Here's the problem: I'm an atheist, but everyone else in my family are Christians. I can't tell them, because they are paying for my college education, and this is one thing I refuse to give up. However, I'm tired of being forced to go to church on Sundays, and I'm tired of hearing certain members of my family put down others because they have different beliefs or are homosexuals. What should I do?
2007-02-12 14:19:05 · 24 answers · asked by ? 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am not an Atheist, but neither am I a Christian. Here is what I can tell you: if you can not afford to tell them the truth (because of whatever reason) at this point, then just do what you CAN do until you get out of college.
Just like the saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink", I say to you that they can lead you to the church, but they can not force you to listen, they can not force you to pray, all they can do is force you (if you call it being "forced", as it's your choice to stay this path) to sit in the church. The church is just a building, just a building with a person standing at the front droning on and on. Surely you've had experience with long boring lectures in college - so I know you can manage to make it through, because you made it through your class.
As far as hearing your family members put down others, you do NOT have to stand for that. You just say, "you may have those beliefs, I do not challenge you on that, but you sit there claiming to be a Christian, and yet - as far as I can tell at this moment - you are acting NOTHING like Christ. I will not sit here and listen to you put down your fellow humans, regardless of what God says he thinks of them. That is for God alone to judge."
You don't have to believe it to say it, goodness knows I don't, but what is important (if keeping up the guise of being a Christian until you're out of college is your goal) is to say it in terms that THEY believe, shun them for their horrible actions, and let them know that you will not stand for their hypocrisy. If they are going to claim to be Christians, expect them to act the way they describe Jesus to have acted.
2007-02-12 14:30:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I used to be in a situation rather similar to this. If you really feel like your college tuition is threatened (as I believed mine to be), then, from a purely pragmatic point of view, you may have no option other than to grit your teeth and tolerate your family until you graduate. However, it is NOT your responsibility to be enthusiastic about your religion, and especially not to join in the ostracization of homosexuals or people with other beliefs.
I never really "told" my family that I am an atheist. Instead, I let it be inferred. For example, in dinner conversation, if I ever heard something that was particularly outlandish from a non-religious perspective (for example, that all gay people go to hell), I would call them out on it. Why would a loving God create a group of people who are predetermined to go to hell? Why would God allow homosexuality to exist if it were so wrong? If they think that people choose to be homosexual, ask them if they really think that people just wake up one day and go "I think today I'm going to piss off my family, church, and society by being gay!" And so on.
As a reasonable human being, you have a responsible to be intolerant of bigotry and religiously-motivated hatred. However, you do not have a responsibility to be completely open with a family that might reject you on ultimately arbitrary grounds. As I would tell any other atheist, your only ultimate resonponsibility is to, in all things, be reasonable.
2007-02-12 14:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by Chris R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick it out!!! Try going away to college so you don't half to be around them. Now that day you can support your self and be on your own. Is the day you can send them some Atheist books!!
A few hours a week is better then working a few years to pay for school!!!!! Just put your mind somewhere else when your their. Picture the people naked or something.
2007-02-12 14:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are over 18, you could always move to a student resident hall or an apartment - that way they will still pay for your education, and you can be away from them. Or transfer to a campus in another county or state.
Otherwise, you may have to put up with them until you graduate and can leave home.
Or you can tell them to please act like christians or they will be going to hell. Its ok to threaten them with hell because they still beleive in it.
LAstly, you may have to give up your education if you feel you have to move out now for your own sanity & peace of mind. But be sure to tell them how hypocritical and bigoted they are as you do.
2007-02-12 14:34:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what I did, I was forced to attend church every sunday until I was 16 - I told my mother that I didn't believe in anything but she didn't accept that as a reason for skipping church, so I got a part-time job and told my boss to schedule me every Sunday morning - it worked, my mom thought it was important for me to work so she let me miss church, never went ever again (almost 10 years later).
My mom now accepts my beliefs, she might be saddened by it, but she doesn't talk about it, my sisters, however, are very angry at me and constantly lecture me about religion trying to convince me that i'm wrong.
just come up with a good reason for not going to church on Sunday if you're not going to tell them you're atheist.
2007-02-13 07:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by ALeC.... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you're willing to sell out to christians then go ahead but for a true experience try growing a sack instead. Don't let school get in the way of your education. Besides there are many other sources of money out there. I would rather pay interest than take blood money. If they are true christians shouldn't they love you no matter what your beliefs?
2007-02-12 14:30:02 · answer #6 · answered by teeyodi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have this problem, although Im not an athiest, my beliefs are different to my familys. When I got really sick of their prejudices I ended up explaining to them that although I respected their beliefs I really didnt want to hear about them all the time and that I expected them to respect my beliefs even if they didnt agree with them. It worked for me although I suspect that I am considerably older than you.
2007-02-12 14:27:50 · answer #7 · answered by minimouse68 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How sad that you could lose the education by being honest about who you are...
Well, could you somehow make it out that you have homework or projects for school to work on every weekend and need all the time to devote to that? If they can be convinced that someone can "believe" just as much outside that building...and you need to focus on school work...
2007-02-12 14:25:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your family really so cruel that they would refuse to pay for your college if you revealed that you were an atheist? That's cruel. You should be allowed to believe whatever you want and not be punished because of it.
2007-02-12 14:24:33 · answer #9 · answered by Abby C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a bit cruel to trick your family. If you really believe they will stop funding your education because you're not Christian then you would have a clearer conscience if you paid for it yourself, even if you had to get two jobs.
But if you're happy deceiving them, I would say going to church is a small price to pay for a free education.
2007-02-12 14:33:15 · answer #10 · answered by God Fears Me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋