i just got ingaged?

Question

but he just beat on me and i am scared to leave and do anything about it

Answer 1

end it now before you get married, it will be a lot easier

Answer 2

a lot of women are in the same boat but nothing can be done unless you are willing to report this and have him arrested. Now tomorrow he will give some bull****about he's soooo sorry and he'll never do it again and honey I love you (ladies out there am I right?) and a lot of women fall for this and then it happens again. where I come from a man that beats on a woman would get beaten within an inch of his life-jail be damned. You dont have to put up with this, you can get out now before he does it again. I hope you are in no danger, but if there's a remote chance that you are then go to a friend's house. I truly sympathize with you. Your man has no respect for you whatsoever please lose him. there's still a few of us men out there who respect women. talk this over with your parents I'll bet dad especially will have a clear cut opinion. this is no way to start a life together-get out of it. God bless and good luck.

Answer 3

If he did it now he will do it more after you get married taking you for granted as you did'nt do anything about it. Dump the looser and you have fun. He is'nt much of a guy for treating a girl like you like that and such behaviour is intolerable by any standards and no matter what no one can or has the right to beat up.He does'nt deserve you.. move on sweety.

Another advice call 911.

Answer 4

Girl,
You have to leave now!! It is easier to end it now then to leave him later with all of the legalities! Why marry somebody who doesn't treat you as an equal? Please don't put yourself through that and if you choose to stay, get sterilized. I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm saying it because no child should be brought into an abusive home. Studies have shown that children in this environment do not thrive.

Treat yourself better because you deserve better!! Please sweetie. From one woman to another hold out for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right now!

Answer 5

No matter what leave. There is help. Call the police and file a restraining order. There is help if you ask for it. Most do not. They just take it.

I will pray that you will find the strength to do the right thing.

Answer 6

Wait until he isn't around, pack your things & go. If you aren't living with him, alllt he better. But don't go home.
Call your family & let them know you're okay but don't tell them where you're at either. They can't tell what they don't know. Then go to the authorities & sign a restraining order (costs about $20). If you're that afraid, you need someone to back you up. If you have access to a woman's shelter or an abuse hotline, get in touch with them as well.
Then start putting your life back in order.

Answer 7

You should be more scared if you stay with this person. The beatings will get worse, that I guarantee you (unfortunately). Take control of your life and leave. If you are scared speak to the police, call a help hotline, call your closest hospital for a referral for a therapist. A therapist is a non-biased person, with experience and will be confidential with your information. They can assist with putting things in perspective. Make sure you have a healthy support group (family/friends/therapist). If you don't have one at the moment, join a support group for people who have been or are in a situation similar to yours. This person you are with, who beat you, will try to do and say ANYTHING to keep you from leaving. Don't believe them. People hit (and yell) because they feel out of control and hitting/yelling is the only way they no how to gain contol. This makes them weak. They can't see this. A strong person doesn't hit or yell (okay at times we all raise our voice from time to time). A strong person learns how to deal with their feelings in a healthy way (ie. walk away from a situation until they can talk calmly and rationally). Regardless, don't try to save this person. Save yourself. Trust me I know. I am lucky to be alive today (long story)! No one can MAKE you leave this person except for you. I hope you do the right thing, the strong thing, the brave and courageous thing and save yourself (emotionally, physically and mentally) by leaving. No matter what you don't deserve to be physically, mentally, or verbally abused and what this person has done already is physically abuse. Once physically abused the mental abuse comes with it hand-in-hand. This person I am assuming has low self-esteem, maybe was abused himself as a child, or witnessed his father abusing his mother. This is a very common background for people who grow up to abuse others, that they themselves was abused. Regardless, this person needs to get professional help and it is not up to you to SAVE this person. They need to save themselves. This may be a co-dependent relationship you are in as well which is extemely unhealthy for both of you. You will have a lifetime of misery or a very shortened life if you stay with this person. Please don't be a statistic, be active, take control of your life. Love yourself enough to do the right thing for you...save yourself.

Answer 8

If you are scared to do anything about it will just continue. Get out. You will be much better off. Forget the ring, don't give it back though, sell it and help you start over.

Answer 9

Call your local Crisis Center like the YMCA ask about getting help to get out they will come and get you set you up in a secure place and help you set up for a new life with counseling and home etc I know its scary, but is it scarier than being dead?

Answer 10

Get out now before he beats up on the children you will eventually have if you don't have them already. Its easier to do it alone than with little ones in tow.

Answer 11

pack your bags, call a friend, throw the ring back at him and tell him to have a nice life. If he smacks you around now it will always happen, get out while you can.