Why am I still grieving for my cat ?

Question

my black cat Oswald has been dead since 5th May 2006 and im still grieving over him
how do i overcome this grieving as its not doing my depression any good as my depression has improved a little

i still think of the good times i had with him but yet a still grieve

how can i get over this ?

Answer 1

I am really very sorry to hear of your loss, and I am utterly disgusted by the cruel and pointless first answer. Please try and ignore his dim, pathetic, trolling nonsense.

The death of a much loved pet can be devastating and an enormous loss. Our pets often become like a member of the family, a companion, a friend, - and if you were close to your pet it is normal to have the reactions to it's loss that you may experience in the death of a person i.e. shock, disbelief, numbness, anger, pain, hurt, sadness, guilt and overwhelming grief. Please don't feel alone and isolated - there are people who understand.

I reckon that our spirit lives on after the body is gone. I know that doesn't help when you want your little cat to be with you, where you can see him and hear him purr. I understand exactly how it feels. It hurts. I had a cat, Bluey, who died on Christmas Eve when I was little, and our kitty Dink, who we had for 11 years, died on December 13th last year. Dink's twin, Puffin, died back in 1995 and that was hard going to say the least. I lost my 2 day old kitten, Squiggles, on January 17th last year. It is horrible and very tough to get through, but you WILL get there.

Try and picture this scenario: I bet your Oswald is having the time of his life right now! My cats will be showing him round, wherever they are, and they'll be getting high on catnip, chillin' out listening to John Lennon. (Maybe our cats are singing backing vocals for him? They'd probably sound better than Yoko.). They'll always be with us. They're probably looking down at us now thinking how silly humans are for not being able to interpret cat language,and how superior the feline species is. :-)

Hope that helps, my friend.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry for your loss. The thing is when you have a pet in you life for any length of time they become a part of your family. They are there when you come home and sit with you at night. They need you. When that's gone its like theres a huge gap. It feels like your house is empty. Every room will remind you of Oswald and for a while it will feel strange not having to watch where you put your feet or making sure your home to feed him. You can get another cat, this is not replacing Oswald. When someone who was widowed remarries it doesn't mean they are replacing their former partners, it just means they have moved on. Its okay to want a new cat maybe you could get a rescued cat, then in a way, something good can come out of something bad. If you don't wish for another cat though... you could try giving some not all but some of Oswalds's things a rescue centre. It just might cheer some other cats up and would be a nice thing to do in Oswalds memory. There are still times when I get choked. I miss my pet desperatley and he died 8 years ago. Give yourself time, it will get better. All the best for the future.

Answer 3

I have 4 cats and I'm not sure what I would do without them. The only animal I've ever lost was a dog named Lonesome. When she died, I was there. I watched as they put her to sleep because her liver failed and she couldn't walk anymore. I thought of her a lot and eventually decided that we needed a new dog. Perhaps it was a bit too soon for this decision; we only waited 3 months. Besides, our family isn't really a dog oriented family, so the new dog doesn't get as much attention. You're cat sounds very special and will always mean a lot to you, but if anything, I think it might do you good to give a home to a poor homeless one. You've waited and grieved, but I think to overcome it, you could give the same love you gave to Oswald, to another cat. That way, another living animal would benefit and you would benefit from the company.

Answer 4

I am very sorry about Oswald

Ignore people who say you shouldn't grieve for a pet.They just don't understand the bond people have with their companian animals.

Don't worry that your still grieving.The amount of time people take to get over a loss varies but many people take much longer than a year so your not unusual.

Getting a new cat may help but don't get 1 until your sure your ready.

If you do get a new cat get 1 that looks as different as possible to Oswald.If you get a cat that looks like him you'll expect it to behave a bit like him and if it doesn't this will make you sad again.

You will always miss Oswald.You never get rid of the pain from a death fully.It just gets less and becomes easier to live with over time.

Answer 5

Getting over grief in any form, human or animal is a personal one. Sometimes people can get over a pet's death sooner than some people can.

I lost my perfect cat a year ago and got two kittens. They are filling up my empty house, but I still grieve over my cat. She was the all to me.

You know no one can tell you how to get over it. You must just ride with it. It will take a lot of some days and more some days.

You are a person that holds on to your loves as our pets are part of us, as I am with my love cat. But, we must go on and give other cats a wonderful life with us because they need our companionship and a good loving person to take care of them as we did with our cats that have now gone to cat heaven.

It's ok to grieve and let be, sometime you grief will turn into a settling emotion for your beloved cat and you won't feel so depressed.

Answer 6

My cat died in September 2006 and I fwlt so sad for ages, everytime anyone mentioned her I began to cry. I never ever thought I would get over loosing her. However, out of the blue in early January 2007 a stray befriended us and now had become a fixture in our household. It was one of the best things that could have happend. I still miss my old cat but having a kitten round the house has cheered me up no end. I am not saying rush out and buy another cat but its defo something to think about if your still feeling so upset.

Answer 7

I'm very sorry to hear about Oswald. I own three black cats and have lost two in the past, and most recently my dog in September, so I know how it feels. It's a very terrible feeling.

The best part is that you still think of the good times you had with him. It takes time to heal over the death of a pet. A pet was a part of your family, no doubt about it.

There's no clear way to 'get over it'. People can tell you to get over it, but that never works. You must keep focusing on the good times.

How about a memorial service for you and maybe family members/friends to mourn Oswald? There are even pet cemeteries where you can have a headstone or a plaque to keep his memory alive.

I know it may sound extreme, or like I'm loopy, but I do know how it feels and this, as with all other deaths, takes time to heal. Even talking about it with someone helps a little.

Pets I've lost years ago are still in my thoughts, so you will never forget about him, I'm sure. But do try to focus on the good things and just remember, healing takes time. And in different times for all of us. There is no 'set time' when dealing with a loss of a pet, or human for that matter. You 'get over it' when you do.

Once again, very sorry to hear about Oswald.

Answer 8

Pets can become much like children and we (caring, loving individuals) can become very attached. It is OK to grieve; don't let anyone tell you other wise. It's good that you are remembering the good times with Oswald. If you feel ready to get another pet then you should.
My Siamese, Bart died four years ago and although I still miss him and still cry sometimes; I can tell you it WILL get better. Having my other cat helps because I still have someone to cuddle. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

I agree with everyone who said that it might be time to get a new kitty. As hard as that is to do, I promise, it takes your mind off of how much you miss the pet you lost, and reaffirms that life does go on. Having kittens around is so therapeutic- you'll be amazed at how much it can really help.
I just lost my cat of 16 years (and my best friend, I must say- I had her since I was 8 years old) at the beginning of February, and so I know how deeply the loss of a beloved friend can be. She was so amazing, and I'll never stop hurting at the thought of her being gone. I'm thankful though that my family encouraged me to get another pet as soon as I was ready though, because it really has helped me cope with the loss. I was miserable for a week- more depressed then I have been in a long time, and I just couldn't stop thinking about losing her, but once they brought these two adorable kittens into my life, it helped me see just how sick she was and how it was her time to go, and how much it was me that didn't want to let her go. It's not about replacing your kitty, it's about finding the strength to love another kitty again.
I wrote a book- I'm sorry. I can just really relate to your pain with all of this.
*huge hug* I hope it gets better soon. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 10

I am so sorry you fell so bad. I was a mess when I lost my cat for a while. I still had one left and couldn't stand being so sad. My other cat was depressed at the loss of her play mate. I waited about two months and then went out and got another cat. No you will not betray your lost pet If you decide to get another pet.
Good luck and know it is normal. Here is a link.