl, come out of that shell and make friends. If you want some more advice or wanna start making friends thats what you need to do. My screen name is tommi_ghurl_2006 if you want some more advice. Good luck.

Answer 5

dude that's pretty tough, knowing she's your mom. but in the end man, what remains is what you think about yourself. it really doesn't matter who says what about you, because your brain belongs to you and your heart belongs to you, and you are responsible for beng the person you want to be. now, what do YOU want to be? have you asked that question? if yes, then do the things THAT person does. if you want to be a confident person, stay with great confident and real friends. let them pick you up. pray man. God doesn't see you as a loser. He sees you as a champion otherwise He wouldn't waste time bringing you to this world. Don't try to change how your mom looks at you, because that's no guarantee. But do decide WHO YOU WANT TO BE, AND BE THAT.

Answer 6

If you are a natural person you should try cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the only thing that has helped me with my horrible health anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/U68Yy

Your thinking determines your quality of life. Your thinking is what causes you these feelings:

Anxious, fearful, stressed or depressed
Constantly worried, or angry about something that is happening in your life
Struggling to overcome obsessive and negative thoughts.

If you change your thinking, you will change your life. This is the basic idea behind CBT for anxiety. The Cognitive part is where you learn nee methods and ways to change your same old habits and thinking patterns. If you keep thinking and expecting the worst – You will continue to suffer.

Answer 7

Parents sometimes show signs of caring for one child more than another. The usual reason for this is because your mother was probably a lot like you when she was your age and she can't cope with remembering the difficulties she went through. It's easier for her to relate to the child who does not reflect her own inadequacies and insecurities. It may be that your mother has such bad memories of her own teenage-hood that she can't separate it from her feelings for you.

She needs to recognize, however, that she is harming you by not overcoming her own problems and seeing what you're going through.

This is *her* fault and not yours. You are entitled to the support and love of both your parents. Supportive parents make it easier for shy children to overcome shyness and make friends.

Can you talk to your mother and ask her to help you overcome your shyness and find friendship? Maybe it will help her, to help you. You can work together to get past these difficulties.

If you can't talk to her, is there anyone else you can talk to? An aunt or cousin or even your older sister?

I went through the same kind of shyness myself when I was a teenager. I had many problems and no friends. I know it sucks and sometimes you feel like you are all alone in the world with no one who understands what you are going through. But really there are thousands of people going through exactly what you are going through.

One thing I want you to know. You aren't a "loser" because you're shy and have problems. Those are things that many kids deal with. It doesn't make you a loser. It makes you normal. It just means you need some help in learning how to make friends--and as you learn, you will begin to gain confidence naturally. It takes time. I am still a very shy person after all these years, but I have some friends and life is *much much* better than it was when I was a teenager.

But it helps if your parents will help and support you. Can you go to your dad for help? If you can't say the words, maybe you can write it down in a letter and give it to them.

I wish you luck in trying to get through to your mom. If she doesn't listen, you might try going to an online teen support group. You need someone on your side. Your parents *should* be on your side, but until they are, you must find others who are in the same boat you are. Their understanding and sympathy will help make things easier for you during this difficult time of your life.

Sometimes parents remember too vividly the miseries of their own childhoods and they can't look past that to help their own children. They sometimes even do this subconsciously. This problem needs to be brought to your mother's attention. If not by you, then by another adult, your father-- someone who can make her see she's hurting you and that she needs to change the way she treats you.

I wish you luck. The teen years are tough enough without the support of your parents. Just please don't give up, because life does get better. I believe yours will, too.

Answer 8

That must be very difficult to feel like that. If you haven't tried talking to them, tell them how you feel. They may not realize that what they are saying, and how they are saying it, are sending you the message that they love your sister more. Stand up for yourself and let them know that just because you are shy, doesn't mean that you don't have friends.
As far as confidence, focus on the things you are good at, and believe in yourself and don't worry about what others think.

Answer 9

I don't blame you for how you feel, but you must gain some confidence on your own. If you say you have a lot of friends, then more power to you. Don't let the negativity weigh you down. You can't change what people think, therefore, you shouldn't care. If it's not fair to you, then don't let it bother you. You have to have enough strength for yourself. What do you like about yourself? Then, focus on those things. If what others say is not true, then why should you care? You don't have to prove anything to anybody. Do you consider yourself a good person? Then, that's all that matters..............Be strong! Have faith in yourself. Like who you are! You don't need to compare yourself to anyone because you are who you are............and people must respect that........ If they can't see your good points, then it's not worth you crying over.........

Answer 10

It appears like an rather complicated subject which you're in appropriate now. perhaps you will desire to offer up traumatic approximately your social existence and think of of calling, like, a social worker. Your dad has no appropriate to handle you that way. nicely, you at the instant are not being thoroughly sparkling, so i'd desire to be overreacting, yet perhaps you will desire to communicate on your dad and ask him to offer up hitting you. perhaps the subject is that human beings see how your dad treats you and are nervous of having close to you via fact of your dad. good luck and don't hardship. issues will sparkling out at last. it is common which you're feeling that way, too. it is hormones. as nicely, you do no longer would desire to have a boyfriend.