Who has any jokes?

Answer 1

you clearly don't

Answer 2

This guy walks into the bar and sits down to slam some beers. He talks to the bartender and explains how he's happy because he had his first bj(*******) that night. The bartender says congratulations and gives him another beer. So time goes on and within a couple hours, he has about 7 beers. The bartender asks him if he wants another beer and the man says, nah I dont think the eigth one will get the taste out of my mouth either. LOL

Answer 3

Learning to be a grasp of pulling portraits is easy with the aid of Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery guide from here https://tr.im/8Clsh .
With Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery guide you will got that called Session Brain Maps and each with this lesson is sold with what're named “Process” or “Mind” maps. These are essentially outline summaries of that which was covered in each of the lessons.
With Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery you will even obtain 100 Large Resolution Research Images since if you will exercise your picture drawing, then you are likely to need guide pictures. This bonus contains 100 good quality black and bright images made up of 70 encounters and 30 skin features. Very useful!

Answer 4

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Faluijiah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.
On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and
alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent".
We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scumbag,
and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left wing liberal drunk". So I said that "Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts
like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian"! He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Hillary Clinton".

And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.

Answer 5

Well
If you want to discover the secrets of drawing realistic pencil portraits you really need to visit this site: http://pencilportraits.toptips.org

These drawing lessons, both throughly enjoyable and productive, go well beyond casual sketching: students learn to observe minutely the details of any given face, to see what is, and what is not, before them, and how to translate what they see into what are after all just pencil marks on paper.

I highly recommend it for both the experienced and the inexperienced artists alike.
Cheers.

Answer 6

An elephant, a monkey, a weasel, a zebra, an antelope, a dinosaur, a mammoth, a penguin, a crocodile, an ant eater, a gorilla, a baboon, a girapphe, a panda and a bonobo monkey all sheltered under an umbrella. Who got wet?

None of them, it wasn't raining.

Hurrah.

Answer 7

Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients but felt really guilty about it all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming but once in a while he'd hear a reassuring voice inside him say "Dave, you wouldn't be the first doctor to sleep with one of the patients and you won't be the last plus you're single so just let it go.
But invariably there would be the other voice that would bring him back to reality whispering...
"But Dave you're a Vet".

Answer 8

I am a newcomer to Yahoo and would like to know how to post a joke and what 'Send IM'
means

Answer 9

Whats the difference between an egg &flicking the bean?





You can beat an egg!!!!!






Whats the differencebetween light & hard?





You can sleep with a light on!!!

Answer 10

WICOE (Women In Charge Of Everything) is proud to announce
the opening of its "EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!"

The course covers two days, and topics covered include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS. Step by step guide with slide
presentation.

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable
discussion.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR. Practicing with
hamper (Pictures and graphics).

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR
DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL. Losing the remote control - Help line and
support groups.

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS. Starting with looking in the
right place instead of turning the house upside down while
screaming - Open forum.

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE
TRASH? Group discussion and role play.

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR
HEALTH. PowerPoint presentation.

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. Real life testimonial
from the one man who did.

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL
PARKS? Driving simulation.

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER
AND YOUR PARTNER. Online class and role playing.

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. Relaxation exercises,
meditation and breathing techniques.

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
BE LATE. Bring your calendar or PDA to class.

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL
THE TIME.

Answer 11

Why is a pork pie like a pensioners fanny?????

coz u have to bite out the crust and lick out the jelly b4 u get 2 the meat!!!!!!!!