Was does everyone think of a mother who deserts her baby. As I mentioned in a previous question I became a dad when I was 13 and last year my daughter mother left her with me and moved 500 miles away to her grandmothers. I now have legal custody and we live alone ( I fell out with my mother). I am now 17 and my daughter is 3. But I still do not understand how any mother could leave her child and never return for a visit. My little girl only recently stopped asking for her mother. What is everyones opinion on a deserting mother?
2007-02-12 12:38:58 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she too was 13 when the baby was born.
2007-02-12 14:09:10 · update #1
I am really sorry you had to go through that, she has a lot of growing up to you. and hands on to you. for being their for your daughter, its hard being a single parent. but You can do it. I really don't like mother who desert their children, but at least she knows her child is with the father and didn't desert her in a place where she doesn't know. so be lucky on that. I don't understand how any mother can do that, she must have some really emotional problem. and just couldn't cope. just be there for your daughter she needs you now than ever.
2007-02-12 12:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its horrible! Maybe she needs help. When you say she left her with you does that mean you didn't see her at first??? That sweet little girl needs to know that she is loved. I hope that you are being a father to her and not making her feel like she is only there cuz you have no choice. She might only be 3 but believe me they know these things! Now its your turn to let her know you love her and that you are not going anywhere. I understand what you mean about a mother leaving her child. I have been a mother for almost 6 years and I can't even stand going to the store alone for over an hour let alone never coming back!
2007-02-12 13:09:36 · answer #2 · answered by ♥fungirl♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel very differently when it is a grown woman that abandons her child versus a teenager who abandons her child.
A grown woman has the mental capacity to understand what her obligations are in the world and in taking care of a child.
Teenagers, are still grown children who have yet a lot of life experience to learn. I don't think less or more of her. I think she's doing what a normal child does when they're under pressure or scared, they run to the person they trust the most. For whatever reason, mainly being young and being ego centric, being a parent in your teens must be hard.
I respect you for remaining there with your child and I hope you have someone that helps you out.
I hope your baby's mom can one day get her act together and see the error of her ways and apologize, and I hope that you are still man enough for when that time comes to forgive her. She's done what she only knows how to do and can do at her age when she's scared.
It is all up to you if you want her to be in the child's life, but she is still the biological mother and at some point your baby is going to want to know her.
2007-02-12 13:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st how old is she and what was the relationship like during her pregnancy? Some young mothers can't handle the hormonal changes associated with having a child, after she does have the child. But keep in mind that you will be the lucky one in the end because you'll reap all the benefits, because there are multitudes of benefits. Stay strong because your daughter will be curious later so choose your words carefully to her. the mother is going to regret her leaving and will have to live with that.Also keep in mind that if the mother does come back the childs love for her is unconditional and keep open comunication regardless of your feelings. Young single mothers go through these feelings all the time you are to be commended for standing up for your daughters future.
2007-02-12 12:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by irishlady712003 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have my admiration!!! That is awfully young to become a mother or a father! It is very sad that your wife left your little girl and yourself, however maybe in the long run you will see it is for the best. It is a lot of responsibility for you and I am sorry that you have no help from your mother. Bless your heart, you are a child with a child. Do the very best you can because when you are old (like I am) you will discover that that little child is your most cherished thing in the world!!! Anytime you have a chance to invest time and love and attention do so because it is never wasted. Most of all I will pray for you because you are the one accepting the responsibility and you deserve praise and respect. Do not dwell on the fact the mother left, just focus on life for yourself and your child. God bless you!
2007-02-12 12:45:27 · answer #5 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most mothers can't deal with becoming a mother at such a young age. She probably felt frighten and couldn't handle the responsibility. I know it is hard for you and I'm quite sure she is thinking of her everyday. Now that you and her have grown a little she is wanting to see her, but is afraid of how you would react. Yes you give her time and don't let the past interrupt your future. Hold on and stay strong for you and your child. She will come around; give her a chance only if she is willing to make that change.
Best Wishes and Good Luck,
Kimberly H
2007-02-12 12:50:46 · answer #6 · answered by Kimberly H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she hasn't called or even visited why the custody battle with her. All you have to do is prove you can provide for her and she can't have her and you can set up visitation for her to see her if she wants to. SO don't worry it's, not unless you can't provide for your daughter then there's a problem. But mother's are like that and also she was a minor and had to go where she was told to.
2007-02-12 12:54:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand it, even though it's sad. Many times it is difficult for a child to be responsible for a turtle much less a child. At age 13, you and she should not have been having sex. You should have been going to parties and arcades and having fun. At age 17, you would be doing the child a favor if you put her up for adoption with an older couple who is financially set and you go back to school and make something out of your young self.
2007-02-12 12:46:39 · answer #8 · answered by darkdiva 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't really matter what we all think of mom's who leave their children...because what does matter is how it is affecting you. What a responsibility you have. When someone leaves their child, all I can think of is the deep regret they will have someday, and that they must be scared and a little messed up in their mind. Who would want to be that person? All you can do is do your best and do what you feel is right in your heart. What an honor it is for you to be the one person this little girl looks up to. Think of the positive impact you can have on her life!
2007-02-12 12:47:25 · answer #9 · answered by blahblah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not 'jumping your case' by saying this but she no doubt had a reason no matter how irrational it was. in some sense she justified herself in doing so and later she may see the mistake she has made and then try to make amends.this is often what happens after such a tragedy. take care of the child and try not to worry overmuch.you are to be commended on caring for your daughter
2007-02-12 12:54:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋