I have been with my bf for 5 yrs we live together..We had a very good sex life until the past 3 months..I know he is not cheating on me he is super busy and is either at work school or with me! He cares about me very much, but I have had to bring up numerous times that when we are together that I feel like we are friends more sometimes thatn bf/gf. He said he doesnt feel like that , but I do because he never tries to have sex with me as much anymore and he knows I want to, but he doesn't hardly try anymore.. I love him so much and I would do anything to be with him, but when I do bring it up he says I am making it look like it is a job that he needs to do, we'd get in fights an he would say stuff like hes trying to change because all we ever did was just have sex all the time an nothing else. When he comes home from school he goes straight online an expects me to talk to him an he says hes not the talking type an makes me talk an it bothers me.
2007-02-12 16:26:15 · 15 answers · asked by Queen Ruzi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Something is wrong here sweetie, It's been five years many times after five years men tend to stray away. I know you think he may just be busy, and maybe he is but you should start looking into this a little deeper are you sure there couldn't be someone else? You should never just feel like your boyfriends friends you should always feel like his best friend and more! I would try talking to him not fighting with him, I would try and catch him off guard ask him if there's someone else if he goes into the normal, HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT conversation then tell him what you just told all of us, tell him that you love him but you want to be with him you want it to be like it used to be and you don't want to fight about it you just want to be happy, let him know that you noticed that he is acting a little different lately. Ask him if hes stressed out or there is something going on? If after you talk this out or maybe you have already tried this and he is still being distant I would watch out cause its very likely he is seeing someone on the side, if when you confront him or talk to him he try's to blame things on you and make you feel guilty then you really really really need to be careful cause he is more than likely cheating, Men are horrible and when they get used to being with someone they sometimes get bored and there mind wonders so they look for something new but they don't want to leave the one they have cause they know how good they've got it, just be carefull and watch your back always hun!
2007-02-12 16:38:43 · answer #1 · answered by Megz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People in long term relationships often experience a drop in the frequency of sex. It's almost impossible to keep up the bunny pace indefinitely, so you shouldn't judge the frequency by that measure.
However, there has to be enough for you to feel satisfied with the sexual aspect of the relationship.
Since you say you live together, one thing I would perhaps suggest is just initiating sexually arousing contact with him when you are together in the bed, rather than asking for it or expecting him to initiate it. If he's too tired in the evenings, consider initiating it in the mornings on a free weekend, perhaps by lightly playing with his genitals while lying beside him to give that "morning wood" a good head start.
Or you might try talking to him about exploring mutual fantasies you haven't yet explored. If you can find a way to give the sex a new twist, it may respark his interest.
Do you sleep naked with him? If not, I recommend it. It's hard for a guy not to get a woody when the girl is spooning up to him all nice and warm and naked.
2007-02-12 16:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey sweetie, sadly it seems he's become bored with having sex with you. What I'd do is try to spice things up a little.
do you own any lingerie? I'm sure you do. But maybe you could purchase something new, something exciting that you know would turn him on.
When you flirt with him, try new techniques and new methods to arouse him. One reason he may be bored is because every time he has sex with you it feels the same. What you should try are some different positions and places to have sex.
Ask him what seriously turns him on. Ask him what his lifelong fantasy has been with a girl, and try the best you can to fulfill it.
hope all works well for you....
sophia
2007-02-12 16:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by sophia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats too bad. Im sorry to tell you this, but there are several possible answers. you must face it though. He is either cheating on you and he is no longer physically attracted to you and probably thinks that you are annoying or he secretly is obsessed with porn and he masturbates to it and prefers other skanks on the internet over you. Every young man needs to be stimulated at least once every one or two days. If he doesnt desire sex, then he prefers his hand. Dont be hard on yourself though. Youve done nothing wrong. Maybe you should find a better guy.
2007-02-12 16:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by izamoth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey dont worry so much just wait and see what happens it could be i mean some peoplejust go through a little stage sometimes hun just try harder lol im just kiddin just dont worry bout it so much hell come around -leann- dont listen to these people its healthy and part of life dont change you r fine the way u are 5 years he loves you and is not cheating ive been with mine for two years 5 years wow thats so cool
2007-02-12 16:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by angelfoever2003 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You guys are goin through a ruff patch everyone goes through them, me and my boyfriend do all the time, try this tho, hold out on him when u do have sex, and then he will have to work for it. Your problem will pass trust me jus tbe strong and try to more talk not fight
2007-02-12 16:33:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a male and i was in the same boat
i felt like all my gf want was sex , and we broke up because of that.
try to be his soul mate, find out why he didnt want it. (me i didnt because i thought wasnt at the confortable level with her). but everyone is different. maybe hes just busy. then as a gf you should be patient
2007-02-12 16:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by Curious G 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He loves you more than you realize. He wants a deeper relationship with you than "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am." If you can't appreciate this, move on, and let him be with someone who deserves him.
2007-02-12 16:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He may not be having sex with u but he is getting it some ware
2007-02-12 16:31:42 · answer #9 · answered by Amie S 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
im sorry but it sound like he might be out there with someone
else. but time to talk and get the truth out in the open.
2007-02-12 16:31:25 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋