Do wives really talk too much?

Question

When she scolds our kids (8 years old and 3 years old), it takes a litany of sermons to prove her point. Yes, maybe she has a point. But in explaining it, it takes her forever to point it out, often times moving to other issues. Is this normal for women her age? She is 41. I remember my mother to talk as much.

I appreciate the first 3 answers. However, to further clarify, she also talks to me that way. I appreciate her talking to be a representation of her care, such as when I skip meals, I take cold showers, etc. She talks too much, though I just take it, and no problem. But my 8 year old kid sometimes gets exasperated and answers back, and naturally, she is now guilty of disrespect, which I cannot tolerate. But it was triggered by non-stop long talking. When I scold, I give the point, and even ask them what wrong did they do, often times, they know. It just need to be explained softly, gently, and precise. My wife is not that type.

Answer 1

If you are strictly talking about your wife's talking to your kids, then she is either wasting her time or she is a genius. I'll let her decide.

If she is going on and on and on to your 8 and 3 year old, hoping that they'll listen and understand her, good luck. They've already tuned her out by the third sentence, especially the 3 year old. So if the point is to make a point, make it and move on.

However, this is where she could be a genius. When I was a kid, my old man was 5'11' and 245 pounds. He could pick up snowmobiles that had become bogged down. He never laid a finger on me, because he never had to. I knew that if for some reason that I ever got into a fight with my old man, it was all over for me.

However, I was much more afraid of my mother, 5'3" and she'd kill me if I disclosed her weight. She never laid a finger on me, but she was the queen of psychological torture. Like your wife, she would just go on and on and on. I would have much prefered that she had hit me. At least that would have been over and done with.

I remember one time in my teens, I had done something wrong (don't recall what it was) and she was going on and on and on about it. I snapped at her, saying "OK, I get it." Then she stared going on and on and on about me being disrespectful. And then when she was done with that, she went back to the original point.

Answer 2

Not all wives are the ones who go on and on and on and on about something even when there is nothing to be accomplished by going on and on and on and on...... Some husbands are guilty of that too.

In fairness to your wife, though, women are often more likely to understand that getting through to children and explaining what the point is takes talking. Many men - without having the "human understanding" type of thinking ability mothers do - think it should just require a "Don't do that again." Mothers often use certain times to make it a teaching moment.

So what you may see as extra talking may actually be just the right amount of talking if her purpose is to get through to the children. It could be that your lack of understanding of what it takes to make children understand all the consequences and all the reasoning that go into one rule or another makes you see her as talking too much.

The way boys have been raised until now often means that men have very little grasp of the "psychology" of parenting, children's emotions, and child development. You already know what her point is about some rule that the children break. They don't. They're coming from somewhere else, and there is a good chance that all her talking is precisely the voice they'll hear when they are faced with making a wise or a stupid choice some day.

Answer 3

I wouldn't expect any less. Kids need to learn the difference from right and wrong and they need to know they will be accountable for their actions, At any age.

Answer 4

My condolences, my mom is like that but from time to time I talk to her and explain her the we all deserve respect and not non stop scolding and she changes for some time and then again we talk and this is how we live, but i do not complain. so please talk to her, for you children and for yourself. but please do not make her fell guilty, make sure that she feels appreciated, but it just that the kids need some motivation and they need to hear and feel that you are an authority and not another kid of their mom's