There are some people i cannot stop hating. I know it's wrong but at night, i have dreams about killing them or hurting them. I sometimes don't know what i'll do when i meet them. I just cannot tolerate their idiocy and i get into fights. I want to calm down and not go down to their level but i think i need help.
2007-02-12 15:47:10 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Rage is a pretty base emotion. It usually grows out of THE most basic fear of all- that you will not be loved.
What other people do actually has no affect on who you are or how YOU are reacting to them. It is YOUR emotion. Not theirs.
It sounds like you want to control other people, which is basically what a fit of rage is. It's an adult temper tantrum and it's goal is to get other people to do what you want them to do (for example, like you, accept you into their group, love you, be impressed by you etc.)
Did you have a lot of temper tantrums when you were under five years old? Did you kick your parents or hit them when you didn't get exactly what you wanted? Why?
There are counselors therapists and all sorts of people who can talk to you about your personal experiences and why you feel such a strong need to try and control other people.
Get help with this now before you spend a lifetime pretending that this is every one else's problem but yours. Because it's you kiddo.
You are the source of your own happiness and your own anger.
It's not magic.
2007-02-12 15:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by Mimi Di 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know how you feel I have the same kind of trouble. I hate certain people for some period of time then it tends to develope toward other people who really give me the shits.
the thing that helps me not to do anything silly is I think about the people and the things that don't make me angry and I'm always looking at new and exciting things to do.
See a therapist would definatly help even if the only reason you go is to get something off your chest. It really helps to calm you down.
I always found that the best therapy was the therapy of my best mate, she always listens. Do you maybehave a friend that you could have a really good talk to every once in a while.??
2007-02-13 00:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you do not want to sink to their level. I am not trying to be insulting by this, because I am sure at one point or another I have been one of "those people," and so have you.
Just think, how many times have you done things or said things, that if not being blatantly stupid, may not have gone over that well with others? Then how many times might you have done things that offended someone, and you didn't even realize it?
My point is, almost no-one out there is deliberately trying to start fights, threaten you, mess with you, take advantage of your trust, or make your life miserable! And If they are, well then they probably are *idiots*. You have no need to defend yourself from every tiny infraction! Have a little faith in people, use your judgment. It is time to stop living in fear.
More likely people are simply just not thinking, or they just don't give a damn what other people are thinking at the moment. This does not mean they are out to get you, they simply don't care. Is it really fair to others to ask them to be forever dancing on pins and needles around you, just so they don't set you off? I think not.
What's more stupid, letting your mouth run occasionally? Or threatening, fighting, and driving away your friends, family, and neighbors? Picking fights with people you have never even met? Or risking prison by trying to kill someone just because they said the wrong thing at the wrong time? This type of behavior might be a good idea if you are a caveman, or a terrorist in Iraq, but here in America, (with all due respect,) it sounds pretty *idiotic* indeed. Just remember that getting angry and fantasizing, is hurting you far worse than they are.
Now this is not to say that it is not OK to defend yourself, should the need arise. If your life, that of your friends and family, your property, or your freedom is *directly* threatened. Then you are perfectly justified in defending yourself by any means. This of course goes without saying, but let me just state it for the record.
You are not crazy, and you *do* have control of your actions. It's time to stop feeling like a ticking time bomb; time to stop time to stop feeling guilty, and wondering who you are going to hurt next. It does not have to be this way. Take some counseling, do some anger management. Might I also suggest some good martial arts, or perhaps some Tai-Chi, or Yoga. these will help you develop respect for yourself and others, and help you channel your anger and energy into something positive.
Whatever you decide to do, I am pulling for you; good luck!
~Donkey Hotei
Incidentally, I do not agree with what Mimi said; it is not simple a case of "adult temper tantrum", as those having temper tantrums do not lay awake at night, plotting against people they dislike. I can only speculate that in the past you have been in a number of pretty stressful situations where you felt your only option was to lash out violently. Now, even though that is in the past, you are still having trouble getting over that mode of thinking. (I am only guessing here....)
2007-02-13 01:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by WOMBAT, Manliness Expert 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need someone to talk to about it. Therapy would be a real help. Also, I don;t know if it's entirely possible, but if you can, avaoid those people who push your buttons. I do that at work. There's one person who I'd like to put in a bus and send over a cliff, so whenever I see her I just turn and walk away. If Iknow she's going to be in one place, I don;t go there until I'm sure she's gone. Being around her ruins my day and she's not worth the aggravation.
2007-02-12 23:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by tranquility_base3@yahoo.com 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grab something like a pillow and beat on that. What also helps is counting to 10. This gives you time to calm down, think about the situation, and walk away. Mo.
2007-02-12 23:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by Mo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is time to get some help with this if you take this hatred to your dreams. You have to calm down or you will wind up in jail. Get some anger management therapy so you don't wreck your life.
2007-02-13 00:06:28 · answer #6 · answered by phylobri 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do need help like a form of anger management but first you need psychiatric counseling and you have to try to open u and be very honest so that they can see where this frustration comes from...
2007-02-12 23:52:16 · answer #7 · answered by ♥queen b♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I read "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men." It was the mirror that started to change my thinking.
2007-02-15 21:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy.
2007-02-12 23:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by ShagRug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a pair of boxing gloves and a heavy bag and beat on it every night before bed you'll feel better
2007-02-12 23:56:31 · answer #10 · answered by malone1423 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋