I have a five year old son who has ADHD. It is really hard to explain simple words to him in order to make him understand. The word that got me today was responsibility...his glasses fell off of his face and instead of stopping to pick them up he just kept playing and they ended up getting stepped on and bent. Another word is respect. I am having a real hard time with him and refuse to give up on him. Please, help me to help him....Thanks in advance.
2007-02-12 14:01:52 · 11 answers · asked by amandaleah72653 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Thanks everyone for your advise so far, but maybe u don't understand the question...my question is not how to deal with him, but how to verbally explain the definition of "responsiblity" and "respect" and other important words like that...Again, I appreciate the input so far, really...keep it coming
2007-02-12 14:33:57 · update #1
Thanks guys for all the solutions and help that you have all offered so far. All of the suggestions are good ones and I will do my best to use them. You don't know how much I appreciate everyone's advice. Thanks again and keep the answers coming.
2007-02-13 07:27:41 · update #2
some easy words for that would be job or something that you should always do .
im sorry for the kid
2007-02-12 14:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by Mn Guy =) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At that age, he's still seeing the world through his own eyes. Both "responsibility" and "respect" are kind of empathatic terms, so young children often have a hard time understanding the concept.
When you try to define what they mean, put it in terms he'll understand from his self-centered (not a negative connotation, only meaning that he isn't mature enough to see the world from the perspective of others, for the most part) mindset.
For example:
"You remember how you felt when your brother said you were stinky? When he did that, he wasn't being respectful. Did that hurt your feelings? You know, it hurts Momma's feelings when you don't respect my feelings." *****
At that age, of course, the most effective way to define concepts like respect and responsibility is to act them out, and then clarify that the words for that are "respect" or "responsibility". Also, if he DOES do something that is really responsible or really respectful, let him know that that's what he's doing.
"Concept Words", which is what my husband call words like this, are hard to get children without learning disabilities to understand, and EXTREMELY tough to get children who have some problems to get.
Good luck!
2007-02-13 01:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what I have done in the past with my son. I have taken a toy of his and asked him that if I throw this away will it make you upset? He ofcourse said yes. I told him that if he would like to keep the toy it is his responsibility to make sure that toy is put up when he is finished with it. It took a few times of hiding it.. but he caught on. I know you are talking about his glasses, but if you give him an example that he will relate too it will work. Let him know that his glasses are just like his toys.. he has to have them in order to see correctly. The same with the toys..he has to have the toys to play. As for the respect, well that is alot different. I have given alot of examples for respect.. like when he does not follow directions I mention to him that he is not respecting me. Or if he slams toys to together he is not respecting the toys and I will have to take them away till he can play right. If he talks back to me I let him know that is not respecting me or he is not obeying me and he catches on. ADHD is difficult I know. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-02-13 01:05:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could use pet care as an example for responsibility. Give an example of feeding or cleaning up after it to get the point across. And respect you could remind him that the way that he treats people should look like the way that he wants to be treated. Another way is using the words "be nice to others and they will be nice to you" and use examples like please and thank you. Just some suggestions hope they help
2007-02-12 17:49:33 · answer #4 · answered by sweet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard for kids (and some adults) to understand big concept words like that. I don't agree that they are simple words. Sometimes you have to just back up and get specific about the behavior that you expect. It is ok to say, "treat me nicely and gently and use a gentle voice with me" instead of saying "you need to respect me." At my girls' kindergarten they teach 'freedom with responsiblity' and I don't think most of the kids really get the big words. But they understand the list of behaviors required, like "keep your hands feet and body to yourself."
2007-02-12 16:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by msgquixo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Role play - hands on.
Kids, especially those who are very active/busy/disabled need hands on. Role playing gets through to kids that age because they can see themselves as part of something.
It has to be short, to the point, and well planned. You don't want to stumble!
When my daughter was younger, she had a LOT of problems. They were suggesting she was ADHD. If I had something to explain to her, I would get her in a quiet room with low lighting. I would put my hand on her leg and start with simple questions. Touch is a big one too, and eye contact. [she wasn't ADHD - she had food allergies and is gifted - another long story!]
What happens if your glasses break? Would that make me [the mom] upset? You are in charge of your glasses, to make sure they don't break. Responsibility is taking care of your glasses so they don't break.
A little bit of repetitiveness as well as getting him to say it back to you in a different way. [not parroting - showing he understands]
Ask him things like "Would I leave my glasses on the floor?" "Why not??" and he can answer - THATS NOT RESPONSIBLE!
Good luck :)
2007-02-12 16:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by PinkPrincessNerd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son has ADHD. I started teaching him how to lift and HOLD something heavy, starting at age 5. A bucket of water will do. By holding the bucket for 1 minute, he learned to focus on the bucket, and then focus in life. He still lifts and HOLDS, at 15. But now it is weights.
2007-02-12 14:10:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My nephew with ADHD was going through the same thing... my sister-in-law enrolled him in Tai Kwon Do for real young kids.. at a dojo that specialized in working with "energetic" kids... He really flourished... and respect and responsibility are two things they really stress in martial arts... and it's confidence building!
Remember, though, that respect and responsibility are things ALL parents struggle to teach their kids.... has nothing, really, to do with the fact that he's ADHD...
2007-02-12 14:05:46 · answer #8 · answered by Amy S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what I would suggest explaining:
"responsiblity" means "job"
it is what you have to do, even if you don't feel like doing it
"respect" means "to treat people the way you want to be treated"
be nice to mommy, just as you want mommy to be nice to you
do not hit the kitty, you do not want the kitty to hurt you
2007-02-12 15:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by Athenart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually examples are the best way to explain words to a child. For example, love. If you ask a kid what love is, he/she'll usually describe something, not the actual emotion.
2007-02-12 15:01:13 · answer #10 · answered by Christine P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋