i live at home with my mother im 21 years of age, i work and i attend college. im too busy to go out. but when i do dhe gets upset, and fights with me ... i try doin every thing she ask for i help out with the rent.. i give money for what ever else is needed in the house,every time she talks on the phone with her best friend she talks about other peoples kids like "" ohh shes so lucky to hav kids like that.. my mom always puts me down. she never believes in me., we hav a bad relationship.. sometimes shes nice to me but other times she curse me out. for noo reason. she gets upset about the house bein dirty and blames it on me. i work from 630 am. till 3pm. thn i go to school from 450pm til 950 pm.. i get home so tired. and the first thing i walk into is her wild mouth and yelling ,,ii want to ove out,, i dont no what to do any more.. too may years of the same thing.. i feel like i hav no family.. i really do,,
2007-02-12 11:32:18 · 12 answers · asked by Damaris A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yeah, I think it is time to move out. Once you two are away from each other your relationship will be much better.
2007-02-12 11:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by Nette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me. I was a senior in college and working at night but my Aunt who was like my mom since she raised me all of a sudden started being negative towards me and complaining. She wasn't even proud when I graduated from college. A month after graduation, I had had enough of her and moved out. The best move I ever made. We realized after that how much we really did love each other and our relationship became a lot better.
Try getting a roommate. Two or three girlfriends chipping in to get an apartment can be fun and will begin teaching you how to live on your own.
2007-02-12 19:43:23 · answer #2 · answered by LuvMyGirls 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom sounds depressed. Seriously. If she's never happy and always blaming things on others, she needs to get help.
Your best bet will be to move out on your own. Yes, it will cost more. But just imagine getting home after a long, hard day of school and work, being able to kick off your shoes, have dinner and watch some TV in peace and quiet. It's worth every penny!
You will probably find that your relationship with your mother gets better as you get older and go out on your own. That happened to me.
2007-02-12 19:36:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to here seems your Mather she doesn't know how like she is to have you in the house if you are what you said.Do you have any brother or sister your daddy is not around and maybe she feels lonely try to talk nice to her and tell that you are a mature young lady and you love her and you know what;s you doing.When I was live in the family I had the same problem I'm one of the 4 children and I was doing the same you but I never was good until one day I left and went on my own I was Olly 16 now I'm old never got in troubled got married have my family my house with no one help.Good luck to you I wish you all the best.
2007-02-12 19:57:32 · answer #4 · answered by jashuear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son and me dont get along either, i dont think its anything your doing, its you grew up and its hard to live with another adult , especially when mom feels she needs help and she gets so frustrated she yells at her child (21 year old) .. there is nothing wrong its just time to move out or get away, she needs space as you do.. she is frustrated some how, you seem like a real good young adult i donno why she is complaining your doing so much to enrich your life. what more can she ask for . wow you have no time at all to even clean so how are you even making the messes is what im wondering lol...she can have my son who doesnt work and has a baby and is on disbaility. and ill take you anytime for the peace of m ind and less cleaning and cooking ..lol jk ... i personaly think its because our an adult, we all get frustraed with our grown children when they live at home . we patientley wait for you"s to move on. some do some dont.... I think one day when you get paid . buy your mom a small gift or even flowers leave them on the table as you leave to work or school... with a note thank you mom for caring. this should put a ease on her heart and se e you still her little girl who loves her.. but at the same time have grown and have a life of prioritys and it isnt her house cleaning anymore.. Good luck sweety...
2007-02-12 19:42:35 · answer #5 · answered by flowerlegz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your mum on the couch and start talking to her. Have you ever told her about you being annoyed over this. Dont fight, if you fight during the talking, you will accidentally hurt each other. So, chill out and talk. Tell her your problem and worries. Ask her why she never takes you as one of the proudest thing she ever had. If she doesnt want to answer, well, maybe you can move out and let her have her own time to think about it. But first, dont leave, confront.
2007-02-12 19:38:30 · answer #6 · answered by williams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, ups for being there and sticking it out for so long, but you dont have to take the emotional abuse. It will kill ya in the end. It builds up over time and evetually its gonna tare you apart. She probably one of those people who will never be happy and takes it out on you, maybe your not the everything she wanted you to be, which im not saying ur not, but maybe she had something else in mind. I am a sucessful, married mother of three, and my mom thinks im a slum. I have all my bills paid off, a new truck and nice home, and great kids! but yet somehow i can never please her. You could be fighting a battle you may never win. Im sure talking to her and tring to understand why she may be like that is going to be out of the question, so maybe its just time you accept it for who she is and move on. Sometimes we love the poeple who hurt us the most, but we cant deny or change who they are. Maybe u should consider moving out, finding a roomie who can split rent with you and going out on your own so u dont stress urself out. Youve got alot of life ahead of you~ Dont let those words eat at you, and believe in yourself, you are who you are, and do what you can, and be who you can be. Dont always aim to please evryone else. ITs you that matters! So goodluck!
2007-02-12 19:41:16 · answer #7 · answered by sweetnlovenkindagurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother was the same way..I could never do anything right. Always putting me down, and such. She changed when I moved to my grams because I couldn't hack her nagging me, and my gram didn't want me to be around my mom. Then I moved back home in the summer, it was horrible. Once I moved out she's as nice as can be, loving to me, hugs me, encourages me...My brother even tells me to stay at my apartment on the weekends b/c when I do go to moms on the weekends she's just as mean and nagging as she once was, so I keep my distance. I always thought she'd never be happier with me out, after all I'm the baby!
Maybe you won't see change in her until you move out like in my situation. I often blame my moms craziness on her menopause.
Good luck, and talk to her about it. It stuns my mom when I point out her wrong doings and flaws, then she usually tries to stop it.
-.-'
2007-02-12 20:09:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly...I think there is something missing from your mothers life and you just happend to be there for her to lash out at...
its probably not you...its her...
take a close look at your mom and her life....has she had a successful life by her defenition of what successful is???
the best advice i could give you would be to move out...try to salvage what little bit of a relationship you may have now before there is no relationship left....because sometijmes when theres that much resentlment and hurt you can never get those relationships back...and whether family is good or bad for you...lets face it...family is family..
good luck dear
2007-02-12 19:38:59 · answer #9 · answered by Berge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try sitting down with your mother and have a family talk and see what is the problem and try to work it out
2007-02-12 19:41:25 · answer #10 · answered by slp9209 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋