Am I Chasing a Non-Existent Relationship?

Question

I have been 'seeing' this girl for a couple of months...(We'll call her Thuy)...

For the record, I am African-American and she is Vietnamese-American...a manager at a Vietnamese sandwich shop.

She has recently started opening up to me, and her sister jokes with me each time I visit their restaurant. (One time, her sister said via a translator--another friend that frequents the restaurant).

A frequent customer (also Vietnamese) mentioned out loud to me about a month ago, 'She likes you!'

Since the girl I'm interested in works daily 6am-8pm, I haven't taken her out, but somehow I feel there is a mutual interest.

Her father and mother know who I am, and her mother tried to confer with me in Vietnamese. (I am learning Vietnamese with the 'love letters' I give to the girl, as she can't understand the letters in English).

A 'girlfriend' of Thuy told me to ask Thuy when I come into the restaurant, to ask for help with my Vietnamese, so I can learn.

I add more details.

Thuy is a bit shy, and she doesn't want her picture taken (although, I had given her mine...as a suggestion from her sister)...and she rejected a Valentine's Day gift of boots...(a fashion which I'm trying to break her into)...

I wanted to buy her something, but she told me to save my money.

A lot of friends, and frequent customers who visit the restaurant know who I am, say hello....and get along pretty well with me.

I even got 'boyfriend discounts' from Thuy...

I have told her I loved her, as well...

I don't want to smother her or overwhelm her, but I feel she is kinda keeping me at a distance...

Answer 1

first of all i congratulate you for taking that chance man. it's amazing that you're chasing another ethnicity (i don't mean to be racist, but this is the first time i've heard of a situation like this) and i wish you to succeed! you seem to be doing all the right things, and it's nice to see you're learning vietnamese, too! i can't complain about anything you've been doing- i bet the other customers are jealous with the attention you're giving thuy.

thuy's viewpoint? i think that she's contemplating such a relationship. It doesn't seem like she's ready to commit, but she obviously appreciates your attention and do NOT stop seeing her. let her see that she can spend the rest of her life with you, but TAKE IT SLOW or she will be really rushed by it all. that said, go for it.