I am under so much stress because we are in so much trouble with our mortgage. we are at the point of losing our house. my wife does not know how bad it is, we have a 5 month old son and we have put so much money into our house, this is the last thing we could lose. instead of paying the mortgage i have paid our credit debts. and then made sure we have enough money left to make sure we have enough money to make sure we can pay for nappies and food for our son. im at my witts end because i feel that whatever i have done im still not going to win. make sure my son is looked after and not pay mortgage or pay mortgage and not have money for his food and stuff. help needed
2007-02-12 12:08:16 · 10 answers · asked by karl p 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
feel like its got to the point where i should just leave, cos im scared of losing my family and i know they will blame me for it. its like a no win situation.
2007-02-12 12:11:35 · update #1
my god theres actually a blok out there thats concerned about having enough money for nappies etc. well done you, i think the best thing you can do is go to the cab as they have trained people who can help with money matters and advise you the best way to go etc, they will also advise if its worth getting in touch with your mortgage company yet or waiting a while (mortgage co are more understanding these days as so many get in to troubles and they would rather reduce payments for a while than have to reposess property -which costs them more in the long run) there are also a few online debt consileration companys to like http://www.debtsolver.co.uk/ theres loads around and some are 24hours -make sure if you call any that they do not charge for there help
good luck
2007-02-12 12:32:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I think you really need to sit down with your wife and tell her this.
If she loves you she will not blame you and you should be more important to her than the house. Citizens Advice Bureau are there to help - they can go through all of your debt, your income, and take over for you if you can no longer cope or want them too. I would make a list of incoming money and outgoing money and take it too them. If you get a financial advisor you may have to pay so that wont help.
Do you have the option of asking family or friends for help ?
Could you downsize house, i realise it takes money to move house as well though but it could be an option once you get a bit more straight financially.
Even in the worse case senario - you can go bankrupt - many people have had to when they have no other way out - and you will then get help from the government. You have a child and you would not be made homeless.
Do not let this beat you, you have tried to keep your child in food and nappies and everything that goes with having a family and a mortgage, it is not easy.
Does your wife bring in an income or could she.
I know child care is expensive, do you have family or friends that could help with the baby?
Sorry i cant be more helpful, wish i could.
1st step for me would be Citizens Advice Bureau though.
All the best x
2007-02-12 20:30:37 · answer #2 · answered by elly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to speak with your mortgage provider th worst thing to do is get stressed out and ignore the letters perhaps you can postpone a couple of payment or remortgage. You should tell your wife how you are feeling and what is going on. You need a budget there is lots of advice at debt councilling sites. Don't bury your head in the sand.. you can solve this..best wishes
2007-02-14 15:51:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor guy! You sound like such a lovely caring person.
Your wife is very lucky to have someone like you.
Go to your bank or building society & ask if the type of mortgage you have can be changed, esp. so you get lower repayments & perhaps the freedom to enjoy "holidays."
Shop around.
Check what offers you can get by switching mortgage provider/s.
Any cash back deals on offer?
Ask for one that has no fees attached!
Could be you are paying too much?
Another option: (Hard choice): Sell your house & move to where house prices are lower?
2007-02-13 02:27:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is tell your wife.A problem shared is a problem halved.My advise is to phone National Dept line 0808 808 4000 its free advise and is charity run,so it isn't going to cost you a penny.The longer you leave this problem the worse its going to get.
I know you probably think your the only one with a money problem, but believe me there's thousands.
There's no shame in not managing your money, you've done the worst part by asking for help and admitting that your not coping.
Please tell your wife and share your burden.
Good Luck
2007-02-12 21:33:13 · answer #5 · answered by gretta 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have no choice, but to tell your wife about the situation, for she has a right to know and between the two of you you may be able to work something out If in GB then go straight to the Citizens Advice Bureau, taking all your financial details and follow their guidance.
I hope this helps.
2007-02-12 20:19:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you're so concerned, not many men out there who would be this worried!
There's a lot of debt consolidation agencies out there, if you look on www.yell.co.uk (if you're in the UK or yell.com elsewhere) and there'll be alot you can check out. If you do a search on Yahoo! there'll be the most recent, more helpful ones come up first, so that should be helpful for you.
Good luck,
2007-02-14 09:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs Stevo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some financial advice!
2007-02-12 20:16:14 · answer #8 · answered by Flaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a lot of advertising for consoliding dbts try one
2007-02-13 05:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by grannyatlondon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you find a second job?
2007-02-12 20:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋