He wants time for himself?

Question

My boyfriend has been very distant with me for the last couple of weeks. I met him last weekend and he was trying to make it up to me. He says he has so much stress at work, working till late hours as he did not get promotion from his last boss. He was pretty angry about that. Anyway, yesterday when he was leaving him, he said he needs some time alone, some time for himself. I started to cry and he tried to explain to me that he just needs to focus right now. The thing is today I texted him and asked him if we can meet this weeken and he said he has quite a lot of things to do and that he is sorry. I asked him if we are still together, he said yes and he said to me that he never said it's over. I asked him how long he needs and if it means no contact. He got a bit upset and said it does not seem like I can respect him. I am so confused, not knowing what to do? I am so scared of loosing him? I want to talk to him but he is distacing himself more and more?

Answer 1

looks like he's being a coward for not telling you like it is. You want to be shot of him sooner.... sorry dear

Answer 2

I'm so sorry sweety, first off my boyfriend still current said the same to me we live together so it's understandable that he would need time to think / require space for perspective and well us girls need me time so do guys especially when stressed at work and gave him space we are going strong and relationship is stronger as I respected his stress sometimes guys use those words for the reaction to choose there true feelings I feel anyways back to your situation yours different in that you see each other on weekends and unlike me where we live and breath each other so I would say go with your gut feeling if you think it's for him leaving you for another then there are trust issues and he did say that he did not say it's over so leave him give him his space if you trust him respecting his wishes you won't loose him lol although to be clingy you might do if and when you do converse again explain that you do respect him and that he needn't have gotten upset just that it confused you and that as a woman we take things like that personally IE: what did I do wrong when in fact all he really needed was me time? hope my answer assists you and don't worry so much use this time for me time to silly go with the gals have girly fun etc.. a break is a good thing xx thoughts are with you sweety

Answer 3

Well how stupid! How long does he expect you to wait around for him if he says you are still a couple? This is not fair to you. He should be more open with you. So what if this Thing turns into weeks, then months. I think in time you will know if you have no contact. He appears to be afraid that you will find someone else in the meantime and that is why he said you are still a couple but if no communication of any kind is being shared, well You are not a couple in my eyes. Sorry, and yet Good Luck in your decision. I think he is just stringing you along.

Answer 4

Hi Violet

This is a difficult time for you right now, not knowing what is going on with him, but whatever it is, it is up to him to sort it out asap & hopefully, you should be the first to know when that time comes.
I will try to be fair with my judgement of him because I do not really know & he may well have reasons for his actions, maybe he has to make important decisions & needs to be in an environment where he can concentrate or just have time enough to get the things done that he needs to do ( wash his socks or whatever)
When people bury themselves in work it is sometimes a symptom of stress & that something is worrying them so much that if they can see no way to change things they try to push it aside in their mind & just keep as busy as poss.
Obviously he could also have problems with money, he may be in debt. have a few bills to pay & maybe when you are together he spends more than he would normally ( it has been known for you girls to like spending your guys money) so anyway just be a bit more openminded is what I am saying & try not to put added pressure on him right now, that is exactly what he dos'nt need right now so don't go thinking that it is you that he dos'nt need, when he has explained to you already that that is not the case.
Give him a bit of trust & understanding when he needs it & he will see that you care & that you are there for him.
I hope after me going on like this he dos'nt let you down, but whatever happens you will be able to hold your head high & say you gave him the opportunity to make things right between you, & it wasn't through lack of understanding on your part.

goodluck!

Answer 5

Well i don't want to put things in your mind , How old is he ? If hes around 15-19 then maybe another girl on the seen , guys at this age find it hard to tell a girl the truth ,

It could also just be that he needs sometime to him self . Some guys need a little space from time to time,


Best thing you can do is call him and say love , I'm really worried and i don't want to lose you , I know this sounds funny but you mean everything to me and i want us to talk about all our issues and problems together.

Tell him that and see what he says , Tell him its V day on Thur and you want to spend it with him as hes really special to you,

Answer 6

you could give him the benefit of the doubt and leave it a week or so - but dont sit around go out with some of your mates and have a good time, perhaps a weekend apart will do some good but i woudnt give him any more time than that. Leave him alone for a few days and dont call or anything (i know it will be hard) then after the weekend contact him and see where you go from there

Answer 7

Hey Violet, I love your name by the way!
Ok...Your in a bit of a pickle as i can see...First of all, i think you need to chill a little bit, if im ever stressed, which it looks like you are, i go out, buy a nice sandwich, a hot chocolate and a millionaire shortbread, watch a bit of tv, then build up the confidence to do whatever it is that i need to do! Which in your situation is talk! Simply talk to him over the phone, and if worst comes to worst, go and find him, tell him that your truly feeling like something is up and tell him your feeling stressed and depressed! He'll understand and if he keeps going on about i'm busy, talk to you later and all that crap, then he's not worth thinking about!
you'll be ok honey! Just talk it over, and if he's a nice guy, he'll understand, if not then screw him!
Good luck honey!

Answer 8

Well, im all for dwelling in the sadness and all...and since he never said it was over....i think he might just need time to chill. dont talk to him for a few days and dont be surprised if it takes that long. You need to quit asking because you arent respecting his decision. now, if you'd had said something like, "ok i respect your decision and am 100% willing to support you in it...but KNOW that i am here for you still...always" or something like that even, it could've worked out better. If not, just turn it into anger and dump him first so you dont look like......you know.

Answer 9

If he wants time, give him time!!!! On the meantime do your own things, keep yourself busy doing what you like...and you never know, by the time he comes back, you might be the one who doesn't want him.
Do something fun this weekend with your friends, and enjoy life without him...you might be surprised!!

Good Luck!!

Answer 10

maybe you should stop and think about your self and what you wont, try not to worry and don't let your heart be troubled, as hard as it is try and think positive and be happy if he wont's to be with you let him come to you, try not to get possessive but let him know your there for him if he needs you,there's two people in a relationship and he needs to respect your needs to. hope every thing works out. don't worry there's ups and dawn's in life think about the good things, be happy.