What do you say to convince someone that the army isn't the way the recruiters describe it?

Question

They are a female family member and is only 19.

Vampyredo: It turns out that I do have 1st hand knowledge of the army life. My daughter was in there but was lied to about the army and my step son is currently serving a 6 yr. tour and he says the money is ok, but the army itself is messed up. He is a very strong person, both physically and mentally. Some people just seem to really have a knack for buddying up.

You know what, the army does lie because my daughter was threatened to not open her mouth.

Answer 1

Simple. Tell them what the military's job is. Apart from the fancy talk and clever sales pitches. The army is in the business of killing as many people as it can in one shot. So is the opposing army. Also, some of the lowest, reprehensible people on earth join the army because they have no other option. You'll find a way.

Answer 2

It's very simple... you have to get some regular soldiers to talk to her AND talk to you about what the "real-deal" is. Life in the Army is not something you can even begin to speak about unless you have lived it... and it is also something you can't speak AGAINST unless you have lived it. What I'm saying is that perhaps it's not just her that needs the talking to. Many choose service for many different reasons, and they shouldn't be deterred from it by their family support group if thats what they want to do. You can inform them and make sure they get good information, but thats about it. Then you should support her decision, whatever it is. But everyone in the family who wants to show a concern should also show a concern for her feelings and ambitions and try and inform themselves as well. There may be recruiters out there who sugarcoat things or even plain Bull-s**t things... but there are also a whole lot of media-wolves and people with blinders on that slam the military and civil service in any way possible (and yes... that includes exagerating things and even lying outright). So get the opinions of some real soldiers doing the real job, that way the whole family can get informed and talk about the options.

By the way... for the story-teller talking about girls getting raped in Basic-Training... check the headlines... if its not in there, its because it didn't really happen the way you heard it. Urban legends about Basic-Training are more common then stories about coca-cola and pop-rocks. Believe me when I say, if the military had a story like that happen for real... the media would be more than happy to plaster it all over the 6 O'clock news and the front pages for months!

Answer 3

First, don't assume that the military isn't the right fit for her, it may be just the thing. That said....

Explain to her that a recruiter is in essence a sales person. If you're shopping for a car, you don't just listen to the car's "spokesperson"...you research it, test drive it, etc. She should do the same. Any way she could visit a service member for a bit? She should certainly speak to active and veteran soldiers/sailors/Marines/etc.

(I remember reading an autobiography about a Navy female prior to joining, it didn't sway my decision but was a true account of military life...it's more old school than anything she would deal with in today's military but there are bound to be some literature/"reality-reading" out there she could benefit from)

My recruiter was very accurate in his sales tactics. Perhaps I was lucky, I have heard less than honorable stories. It was a wonderful thing for me to join. (never should have left)

If she's "only 19", is she in college now? working? Is she shaping her future in positive ways now or getting lured into that after high school slump that has little structure?

Good luck to you and your family member. It's good that you are looking out for her and helping her make an informed decision.

Answer 4

At least don't let her go to the recruiters alone! They are very intimidating when they take you to meps to be processed and choose a job they will rush you through the process. THey only tell you a minimum. They tell you all the benefits like school and bonuses. But the truth is not all jobs get a bonus and you only have time fro school if your commander lets you or when you get out. Anything you really want to know you have to ask, or research yourself. My husband even told the recruiter he wanted to go over his job choices with her before picking but they still came and got him and told him he had to pick that day! My husband said they make you feel like they are already in control so it's hard to say "no i want to wait" when they went through all the trouble to get you there. So he ended up with a job he didn't want because it was almost 3pm and they go home at 3:30!! He is in ait right now and it's full of goof offs and punks starting fights and pulling fire alarms, which gets everyone else in trouble. BUT THE MAIN THING YOU SHOULD KNOW IS ....at basic where my husband was at a few months ago a girl was raped by her drill sgt. and she was not the 1st one. it turned out there were 7 or more girls before her. So the ARmy is not the safest place for a woman. But it's a last resort if she has not other job or school options in life. just tell her to really research it and get on some discussion boards like military.com and ask for the truth for herself!! it's not just a job..it's a life changing choice she has to make! it can be the good life, but it's hard too!

Answer 5

I know there are recruiters that tell a bunch of bs but when my husband joined I went with him and talked to the recruiter several times myself and he also let me talk to his wife as did another recruiter. They were pretty forthcoming about everything. It might've helped that they'd been the same MOS as my husband though (all 11B) They all really told both of us the good, bad and the ugly of military life and didn't sugarcoat anything at all. What would probably be best is if you sat down with this family member and wrote a list of all the questions she wants answers to. That's what we did and it really does help clear things up. But in the end it's up to her whether or not she enlists and if she already wants to then she probably will and that's not a bad thing.

Answer 6

Have that girl get some regular soldiers as a tourguide and have a guest tour of a local army base. I had a bunch of fort hood soldiers personally describe the frequent number of soldiers who were alcoholics and stressed that if you had options other than the army, you should take them. (this came from airborne soldiers from Fort Campbell)

Answer 7

so... what you said still isn't "first hand knowledge" since it's coming from someone else.

The Army was exactly how my recruiter told me it would be. Most days are good, some days suck, just like in the real world, but just a little bit better.

Answer 8

You have them talk to someone that is in the Army other than the recruiter!

Answer 9

Honestly, I heard all of it when I joined the army... I would be out sleeping in trenches... eating dirt with my food. My job however was a quartermaster, so I didn't have to deal with that. It all really depends on your job.

Answer 10

easy tell them to join they will find out very quickly