How do I become a better mother?

Question

I find my self so stressed at times and my children make it worse by mis behaving and most of the time I yell. I do spank my children when they get out of hand really bad. A little smack on there butt we have tried the whole time out thing and my 4 year old laughs and my 2 year old is starting to do it.
It is cold sup zero here now and it is to cold to take them to the park or something not to mention we have 91 inches of snow.I do take them in the snow to play when it is in the 20's .
Anyways what I am asking is what can i do with them involving indoors activites so they will have soemthing to do and have fun. I feel like I don't do enough with my children and maybe that is why they act out. I really don't know why they act like they do i buy them things do things with them give them lots of hugs and kisses.
Does anyone have any ideas

Answer 1

One reason why little ones act out is because they get reactions...good or bad doesn't matter to them. In their little minds they believe that if mommy pays attention to them all the time then that's a great thing...but to do that they have to sometimes be bold and when they are it causes problems but hey, it's got your attention, that's all that really matters.

So, you are right in looking for things to do with them...good for you!!! See you are a good mom after all. The time outs can be hard in the beginning...try timing out for their age, the 4 year old...4 minutes time out, the 2 year old, 2 minutes...yes, you will have to put them in time out 20 or 30 times the first while until they get to understand mom means business. Sticking them on a chair and telling them not to move isn't going to allow them to understand why they are there. Good eye contact, get down to their level, explain in clear and simple terms what they did wrong and why they are in time out. After they've served their 'sentence' get down to their eye level again, go over the reason why they were there, ask for an apology and hugs and kisses and I love you's and off they go til the next time :) They will of course forget themselves somewhere along the way the first few days at least. To be expected.

Kid activities...follow some of these links:

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/preschooler/pgames/index

http://students.shu.ac.uk/services/childcare/education/activities/activities2.html

If you've seen the Art Attack shows...here's the site. This is a great way to spend time with the little ones...although many activities are for 6 and older, there are a lot that can be geared down to accomodate the little hands of the 2-4 year old, with help from who else....mom :) http://www.hitentertainment.com/artattack/menu_artattacks.html

Enjoy...by showing the little ones that you can be fun to be with and that they need not stress you out...you'll enjoy a quieter, happier less stressed day with your little guys.

Good luck

Answer 2

ok...I can answer part of your question.
First though, if I were you, and actually I am in the same situation...is research on discipline methods. I went to the library and bookstore and got some books on useful discipline and it's been working great.
As for what to do during the day, I just went through this last week, I decided to come up with ideas as if I were running a daycare. I went out and bought play dough, farm anilmal figurines, puzzles, and so forth. Maybe just make a list of fun things that can be done in the home. Including reading, toys, baking, crafts....etc etc etc.
You're not a bad mom, you're just running out of ideas...:) You're a good mom for wanting to give them more :)
Hope this helps

Answer 3

I know it's hard to entertain when your stuck in the house with the 2 babies. It can be stressfull. I know our local library has story time for the toddlers and infants. There are many Mommy and me groups where a group of mothers meet once a week at each others house or even the movies or somewhere for the kids. Our church also does something like that.
Some ideas for entertaining preschoolers during quiet and active play are listed below.
For your 4yr old try....
* easy board games such as Candyland, Chutes and Ladders
* imaginative games such as playing school, store or spaceships
*listening to stories that you make up or read.
*walking around the house to find "treasures" such as pine cones, pretty rocks or other things...
*tag or hide-and-seek
*riding toys that are safe inside
* jumping rope
*"Mother May I," Red light/Green light
* playing catch or basketball with the door kind and sponge ball
*I have a used plastic play gym inside my other living room and the kids play on that. I get to sit down and watch them while I have a cup of tea and relax.
Try a search in your local area for mommy groups or free activities. Take each day one at a time. Thats all we can do as mothers. It is very hard and especially in the cold and miserable weather. Try to keep yourself healthy and as stress free as you can. Without you, nothing is possible.

Answer 4

This seems to be an age-old question that probably has as many solutions as there are people who will answer it. I don't remember seeing a book or any other form of information available that shows us how to become better parents.. There are many different approaches to this query. Spend more time, spend less time, teach them to soothe themselves; coddle or nurture them; etc, etc, etc, etc, One thing that has helped me tremendously has been prayer and meditation in an effort to discover what the best course of action to take.
The good thing is that my children now have their own children and I will be able to see how well I performed my task as a parent by the way my Grandchildren are.

Answer 5

I have been in your situation. For he longest time I felt like all I did was scream. I have found that instead of getting louder if I whisper I can get there attention too and I feel better than I do when I am screaming. I have a four year old, one year old, and three month old. They enjoy dancing to music. I have some kid's CD's that they like but any music will do. It gets them moving to help get rid of built up energy that is hard for them to get out when stuck in the house all day. We also have exercise time... when they start to get out of control I "call an exercise break". They stop what they are doing and copy an exercise that I am doing... jumping jacks, jump on one foot, tiptoe, toe touches... anything you can think of. The love it. Anything you can think of to get them moving will help. Even if it is laying on the floor and doing leg lifts. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 6

I wouldn't say that you are a bad parent. Kids will act up no matter how great of a parent you are. Kids are kids and they will act like one. Spending time with them just shows them how much you love them and that you want to spend time with that. some places have indoor gyms that the kids can play on slides and stuff like that but YOU AREN'T A BAD MOM. it sounds like you are a very good mom because you are worried about it. hang in there all will turn out

Answer 7

you sound like a great parent kids will be kids and unfortunately that means mucking up!! i smack my daughter on the hand and on the bum and she laughs at me and it frustrates me more i don't think there is any physical punishment that i could use on my child she is just too damn tough she had a needle in each leg at the doctors( her last immunisations until 4!!) and i was waiting for her to scream and she laughed at both needles!!!kids can be so mean to there parents sometimes lol

Answer 8

MY SON LOVES CRAFTS. GET FOAM SHAPES, CONSTRUCTION PAPER AND GLUE AND HAVE HOURS OF FUN. HE ALSO LIKES TO PAINT. HE IS ALSO VERY EXCITED OVER PLAYDOUGH AND PUZZLES. THESE ARE HIS FAVORITE INDOOR THINGS TO DO. HE IS 4. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 9

hey hun
i think to become a better mother, you have to know your kids better. yes, focus on work, but you also have to spend time with your kids. hitting them wont help. they will only remembver you hitting them., not wut they did wrong. they might also think its ok-morden