1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
2007-02-12 15:31:57 · 36 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
thats good for the heart this time of morning tink keep posting luv 10/10
2007-02-12 20:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good lines..#4 was a sleeper that came to life quickly..all the rest are #1 - #10
2007-02-19 12:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by jc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like number 9 and 17 the most. funny
2007-02-12 16:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
great, I've printed these off. I love these jokes based on witty language as they have greater longevity than the offensive ones, which just become tedious. Read this lot aloud, quickly, and you sound like tommy cooper. Marvellous.
2007-02-15 10:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by amdby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some were hilarious 10/10
2007-02-12 20:10:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love no 1
2007-02-12 15:58:06 · answer #6 · answered by simarvld 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked the last one, nice play on words. The others were good too.
2007-02-12 16:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by Nick R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are pretty cute. I like #4 and #9.
2007-02-12 15:57:01 · answer #8 · answered by alandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant answer this question im on the floor laughing he Lol :)
I like all of them they are all soooooooooooooooooo good excellent.
2007-02-17 23:26:30 · answer #9 · answered by julie p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL
Still funny although I posted the same a short while ago.
Keep smilin'.
2007-02-12 19:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋