Okay I have 2 kids with two different guys and I just recently started talking to my first childs father and I am with the second childs father and he took my daughter in as is own. I am talking to my ex and he hasn't had anything to do with his daughter, but we have been talking about the past and he said "I AM SORRY" which I have never heard him say to me or anybody else. Anyways I started getting feelings back for my ex and I don't know what to do because I do love the one I am with but there are problems we have been together for 3 years and he has hit me once and he drinks beer too much and before I started talking to my ex I was thinking about leaving....I am just so confused...What do you guys think?The only guys I have loved and have a child with both of them!!!!
2007-02-12 14:56:51 · 22 answers · asked by Chandra H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you can manage, be on you own. In other words, leave the guy you are with bit don't go back to the other. You don't need either one of them. There are many nice, good guys out there and you are limiting yourself with these two.
2007-02-12 15:04:18 · answer #1 · answered by luvmykids 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Chandra, I reckon you're making a bit of mess here, slow down girl !! Cool it with the ex, just for now put him on hold cos he'll wait. I mean, seriously, he's apologised !!! Major coup!! Definitely he'll be there when you sort the other one. As far as your current squeeze goes just don't take his cr*p and tell him like it is. You know like say something like, "Ditch the beer and grow a brain or we'll just have to call it quits cos I'm so over your little girl tantys it isn't funny. The sooner you grow up the better!!" Make sure you mean it though cos guys can pick insincerity, they get good gut instincts. No swearing, no yelling, just say it nice and normal and walk. Go do the vacuuming or something so he can't engage you in more talk. Let him chew on that one!! That way, you'll know if you really do want to be there or not. If you can't bring yourself to do it then you know you care about him and his beer guzzling ways just a tad too much to risk losing him !!! Good Luck
PEACE
2007-02-12 15:07:29 · answer #2 · answered by Minx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is simple...the guy that you are curently with has a drinking problem and has hit you once it can ONLY get worse why don't you leave him and give yourself and your daughter a better life...if your child's first father wants to get back togther try to work things out...Whatever you decide to do ultamitly think of your children and what is best for them...good luck
2007-02-12 15:02:47 · answer #3 · answered by Jane_Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You thought about leaving but something held you back? right. so now you have an oppourtunity to be with your ex...so now gives you a reaosn to break up. No. Maybe none of these guys are right for you. First your ex is and ex for a reason.- u need to requestion that. People do change, i beleive it but if you been with this guy for 3 years and the first kids dad hasnt been around what kind of man is that, how is he going to take care of you and your child together, yet alone will he welcome your other kid in with open arms like the man your with now? Is normal to get feelings back for him, that's when you take the mature step to distance yourself, until you are fully moved on/ or capable of communicating with him not on a romantic level.
2007-02-12 15:02:40 · answer #4 · answered by Beauty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old baby daddy drama, all I can tell you is worry about your kids first before yourself. Think about the best situation to put them in, they don't need to see you be abused by no one.Woman have a tendency to go back and forth with their children's father's, due to the fact they want to work it out so the children have two parents. Don't go back and forth, decide like I said what's best for your kids,and second what's best for you. Don't be confused about what men say, if he hasn't been around and helped you,he could be acting on his own selfish needs, be sure before you deal with him that he's going to be there for you and your children.Personally maybe you need to drop both of them zero's and get a hero, I never played the daddy card if their no good,I raised my children by myself and they turned out great. And I was alot happier,because I didn't have to deal with the aggravation their fathers. Good luck
2007-02-12 15:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by glorene b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you once he will hit you again, especially if he drinks! I don't think that any of the guys are good for you. The first guy didn't want anything to do with his kid? That is sad. Please do yourself a favor and be on your own for a while and do what's best for your children. you don't want your kids brought up in a bad environment. Find someone that will be a good father and role model for your children, and treat you with respect and love.
2007-02-12 15:04:58 · answer #6 · answered by Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your boyfriend has issues and you shouldn't let him abuse you in any way. Your children don't need to be in that environment either so think about what is best for all of you. It doesn't sound like you're convinced that your ex is true because you're confused so don't worry about him right now. Besides, why is he sorry NOW? You need to focus on getting yourself and your kids out of the situation you're in now, especially since you've already been thinking about it. I don't think deciding on which man to be with is your problem right now. It sounds like you need to seperate yourself from all of the drama and get a fresh start.
2007-02-12 15:17:55 · answer #7 · answered by VWoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your going to end the relationship with the one your with, then end it. But don't just hope from one man to another, especially with children involved. When you have children, your life becomes ALL about them, not yourself. I would suggest breaking it off with the one your with, and taking it VERY slow with the other. . . remember you broke up for a reason.
Also, there is never ever any excuse for a man to hit a woman, that's why you should leave him, not for another man.
2007-02-12 15:02:46 · answer #8 · answered by lady_blu_iz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....it is your final call to make obvioulsy, but keep in mind you had problems with the first guy to begin with otherwise you would not have broken up. And 'recently started talking' gives me the impression the first dad was a deadbeat who didnt stand up to the plate and be involved with his child so he is not worthy of your time....
2007-02-12 15:00:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just do this....take yourself out of the equation and think about your children. What do you think is best for them? I don't think they want to be snatched around from one place to the next. You act as if the guy your with now is a loser.....well what about the guy that neglected his child for 3 years??? I feel sorry for your kids....
2007-02-12 15:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by Motivated 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋