Ok this guy has liked me ever since him and my friend have broke up which has been like 1 month and something like 3 weeks anyway he wants to ask me out on valentines day and I don't know what to do. I guess he's kinda cute and all but it’s just the fact that he has been with my friend. I know this is kinda crazy but it’s the thought of being with a guy that has done stuff with a friend you know? I want to let him down easy I know it’s going to hurt him any way I do it but I just don’t want him to hate me if I say something wrong to hurt him real bad, please help me!
2007-02-12 13:53:48 · 25 answers · asked by I <3 Leone 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is going to be tough, but just tell him honestly that you are uncomfortable seeing him since he was with a friend of yours (especially so recently). Tell him you don't want to risk losing the friendship with his ex and that you know this would really hurt her.
I guess before you say all this you have to decide if your friend is really more important to you than the guy. It sounds that way from your description.
Good luck.
2007-02-12 13:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by David H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a thoughtful question.
He'll feel sad he's rejected, that's what happens when rejection happens. Not being accepted hurts. You can be courteous and kind in the way that you do it so that he doesn't feel it's about him, but it's just not the right time.
Say something neutral that neither devalues him or make him upset that it was YOU in particular that has a problem. Just say:
"I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now" or...
"I knew you were going to ask me out, but I don't want to be dating anyone right now." or...
"I'd rather just go out as a group with all of us (his friends and your friends) together, but I don't want to single date right now."
"That's very sweet for you to think about asking a girl out on Valentine's Day, I'm just not available to be dating right now."
You could always say, "maybe some other time." at the end of all those phrases. He'll most likely ask you when, and you can just say, "well, it's not a good time right now. I don't know when, I guess we'll just have to see."
It's very noble of you to think of your friend, and yes, it would seem odd that he would want to date you after your friend.
2007-02-12 14:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand completely! Ive been in many situations like these OK hears what u do ....when he ask u out all u gotta do is tell him your not interested in dating right now dont give him any sort of reason just let him no strait up...and if 4 some reason he ask y u say these exact words" well u see u and my Friend just got out a relationship and i would feel kinda weird because it seems like I'm betraying my Friend , u understand don't u ?) say it as innocent as possible he wont suspect a thing after u r finish tell him u hope that u guys can still remain friends.
hope every thing works out 4 u
2007-02-12 14:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by jazzyj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that you could grow to like him when you know him? If really no then take him aside after school or during break somewhere quiet and say that he seems like such a great guy but you'd rather build up a friendship than a relationship with him. If you do actually like someone else mention that your feelings are already elsewhere and give him a friendly hug. Goodluck :]
2016-05-24 03:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say....
....i really feel like its best we stay friends!
....or ive had a great time being your freind and i would like to continue that way!
...or you are a great friend and i feel like if we move past that than things wont be the same.
....or im just not ready for a boyfriend!
...or i think it would be wierd if i dated you being that you have dated my friend already.
...or i think that would be the wrong thing to do to (friends name)
Good luck!!!♥
2007-02-12 13:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by Dance♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy. Tell him you think he's cute, but you just can't go out with a guy who you know has done it with your friend.
Thank him for showing interest, but no thank you.
2007-02-12 14:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
say: look, i like u too. but its the thought of u being with my ex and everything. it would make it kinda awkward and everything, wouldn't it? just tell him the truth. he'll get over it. i had to let down a lot of guys and they got over it.
2007-02-12 13:57:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop it before it starts. I'm so sorry there is no way to do it without hurting him, but im sure that there will be some way to do it with the least possibly pain involved.
2007-02-12 13:58:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can't be done. He will be hurt. BUT you can minimize it by being polite, direct, clear but friendly. Be honest and straightforward but do it in a nice manner.
2007-02-12 13:57:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start making wedding plans and talk a lot about kids oh, maybe throw in that you think you might be pregnant. That should do it!
2007-02-12 13:56:31 · answer #10 · answered by Fireman T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋