i have a 4year old son, and he goes to childcare three days a week and he keeps bringing toys home from childcare and other kids cars. i feel so embarrassed and i keep taking the things back. how can i stop him from doing this. he has plenty of toys he is spoilt. i tried punishing by taking all his toys off him, that just made him act more of a little brat. what can i do. help?
2007-02-12 13:45:26 · 26 answers · asked by Anne 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
when he takes somrthing , have him return the item to the teacher and say i took this without your permission. i did the same thing at a local 99 cent store and my son never did it again. also explain to him exactly where you end up if he keeps that up
2007-02-12 13:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by ricki 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I would say the care center isn't trying to keep him from taking the toys home. My nephew would do the same thing until my sister would make him leave the toy there no matter how much he screamed and eventually he stopped. Now it is only the occasional dinasour. He is only 4 punishing him wont do it I think because he isn't trying to steal he is just taking what he wants. I would say talk to him about it and explain it to him each time you pick him up and don't let him take it no matter what. In about a week or so the problem should be gone. Hopes this helps.
2007-02-18 16:21:07 · answer #2 · answered by ~Beauty is Beautiful~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would make a big deal out of checking to see if he had the toys BEFORE leaving the daycare. He will eventually get tired of having to sit there while you go through his bag and check his pockets to make sure he doesnt have the toys that dont belong to him. In other words, try to prevent the toy from even making it to the house. And when you do find that he has a toy that doesnt belong to him, then make a big deal out of him taking it to the teacher, and have him tell her that he was trying to take something home that doesnt belong to him, and that he is sorry, and he will work on it not happening again. And after he goes a couple weeks without taking, stop doing it, but, do random checks, or just ask him if he has anything that doesnt belong to him.
If he still continues to try to bring the things home, you could tell him that for every toy he brings home, he will have to give one of his favorite toys to the daycare to stay. Now, it doesnt nessicarily have to stay, because i know how expensive toys are, but you could put it away, where he wont see it for awhile. and see if that helps. Good luck.
2007-02-13 08:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by onearkansasmommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not always easy to explain things to a four year old, but maybe if you had him take the toy back to the person he took it from, he might understand how the other child feels. Perhaps even taking one of his toys, since you said he has a lot, each time he brings one home that is not his, maybe that will help him understand how the other kids feel too? I definitely think he needs to be the one to give the toy back though, not you
2007-02-20 07:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by countryfrog6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make HIM give back the toys. Maybe try axplaining to him that those toys don't belong to him and that he cannot just choose to take them. My daughter did this a few times...I really don't think in their mind they are "stealing". They just want that particular toy and don't know any different than to take it. You could also maybe ask the teacher if he could choose one small toy each time to bring home and return it on the next class. That way, he specifically PICKS a toy and doesn't just take it AND, he learns to bring it back as well (depends on the teacher)! Hope this helps! Good Luck! 4 year olds can be challenging!
2007-02-17 21:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by Renee D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still doesn't grasp the whole concept of stealing. but he does understand that those toys are not his.
Where does he put the toys that you don't notice?
You could try to check every time you pick him up and make him leave the toy at the daycare and explain him that he will be able to play with it next time he goes there.
Don't worry it's probably just a face, just don't give up trying to teach him because then he can think its ok.
2007-02-19 04:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by cristi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take all his toys away but try taking one or a couple & tell him @ the end of the week if he doesn't try to bring other toys home, he can have 'em back? Good luck! {hug}
I like the idea the one person said of having him hand it to the daycare teacher & saying sorry he took something that's not his & letting him know again that the toys need to stay where they belong. If each child took a toy home, the toys wouldn't be there for them to play with the next time they go. Also, maybe try rotating his toys. That way he won't get tired of seeing all the same ones to his access. Pull down some that you've put away & they may seem new again?
Yes, and tell him it makes other kids sad when they notice their toys are missing just like he would be sad. Try re-enforcing the empathy respect. :)
2007-02-12 13:52:45 · answer #7 · answered by Nocine 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I totally agree with "onearkasasmommy" because I had to do the same thing. It worked for me. Be sure to let him know that it is not ok, but definitely check before leaving. My son soon realized it wasn't worth the hassle.
And don't feel embarrassed it is pretty common for 4 year olds to want something they don't have. I was embarrassed at first because I was thinking "where did he learn to steal!?" because I sure know it wasn't from home. But you have to realize at 4 they don't have the full grasp of having to pay for things and they don't know that stealing is so wrong. He is just learning, trying to figure out how to get what he wants. Let him know how wrong it is, and make him take it back and apologize to the person whom it belongs. Then be sure to do a good check before you leave.
2007-02-17 16:26:40 · answer #8 · answered by Angel D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off you need to stop taking the toys back he needs to do this he then needs to apologies to the teacher and student and parent of the child who's toys he is taking this may help him see why this is a big deal and he may be very nervous about this and so it may stop it also you might explain that for every toy he takes from the school he will lose one of his to you and remove it also if before he leaves everyday you need to search him and his back pack and if you find one then he needs to tell the teacher and do his time out right then and there so that he wont forget what he did when you try it later also talk about why he is taking it at his age its not so much stealing as much as not wanting to share if he has it then no one else can use it so when he comes back he know where it is and has it all to him self ! good luck and know after 15 years of working in daycare and running my own this is normal and not a sign your doing anything wrong! a lot of kids do this!
2007-02-12 13:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Find a way to embarrass him for taking these things. He will be less likely to take a toy again if you make him return it and apologize to the child he took it from, and also to the teacher. Follow through for a few days and check him for stolen items, and repeat the process of returning and apologizing until he gets the idea.
2007-02-12 13:55:20 · answer #10 · answered by Vakari 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's Only 4, he can't formulate the intent to "steal" the toys. He is just "bringing them home". You need to impress on him the importance of respecting other peoples property. Don't make this a "theft" thing. Sit him down and have a talk with him about how he'd feel if someone took his favorite toy home with them. If all else fails a swat on the butt usually helps.
2007-02-12 13:48:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋