I've dated a girl with child for the past few years...long distance to complicate matters. Now were face with a fork in the road, she wants to either part ways or move states with her son to live with me...(I've been quite independant for a long time)
I'm trippin because not only do I fear the impact/possible resentment from the child...but I also have some doubts about us, not reassured by the limited snippets of time we get in our present arrangement.
If it was only her I'd have taken this risk long ago and see where things ended up; and she is trying to reassure me that its not a big deal and does not want to walk away without at least giving this a try.....
ps thanks for reading all that...
2007-02-12 14:08:40 · 13 answers · asked by platypus rex 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's a BIG risk to take with a child - you should walk away, or move closer to her if you want to keep things going. She needs to be an adult, and put her child first here...doesn't sound like she is, so good for you for being concerned.
Plus, when you have doubts - moving in together only seems to magnify them, and lead to unhappy people.
2007-02-12 14:12:46 · answer #1 · answered by physicsmom04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been with her for a few years...you should know where you heart lies. If you can't commit to her 100% like she and her child deserve...then you should walk away. But, if you think you can do so, then she does deserve the chance. Is there anyway you could arrange to spend a week or so in the same place before you made the official decision just to see how the dynamic would be?
2007-02-12 14:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by bgmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a girl for 2 years as a long distance relationship and it is not fun. You have to ask yourself: "Do you love her?" If yes, then go for it. If the fact of the child bothers you, then it really has nothing to do with the long distance relationship and more the fact of the child. Don't lose something good because you fear the unknown.
2007-02-12 14:13:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahh but it is a big deal when a child is involved ! you said you have doubts. don't do anything in that case. search your heart, find out how you feel about her and her child. talk to the child !!! this is a big move for all of you . listen if she is so fast to say its not a big deal because of the child think again about what she is saying. ask your self what is HER relationship with that child and where is the father because you know that father is going to turn up again here or there one day . look at the facts and keep your emotions out of it. if she is emotional then i would look at that too. is there pressure for her to move? are her bills paid? etc.. all things to look at. where is her family and why wold she up and leave her town ? think think think !!! the good news is you don't have to do anything today . maybe consider checking out a counselor for yourself and see where your head is at in this particular thing. best of luck to you my friend .
2007-02-12 14:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by cherylanne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the fact that you have doubts about it tells me that you are NOT ready. That's not a bad thing. Maybe you will be in a few months or a year. Don't push yourself to do something you might regret in the future.
Put you first!
GL!
'-)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArINuFs7pI_lldVtKdN0eJ3sy6IX?qid=20070212180624AAEPkJu
2007-02-12 14:12:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get in or get out.
You knew about the child from the start. You really can't us him as the scape goat. Look inside yourself to find the problem
2007-02-12 14:11:54 · answer #6 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to really think about how you feel about this girl. if you love her and want to be with her then go for it! but if you don't see a future with her then maybe it's not worth pursuing. It's really a madder of how you feel. and when it comes to her son, i think it's better for him if you don't want this to back out now then to let him get attached to you and if it doesn't work out. good luck with this.
2007-02-12 14:20:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. You already have some doubts. Take that as a sign.
2007-02-12 14:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by Emmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen mate, you're not gonna find the answer here. You can only find that one inside of you.
2007-02-12 14:11:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will walk away
2007-02-12 14:10:49 · answer #10 · answered by Justin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋